Managing your feelings about changes to lockdown – for young people

You may have felt safer from the virus during full lockdown, and now feel afraid that the changes could cause a rise in infections, or that lockdown could be tightened again.

Or you may have enjoyed schools being closed and now feel worried about returning. This could be because you’ve felt less anxious during lockdown, or that lockdown made you feel safer from bullying. Maybe you’re feeling relaxed after a break from studying and are now worried about the academic pressure to catch up.

You may have also felt closer to your family, neighbours or local community during lockdown, or had better housing during this time, and don’t want this to end.

You may be feeling sad because you’re missing your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend or family, and still don’t know when you’ll be able to see them properly.

Or because you’re missing important milestones and don’t know if they’ll be rearranged. For example, 18^th birthday celebrations, proms, or other ‘leaving school’ celebrations.

Maybe you’re feeling low because you’re missing out on everyday things like parties and sport, or exciting plans like travelling or work experience. Or feel sad that even when you do go back to school, college, university, or work, it’s unlikely that you’ll get to do any fun stuff anyway.

You may also feel low or lacking in purpose because you don’t know when you can go back to work, or when school will start for you.

You may be feeling worn down if you’re not getting on with your family or the people you live with, and don’t know when you can have a break from them.

Or you may have been hiding parts of your identity from them, like your sexuality or faith, and want to be yourself again.

Perhaps you’re feeling frustrated because of the pressure to keep studying at home, and to motivate yourself, when there’s no definite end in sight.

You may feel that other people have more freedom than you, if your household is shielding or you live somewhere with tighter restrictions. Or you may feel that other people aren’t following social distancing rules, especially now the rules are beginning to change.

Perhaps you’re feeling pressure from friends to meet up and feel confused about what’s allowed. Or you may be trying to meet friends while social distancing and finding there’s not much to do, or they’re not sticking to the rules.

You may be scared or upset because someone you care about has to go back to work where they feel unsafe. Or you may feel worried about going back to school or college yourself. For example, you may feel that it will be difficult to socially distance, or that other people won’t follow the rules.

Perhaps you’re worried about how coronavirus will affect your education, career or other parts of your future. For example, you might be worried that college or university won’t be what you hoped for, or that you’re going to miss out on things.

Or you may be feeling anxious about finding your relationships have changed during lockdown, like with your friends, girlfriend or boyfriend.

You may be feeling annoyed because the government guidance for young people isn’t clear. Or feeling powerless, like you don’t have a say in what’s going on.

You may be feeling cheated because you’re not able to sit important exams, or feel like you’re missing out on important time with teachers.

Maybe your mental health support has had to change during lockdown. Or you’re frustrated because lockdown has caused you to take steps back in your recovery.

Or your family might be going through difficult money issues, and you may feel pressure to provide support, or fear that you’ll lose your independence.

You may have gone through something very stressful, frightening or upsetting during lockdown. For example, if you’ve had to stay somewhere that wasn’t a safe place for you.

Or you may be recovering from coronavirus or helping a family member to get better. Or someone you love may have died during this time, and you’re afraid to lose anyone else.

There are things you can do to help you understand and accept how you’re feeling, like:

• Use an emotions wheel to help name feelings that are hard to pinpoint.
• Expect to feel weird about re-joining the outside world. If you have a choice, try to re-enter slowly, especially if you’ve been self-isolating.
• Talk to someone you trust about what ‘normal’ looks like for you right now, to help you accept what is happening. This could be a parent or carer, a friend, or a helpline such as Childline.
• Write, draw, run, or do something else that will give you space to feel everything you’re currently feeling. Even the really unhappy, angry stuff.
• Visit our page on understanding my feelings if you’re still struggling to understand how you’re feeling.

"I'm having issues in my anger management, finding it very easy to get angry and stressed."

Spending time with friends and family, whether in person or not, can help us feel better and boost our wellbeing. You could:

• Invest time in the relationships you want to grow and build – those which you rely on for support as well as fun.
• Share how you feel with someone you trust – this can help strengthen your friendship as well as giving you both a chance to support each other.
• Wear a mask in a design that you like, or design your own, to help you feel more comfortable when you meet your friends.
• Choose an activity that you can play outside whilst distancing, like football, catch, or cycling. This could help you feel connected while been physically spaced out, so that social distancing doesn’t feel as weird.
• Connect with others who understand – for example, you could try The Mix's community message boards.

"Find other people your age you can talk to. It really helps because we’re going through the same thing."

When things get tough, there are quick things you can try to reduce worry and panic, like:

• A ‘grounding’ activity to stop your thoughts spinning out of control. Sit back and focus on what’s going on around you. Try and name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
• Find a distraction that takes your mind off things, like going for a walk, listening to happy music or talking to someone. These can help you when you notice you’re worrying about the past or future.
• Find a mindfulness activity to help you stay in the moment. You could try this breathing exercise – breathe in through your nose for four counts, hold it for two counts, and breathe out through your mouth for seven counts. If you repeat this, it can slow your breath and help keep you calm.
• Ask for support from someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or helpline like Childline or The Mix.
• Find more information on anxiety and tips on how to cope on YoungMinds website.

"Keep yourself busy, doing things you love and things that makes you proud of yourself for finishing."

Taking small steps to recognise what’s in your control right now, and what you can do to plan ahead, can help you feel more settled:

• Make a timetable of your day or week, making sure you include fun or relaxing activities. This can help you plan ahead, and feel in more control of your near future.
• Write down your worries before bed and go over them in the morning. This can help you work out what no longer needs your attention, what things you can do to make yourself feel better, and what is out of your control.
• Look up virtual tours or pictures of your future school or college online, if you’re moving to somewhere new. This will help you know what to expect so you can start feeling excited.
• Be involved in making decisions about how you’re keeping safe, like asking to choose the hand soap or shower gel you use, or picking your own face mask.

"I’ve now made my own routine to prepare for 6^th form college and have become more independent. I’ve realised I’m more capable of making my own decisions without pressure from my school."

Looking after your physical wellbeing can have a big impact on your mental health, too.

There are simple things you can try to look after your physical health, like:

• Have a good bedtime and sleep routine. For example, have time away from a screen before you go to bed and limit the amount of caffeine you drink.
• Eat healthily and stay active – this will look after both your body and mind and help your thoughts to become clearer.
• Make sure you still follow guidance from the NHS on washing your hands and social distancing.
• Be kind to yourself if you forget to do something, or you make a mistake. This is new for everyone and all we can do is try our best.

"Take care of your basic needs - try to eat and drink regularly, brush teeth, have a shower."