If you experience BPD you might feel like every day is a struggle, but in fact there are lots of things that could help, both now and in the longer term:

• Helping myself now
• Helping myself in the longer term

What can I do now?

When I am in a really irritating and triggering situation which I can't get out of or change I just take it five minutes at a time. Breaking it into bite-size pieces makes it possible.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it might help to focus on one feeling at a time. Here are some ideas that you could try to see if they work for you. Different things work at different times for different people, so try to be kind to yourself if some things don’t work for you. Over time, you might develop your own tips to add to this list too.

I have found meditation/listening to a tape on meditation and mindfulness very helpful on occasions.

What can I do in the longer term?

If you experience BPD you might feel like every day is a struggle, but in fact there are lots of things that could help. You could:

• Talk to someone
• Keep a mood diary
• Plan for difficult times
• Make a self-care box
• Try peer support
• Look after your physical health
• Find specialist support for any connected issues

With time, you do learn to cope with [BPD] better. I have struggled for 15 years, but every year I seem to get stronger and better at coping with it!

Talk to someone

It can be hard to reach out when you’re not feeling well, but it might help to share difficult thoughts. If you don’t feel you can talk to the people around you, you could try contacting a helpline. For example, you can talk to Samaritans for free on 116 123 or [email protected] about anything that’s upsetting you. (See our page on telephone support for more information about different helplines.)

I now work within mental health and am trying to break the stigma. I still self-harm and have suicidal ideation but I have hope. I think trying to live using the recovery drivers of CHIME (Connections, Hope, Identity, Meaning and Empowerment) really helped me.

Keep a mood diary

Recording your moods in a diary could help you spot patterns in what triggers difficult experiences for you, or notice early signs that they are beginning to happen.

You could also make a note of what's going well. It's really important to be kind to yourself and recognise difficult steps you’ve taken, or new things you’ve tried.

If I am feeling very bad but can't put into words how I feel or why, I wear a particular bracelet. My closest friends and family know that this means I am having a rough time at the moment and might need some TLC.

Plan for difficult times

If you're feeling less well you might not be able to tell people what help you want, so it could be helpful to plan ahead.

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) – the organisation that produces guidelines on best practice in healthcare – recommends that everyone with BPD has a crisis plan. This should include possible triggers, self-help strategies and details for getting support, and should be shared with you and your GP.

(See our on planning for a crisis and making a support plan for more information).

Sometimes I have good periods where my symptoms don’t really trouble me – at other times, they can be overwhelming. It’s sometimes hard not to beat myself up for the relapses, but that’s something I need to keep working on. It’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Make a self-care box

You could put together some things that might help you when you’re struggling – a bit like making a first-aid kit for your mental health.

For example:

• favourite books, films or CDs
• a stress ball or fiddle toy
• helpful sayings or notes of encouragement
• pictures or photos you find comforting
• a soft blanket or cosy slippers
• a nice-smelling candle or lavender bag.

There are positive sides too; I believe that I experience pleasant emotions more strongly than others, and my friends value my sincerity.

Try peer support

Peer support brings together people who have had similar experiences. Some people find this very helpful.

There are lots of ways to find peer support. You could:

• see our peer support directory
• ask your local Mind about peer support
• try an online peer support community like Elefriends (also see our information about staying safe online).

Although it can sometimes be triggering, going online and talking to people who also have BPD is useful, supportive and reassuring that I really am not alone.

Look after your physical health

Looking after your physical health can make a difference to how you feel emotionally. For example, it can help to:

• Try to get enough sleep. Sleep can help give you the energy to cope with difficult feelings and experiences. (See our pages on coping with sleep problems for more information.)

• Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. (See our pages on food and mood for more information.)

• Try to do some physical activity. Exercise can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing. (See our pages on physical activity for more information.)

• Spend time outside. Spending time in green space can boost your wellbeing. (See our pages on ecotherapy for more information.)

• Avoid drugs and alcohol. While you might want to use drugs or alcohol to cope with difficult feelings, in the long run they can make you feel a lot worse and can prevent you from dealing with any underlying problems that the drug or alcohol use may have been masking. (See our pages on recreational drugs and alcohol for more information).

Find specialist support for abuse or bullying If you’ve experienced other issues that have contributed to your problems, such as abuse or bullying, it could be helpful to explore the help out there for these too. If you have been abused in childhood, the National Association for People Abused in Childhood is there to support you, and our pages on abuse and PTSD useful contacts list many more organisations that could help.

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This information was published in January 2018. We will revise it in 2021.