Managing your feelings about changes to lockdown – for young people

You may have felt safer from the virus during full lockdown, and now feel afraid that the changes could cause a rise in infections, or that lockdown could be tightened again.

Or you may have enjoyed schools being closed and now feel worried about returning. This could be because you’ve felt less anxious during lockdown, or that lockdown made you feel safer from bullying. Maybe you’re feeling relaxed after a break from studying and are now worried about the pressure of returning to your studies.

You may have also felt closer to your family, neighbours or local community during lockdown, or had better housing during this time, and don’t want this to end.

You may be feeling sad because you’re missing your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend or family, and still don’t know when you’ll be able to do normal things together. 

Or because you’re missing important milestones, like 18^th birthday celebrations, and don’t know if they’ll be rearranged.

Maybe you’re feeling low because you’re missing out on everyday things like parties and sport, or exciting plans like travelling or work experience. Or feel sad that when you're back in school, college, university, or work, you won't get to do much fun stuff anyway.

You may also feel low or lacking in purpose because you're waiting to go back to school or work.

You may be feeling worn down if you’re not getting on with your family or the people you live with, and want to have a break from them.

Or you may have been hiding parts of your identity from them, like your sexuality or faith, and want to be yourself again.

You may feel that other people have more freedom than you, if your household is shielding or you live somewhere with tighter restrictions. Or you may feel that other people aren’t following social distancing rules, especially now the rules are changing. 

Perhaps you’re feeling pressure from friends to meet up and feel confused about what’s allowed. Or you may be trying to meet friends while social distancing and finding there’s not much to do, or they’re not sticking to the rules.

You may be scared or upset because someone you care about has to go back to work where they feel unsafe. Or you may feel worried about going back to school or college yourself. For example, you may feel that it will be difficult to socially distance, or that other people won’t follow the rules.

You may have existing difficulties around coping with germs or hygiene, which coronavirus and social distancing is making worse.

Perhaps you’re worried about how coronavirus will affect your education, career or other parts of your future. For example, you might be worried that college or university won’t be what you hoped for, or that you’re going to miss out on things.

Or you may be feeling anxious about finding your relationships have changed during lockdown, like with your friends, girlfriend or boyfriend.

"I’m worried that my anxiety and worries about germs will get worse once I go to college."

You may be feeling annoyed because the government guidance for young people isn’t clear. Or feeling powerless, like you don’t have a say in what’s going on.

You may be feeling cheated because you haven’t been able to sit important exams and determine your own grades, or feel like you’ve missed out on important time with teachers.  

Maybe your mental health support has had to change during lockdown. Or you’re frustrated because lockdown has caused you to take steps back in your recovery.

Or your family might be going through difficult money issues, and you may feel pressure to provide support, or fear that you’ll lose your independence.

You may have gone through something very stressful, frightening or upsetting during lockdown. For example, if you’ve had to stay somewhere that wasn’t a safe place for you.

Or you may be recovering from coronavirus or helping a family member to get better. Or someone you love may have died during this time, and you’re afraid to lose anyone else.

There are things you can do to help you understand and accept how you’re feeling, like:

• Use an emotions wheel to help name feelings that are hard to pinpoint.
• Expect to feel weird about re-joining the outside world. If you have a choice, try to re-enter slowly, especially if you’ve been self-isolating.
• Talk to someone you trust about what ‘normal’ looks like for you right now, to help you accept what is happening. This could be a parent or carer, a friend, or a helpline such as Childline.
• Write, draw, run, or do something else that will give you space to feel everything you’re currently feeling. Even the really unhappy, angry stuff.
• Recognise and challenge unkind or unhelpful thoughts. Try to do this by talking to yourself as you would to a good friend. You could ask yourself: ‘How might someone else see this?’, ‘Is there anything that suggests this might not happen?’, or ‘What would I say to a friend who was thinking this?’ Answering these questions may help you to think more rationally and calmly.
• Visit our page on understanding my feelings if you’re still struggling to understand how you’re feeling.

"Take time to reflect... be honest with how you think you’re managing lockdown, what strategies have worked for you in the past and how could you adapt them."

Spending time with friends and family, whether in person or not, can help us feel better and boost our wellbeing. You could:

• Invest time in the relationships you want to grow and build – those which you rely on for support as well as fun.
• Share how you feel with someone you trust – this can help strengthen your friendship as well as giving you both a chance to support each other.
• Wear a mask in a design that you like, or design your own, to help you feel more comfortable when you meet your friends.
• Choose an activity that you can play outside whilst distancing, like football, catch, or cycling. This could help you feel connected while been physically spaced out, so that social distancing doesn’t feel as weird.
• Connect with others who understand – for example, you could try The Mix's community message boards.

"Find other people your age you can talk to. It really helps because we’re going through the same thing."

When things get tough, there are quick things you can try to reduce worry and panic, like:

• A ‘grounding’ activity to stop your thoughts spinning out of control. Sit back and focus on what’s going on around you. Try and name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
• Find a distraction that takes your mind off things, like going for a walk, listening to happy music or talking to someone. These can help you when you notice you’re worrying about the past or future.
• Find a mindfulness activity to help you stay in the moment. You could try this breathing exercise – breathe in through your nose for four counts, hold it for two counts, and breathe out through your mouth for seven counts. If you repeat this, it can slow your breath and help keep you calm.
• Ask for support from someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or helpline like Childline or The Mix.
• Find more information on anxiety and tips on how to cope on YoungMinds website.

"Keep yourself busy, doing things you love and things that makes you proud of yourself for finishing."

Taking small steps to recognise what’s in your control right now, and what you can do to plan ahead, can help you feel more settled:

• Make a timetable of your day or week, making sure you include fun or relaxing activities. This can help you plan ahead, and feel in more control of your near future, especially until you go back to school.
• Write down your worries before bed and go over them in the morning. This can help you work out what no longer needs your attention, what things you can do to make yourself feel better, and what is out of your control.
• Be involved in making decisions about how you’re keeping safe, like asking to choose the hand soap or shower gel you use, or picking your own face mask.

"I’ve now made my own routine to prepare for 6^th form college and have become more independent. I’ve realised I’m more capable of making my own decisions without pressure from my school."

Looking after your physical wellbeing can have a big impact on your mental health, too.

There are simple things you can try to look after your physical health, like:

• Have a good bedtime and sleep routine. For example, have time away from a screen before you go to bed and limit the amount of caffeine you drink.
• Eat healthily and stay active – this will look after both your body and mind and help your thoughts to become clearer.
• Make sure you still follow guidance from the government and NHS on washing your hands, wearing a mask and social distancing.
• Be kind to yourself if you forget to do something, or you make a mistake. This is new for everyone and all we can do is try our best.

"Take care of your basic needs - try to eat and drink regularly, brush teeth, have a shower."

For GCSE and A-level exams, and other qualifications like BTECs, you'll be able to accept either your calculated grades, or the grades your teachers predicted for you – whichever are higher.   

The government wants you to be able to move on to whatever you want the next stage of your life to be in autumn, whether that's further education, apprenticeships, or higher education. This means they'll be supporting you to do this as much as they can, by changing some of the normal rules. 

It’s not yet clear how universities will cope with the change in grades now they’ve already started accepting offers, but we’ll update this information when we know more.  

We know this is a difficult and stressful time for lots of young people. If you're struggling with your feelings and need to talk, you can text ‘Shout’ to 85258.

"One thing to remind ourselves is that what's happening is beyond our control right now."

Secondary schools, sixth forms and colleges are back open from September to all pupils. But you may notice some changes when you arrive. 

There may be new ways of getting around campus, smaller class sizes, and more checkpoints to use hand sanitiser or wash your hands. You may also be asked to wear a mask in areas where there's lots of students. Your teachers will be able to explain more to you. 

If you’re nervous or worried about going back, you can talk to your parent or carer, or a teacher, about how you’re feeling.

You can also try to prepare as much as you can before you go back, like planning in some fun or relaxing activities to look forward to. It’s important to be kind to yourself.

You should have been contacted to talk about ways you can get support now your school or college is opening again.

If you haven't, talk to your parent or carer first if you feel able to. Otherwise, contact your School Counsellor or Chaplain.

If you’ve been caring for someone during the pandemic, going back to school or college may feel like a stressful or scary time.

You might be worried about keeping up with your studies while you’re still a carer, or about how to keep the person you're caring for safe if they're shielding. 

The best thing you can do is talk to your teachers and let them know what's going on for you. You can then work out with them how they can best support you.

You could look up virtual tours or pictures of your future school, college or university online, if you’re moving to somewhere new.

This will help you know what to expect so you can start feeling excited.

You may see a break from work as a good chance to relax and take up a hobby or some training, but it may also cause you worries around money, security and the future. 

You may find you have less structure to your day, less motivation to do anything, or feel more lonely without the people you work with. Or you may have new responsibilities that are taking up lots of your time instead.

To look after yourself during this time, you could:

• Set up a new routine, so you can rely on doing something at set times.
• Keep in contact with your friends from work, sending them a message or arranging a socially-distanced meet-up.
• Think about a goal you could set yourself, such as learning something new or setting up an online movie night with others. 
• Create a budget, if you’re worried about money and you have bills to pay.
• Ask your employer for wellbeing check-ins if you're on furlough. So you can talk about how you’re doing, and stay involved in team catch-ups and updates.

If you’ve lost your job, Citizen’s Advice has information to support you here.