Supporting ourselves and each other
Everyone needs to both give and receive support in a peer support group. But it may be difficult for people to get the balance right. Get some tips on this page.
Giving too much support and not seeking support
Some people may find that they naturally take on a supporting role but have difficulty asking for support when they need it. This could lead to them feeling burnt out and unsupported.
It may be helpful to talk on a regular basis in the group about what everyone likes to do to look after themselves. You could encourage the group to think about what it means to take responsibility for our own wellbeing, how to ask for support when we need it and what that may look like in practice. It may be that there are some people who need occasional one-to-one support.
Sharing too much information too soon
Some people may feel pressure to talk about personal experiences before they are ready. Equally, some might find themselves oversharing due to the novelty of being in a group of people who are listening. Either way, it’s possible for people to feel uncomfortable, distressed or exposed after doing this.
The group agreement and the peer support values can help with this. One of your ground rules could reflect the ‘choice and control’ value, making it clear that no one needs to share anything they don’t want to. If someone has shared a lot about their personal experiences during a session, it can help to take them to one side afterwards and check if they’re okay.
Hearing about difficult experiences can be upsetting
Some people may find that listening to the difficult experiences of others leads them to become distressed themselves – particularly if they share some things in common. This is an important part of the safety of peer support spaces. Feeling upset is understandable and an appropriate response to many situations.
However, there can be times when it’s difficult to hear certain things or to contain the feelings that arise.
It’s helpful to have a few ideas for things to do in this situation. These might include:
- Distraction exercises (whether physical or mental)
- Inviting the group to think of strategies
- Taking a break for a cup of tea
It can help to be flexible about your finish time – booking the room for an hour longer than you need and being prepared to stay and talk to someone who is distressed. This may have financial implications.
Another issue to think about is that someone may wish to talk about feeling suicidal or wishing to self-harm. You might want to think about this in advance and agree as a group on how to deal with this situation should it arise. You may wish to put certain boundaries to this kind of conversation. For example, deciding that talking about methods of suicide or self-harm may not be appropriate in this environment.
As a project, you will also need to have a safeguarding approach in place for dealing with situations where there is risk of suicide, self-harm or harm to someone else. The facilitator or group members will also need to have access to support for debriefing after a session in which difficult issues are discussed, and to have someone to check out their assessment of the risk.
Safeguarding
Safeguarding means protecting people’s health, wellbeing and human rights, and enabling them to live free from harm, abuse and neglect.
There may be times where you aren't sure what action you should take. Or you may need guidance about keeping everybody safe. For guidance and support, first contact your supervisor, line manager or relevant local organisation for advice. You can contact your local authority Safeguarding Adults Board, which is the local lead for safeguarding arrangements for adults with care and support needs.