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Supporting my daughter through crisis

Tuesday, 22 October 2013 Lynn

Lynn blogs about a difficult time in her daughter’s life and a continued struggle with anxiety and depression.

It was a day that I thought would never happen. As I stood waiting I thought of everything we had been through to get there. My daughter had endured nearly five years of mental health problems, beginning when she started university. She was not prepared to begin a life looking after herself when she had always been blanketed by her family. For that I totally blame myself as I was always aware that she had trouble coping with life and so had continually been there to sort out her problems. In fact, the main trigger for her anxiety is still being by herself.

When it happened, the care of the crisis team was inconsistent but without them I really don't know what we would have done. My daughter was experiencing psychosis and that was extremely frightening for her, but also very upsetting for us. It saddens me that some people don’t have the support of friends and family to help them through a mental health crisis. For those people who need 24 hour care, it appears to me that the only alternative for them is a stay in hospital. Some areas have a crisis house which can be a much more comfortable environment, we don’t have that but I truly believe it would make a difference if we did.

With the support we did receive, my daughter made it through and at her graduation day I cannot begin to tell you how proud of her I was. It was sheer determination to achieve her dream and graduate that drove her through the worst days. I will always be in admiration of that because she is a true inspiration. I will never forget results day. I had a phone call at work and all I could hear was crying. I thought the worst but then she said the words to me 'I did it Mum'.

I wanted this blog to be a positive piece to say that despite mental health problems, with the right support, people can overcome a crisis. In celebration of my daughter graduating, my husband ran his first half-marathon at the Royal Parks in aid of Mind, putting in a great deal of training beforehand, pounding the streets in preparation for the big day. The advice (in plain English!) that I have received from Mind's website has been invaluable. I have advised other friends to look at the website to help them during difficult times too and this is a big part of why we supported Mind at the Royal Parks.

Since my daughter has graduated, she has still been struggling with anxiety and depression. She has achieved the dream that kept her going through her crisis. She is not in crisis at the moment and is still able to continue with daily life. She has had to contact the crisis team that originally supported her and every day she has to fight her problems and life for her at times can be a real struggle.

Once again we find ourselves worried about our daughter's future and we look for continued support to get her through. She has various ideas of what she would like to do but we are sure that once she has decided, her will power and strength will drive her forward to achieve her ambitions in life.

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