How to cope with anger

Explains anger, giving practical suggestions for what you can do and where you can go for support. Also includes advice for friends and family.

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What does anger feel like?

Anger feels different for everyone. You might experience some of the things listed below, and you might also have other experiences or difficulties that aren't listed here.

Effects on your body

a churning feeling in your stomach
tightness in your chest
an increased and rapid heartbeat
legs go weak
tense muscles
you feel hot
you have an urge to go to the toilet
sweating, especially your palms
a pounding head
shaking or trembling
dizziness

Effects on your mind

feeling tense, nervous or unable to relax
feeling guilty
feeling resentful towards other people or situations
you are easily irritated
'red mist' comes down on you
feeling humiliated

Recognising these signs gives you the chance to think about how you want to react to a situation before doing anything. This can be difficult in the heat of the moment, but the earlier you notice how you're feeling, the easier it can be to choose how to express and manage your anger.

"The best advice I was given was to stop briefly once I am angry to ask myself what painful emotion I am feeling in the situation where I became angry. A bit of compassion for my own pain often stops me from taking that pain out on others."