I decided to do this blog as a coping strategy to get me through an otherwise pretty depressing and difficult day.
I have long-term mental health issues which have had a huge impact on my life.
For me, mental health issues are not something that have come and gone. They are quite ingrained and they’re quite deep and I'm sure there’s lots of people out there who are exactly the same as me.
I wanted to share my feelings about recovery in the hope that it might help you if you might be feeling similar to how I was earlier.
Because how I was earlier, was crying my eyes out in the therapy room, telling my CPN that I didn’t believe recovery was possible, that I had no hope, that I felt I was always going to be in pain.
And I know now that that’s nonsense, that’s just nonsense that my depression wants me to believe and I'm just going to throw all that out because that’s rubbish and I'm not going to listen to that because that’s just a tape that plays in my mind.
So, by doing this blog I'm putting on a different tape in my mind, a positive tape. And on this tape it says somehow you can, you can recover, you will recover, be kind to yourself, accept that the problems you have are there for a reason, you were abused, you had childhood trauma. It’s natural that you're going to have mental health issues.
But I speak as someone who’s been rock bottom and I can tell you I believed when I was rock bottom that things would never ever get easier and they have.
They have drastically, drastically improved and I'm now functioning to a level which I thought wasn’t possible.
But I still have my difficult times, like this morning, where I'm crying my eyes out and feeling completely discouraged and I think that is a completely normal part of recovery.
And the important thing now when it happens is to realise that it’s just the tape playing, of depression, and just change the tape because I don’t want to listen to that tape.
I want to listen to the positive messages and I want to connect with people who understand. And I know that I'm not the only one out there that feels the way I feel.
I'm a blogger, so I've connected with several people who have similar problems to me and I've made wonderful friends with blogging and maybe vlogging is going to be something I go into in the future or, like, maybe writing a book or something, but I have all my hopes and dreams and those are the things that keep me going.
So, I'm going to end this video now but it really helped me to do this and I hope that it’s maybe helped you a little bit to watch it.
And just the message I want to give is it will be okay, it’s a long road. But you will get there and I will get there but we just need to keep taking the positive fork in the road, away from the depression and all of the rubbish of that, and towards something positive because there’s always something positive.
So, thank you for watching and take care. Bye.
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