Explains what mental health problems are, what may cause them, and the many different kinds of help, treatment and support that are available. Also provides guidance on where to find more information, and tips for friends and family.
It can be very difficult to see someone who you care about becoming unwell, but you don’t need to be an expert on mental health to offer support. Often small, everyday actions can make the biggest difference.
If you know someone has been unwell, don’t be afraid to ask how they are. They might want to talk about it, or they might not. But just letting them know they don’t have to avoid the issue with you is important. Spending time with your loved one lets them know you care, and can help you understand what they’re going through.
"Sometimes all you need is a hug and for someone to tell you that you're going to get there."
Everyone will want support at different times and in different ways, so ask how you can help. It might be useful to help keep track of medication, or give support at a doctor’s appointment. If your friend wants to get more exercise, you could do this together, or if your partner is affected by lack of sleep, you could help them get into a regular sleeping pattern.
Phrases like 'cheer up’, ‘I’m sure it’ll pass’ and ‘pull yourself together’ definitely don’t help. Try to be non-judgemental and listen. Someone experiencing a mental health problem often knows best what's helpful for them.
"Leave out the 'cheer up' comments, they don't help and force my low moods lower as my condition is being made a joke of."
Keep in mind that having a mental health problem is just one aspect of your friend or family member's life. Most people don’t want to be defined by their mental health problem, so keep talking about the things you've always talked about together.
"For me, it is good to have them there to talk to me about other things, and take my mind off negative thoughts."
Trust and respect between you and your friend or family member are very important – they help to rebuild and maintain a sense of self-esteem, which a mental health problem can seriously damage. This can also help you to cope a bit better if you can see your support having a positive impact on the person you care about.
Supporting someone else can sometimes be stressful. Making sure that you look after your own wellbeing can mean that you have the energy, time and distance you need to be able to help. For example:
You may be entitled to social care support from your Local Authority to help you care for your friend or family member. You can contact them directly and ask for a carers assessment (see our pages on carers' social care rights and how to cope when supporting someone else for more information).
The charity Carers UK also provide more information and support for carers.
This information was published in October 2017. We will revise it in 2020.
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