Support and self-care tips for carers

Getting the right support can make a big difference to you and the person you care for. Find out more about the help available for carers. And what you can do to look after your physical and mental health.

Judgment-free services are so vital as they provide a lifeline when you need it most.

Money and benefits for carers

There are benefits available to help you and the person you care for. They can help pay for daily living costs and medical equipment.

The financial support you can get will depend on things like:

• Whether you work or not

• How much time you spend caring

• How much support the person you are caring for needs

• What you need support for

• Whether you have a health condition as well

• What other benefits you get

• How much money you have saved

• Whether you are over pension age

Carers UK has more information on money and benefits available for carers.

Even with benefits, you may still not have enough money. This can have a big impact on your mental health. Our information on money and mental health might be helpful. It includes tips for organising your money and what to do if you can't afford bills or food.

Social care support for carers

Social services may be able to help you and the person you care for. The support they offer will depend on your needs.

It can include things like training, equipment and wellbeing support for you.

The person you care for might be able to get home adaptations, access to day centres or other types of care.

You will need to have an assessment to see what support you can get.

For carers, this is a carer's assessment.

For the person you're caring for, this is a needs assessment.

The assessment is free. They should also assess whether you need financial support to help with any costs.

Support for carers to take a break

There may be times when you need to take a break. This might be a one-off break to do something like go on holiday. Or a regular break from caring each week.

There are services that can do your caring duties for you while you're away. This is called ‘respite care’.

You might be able to get low cost or free respite care if you meet certain criteria. This might be from social services or a charity. You can also pay for respite care.

Carers UK has more information on respite care.

Healthcare support for carers

You can get support to help you understand how to take care of someone. And how to help them manage their condition.

Your GP can tell you whether you are entitled to things like free prescriptions or flu jabs. They can also refer you to any local support or information that might be helpful.

You can also talk to health professionals involved in the care of the person you are supporting. This might include occupational therapists, nurses and health visitors. They can give you advice on care.

Confidentiality and forced treatment

Healthcare professionals need to keep patient information confidential. This means they can only share information with you if the person you care for says it's OK.

You can't force someone to have treatment. There are only some situations where a person can be treated without their consent.

See our pages on the Mental Capacity Act for more information.

Eventually I signed up for the carers' network and they said we can do things like making sure you get a flu jab. Because my health needs to be good to look after him.

Support for carers at work

If you have another job, as well as caring, there are laws that can protect and help you. If you're an employee, you have a right to time off for caring. And you have a right to request flexible working arrangements to help with caring.

Some employers may give you extra benefits too. Check your contract and workplace policies.

You might not get these benefits if you are self-employed or on a zero-hours contract. Carers UK has more information on your rights in work.

We also have information on work and mental health that might be helpful.

When I was at university, they were really supportive. I had to come home for a month to care for my mum and they gave me extensions.

Support for carers in education

If you're in education or training, you may be able to get support as a carer. This could include financial support. Or help to manage your workload and deadlines. Speak to your education provider about the support you can get.

UCAS has more information on caring responsibilities for university students and support for carers taking apprenticeships.

Mental health support for carers

Caring for someone else can affect your mental health. This can make it harder to look after someone else. But there is support available for you.

Different kinds of support work for different people. You can use the Hub of Hope to search for online, in person and phone support services.

You can also get support from:

Your GP

Speaking to a GP about how you are feeling is often the first step in getting mental health support. They can make referrals to local services and prescribe some medications. Our page on how to get help from your GP has more information.

Talking therapy

Talking therapy gives you a space to talk about and process your feelings. This will be done with a trained professional. There are lots of different kinds of therapy. You can get it through the NHS or pay for it privately.

Different therapy is available in different areas. And waiting lists can vary. Our pages on talking therapy have more information.

Peer support

Peer support is when people with similar experiences come together to support each other. There's lots of peer support available for carers. It can be online or in person.

Peer support might be run by local groups, charities or online communities. Our peer support page has more information. Carers UK has a directory of local support services, including carers groups.

Helplines

Helpline staff are trained to listen without judgement. We have a list of mental health helplines. We've also listed some useful contacts for carers at the end of this page.

Our pages on seeking help for a mental health problem have more information too.

Support from my GP, local NHS services, wellbeing charities and peer groups was invaluable. It gave me the space to prioritise my own wellbeing and mental health - while balancing my caring, family and work responsibilities.

Self-care tips for carers

It can be hard to look after yourself as a carer. You might not have much time for yourself. Or you might think that your wellbeing isn't as important as the person you care for.

But if you're not feeling OK, it's harder to care for someone else. Looking after yourself is important for them, as well as for you.

These tips might help you take a moment to look after yourself. They might not all work and they might not always be possible. But even small things can make a big difference.

Find ways to stay organised

Staying organised can help you feel more in control. But be kind to yourself. Everyone forgets things sometimes.

Different people find different things helpful for organising tasks. But you could try:

• Having a calendar for important appointments or events

• Keeping important information in clearly labelled files

• Colour coding information to make it easier to see or find

• Keeping medications in one place

• Using apps or technology to manage caring, like these helpful devices listed on the Carers UK website

• Having a space to write down questions to ask professionals as you think of them

• Setting timers, alarms or reminders

• Writing down your regular routine

The person you care for might be able to help with some of these tasks.

Tell someone else where the information is. For example, a friend, family member or paid worker. This will be useful if you need help with caring.

Connect with others

Connecting with other people can help you feel less alone.

You can talk to others about how caring makes you feel. But it can also help to talk about other things. You can connect with people in lots of different ways.

You could try:

• Talking to someone you trust, such as a family member, friend or neighbour

• Joining a support group for carers - find a list of support groups on the Carers UK website

• Contacting the Carers UK helpline

• Talking to others on the Carers UK forum

• Volunteering - Doit Life has information on volunteer opportunities across the UK

• Talking with people online about shared hobbies or for support with caring

Some of these options may not feel right for you. Or you might feel like you have nobody to connect with. If you're feeling lonely, our pages on loneliness might help.

I'm one of those people who insist on being incredibly independent. But when I told people what was going on they were so supportive and it was an enormous source of help.

Take a break if you can

It can be very hard to find time for yourself when you're a carer. Particularly if you don't have anyone else to help you. But expert carers organisations say that finding any time you can for yourself can be very helpful.

You may be able to get money or support to help you take a break. Carers UK has more information on the support available to take a break.

You may want to use a break to catch up on other responsibilities that aren't caring. But, if you can, it might help to do something relaxing in your break.

What you can do might depend on the time you have. Some of these ideas might be helpful:

• If you only have a few minutes. You could try some relaxation exercises. Or listening to a song that makes you feel calm.

• If you have an hour. You could do something creative, watch some TV, do some exercise or read.

• If you have a day or more. Think about things that you like to do, rather than what you need to do, and try to fit some of these in. Allow yourself to spend time resting or catching up on sleep if you need to.

It isn't selfish to need your own time. You're allowed to take care of yourself. It's important.

Be kind to yourself

As a carer you might put a lot of pressure on yourself to do things right. Or blame yourself if things aren't going well. You might compare your life to others, including other carers, and feel upset. If the person you care for doesn't appreciate your support, that can make you feel worse.

Try to be kind to yourself. It might help to:

• Remind yourself of the things you're good at

• Write down things you like about yourself

• Challenge difficult thoughts you have about yourself

Remember to congratulate yourself or celebrate when something goes well. Our tips to improve your self-esteem have more ideas that could help.

Look after your physical health

Caring can put a strain on our bodies. And looking after our physical health can help our mental health.

It can help to:

• Look after your body. You might spend a lot of time on your feet. Or do things like lifting. This can wear our bodies out. Carers UK has more on looking after your body as a carer. This includes information on how to lift properly and protect your back.

• Manage your sleep. You might need to get up a lot in the night. Or you might find it hard to sleep because of anxiety, stress and worry. We have some information on sleep problems that might be helpful.

• Eat well. Eating enough food is important for our energy levels and wellbeing. But you might not have time to cook. And what you eat might be affected by what the person you care for eats. Our food and mental health page has more on how food can make us feel. And how to manage food when we're feeling low.

It might not always be possible to do these things. If you're finding it hard to sleep, eat or look after your body, there is support available. You could talk to your GP about your health. Or you could ask for a carer's assessment from social services.

Video: Caring for myself so I can care for my mum

Support to stop being a carer

You can't be forced to be a carer. There are a lot of reasons why you might need to stop. For example:

• The person you're caring for needs a kind of care you can't provide

• Your own health makes it hard for you to continue caring

• Changes in your life, like having children or getting a new job

• A breakdown in the relationship between you and the person you care for

• You're being abused by the person you care for

Stopping being a carer can be hard. It might be very emotional. The person you're caring for might find it hard to understand why you have to stop.

If you can, it can help to talk to the person you're caring for about why you have to stop. You can discuss other options that might work for them.

These options could include:

• Someone else taking over caring responsibilities

• Getting support from social services through a needs assessment

• Support from charities or local organisations

• Paying for care

There might be some situations where you can't stop completely, like if the person you care for is your child. But there is still support available. See our useful contacts below for organisations that can help.

I cared for my mother until my late 20s, after which it became almost impossible to care for her as she had regressed and I had small children of my own. For their sake I had to make the difficult decision to stop.

Abuse and caring

It can be hard to spot the signs of abuse when you care for someone. Some signs of abuse are things that might happen in caring because of certain health conditions. For example, someone with dementia might try and hurt you if they're very confused.

You might worry about what will happen to the person you're caring for if you tell someone about the abuse. Or you might have told someone before and not been helped.

But no one should be put at risk of harm.

Whether someone is trying to hurt you on purpose or not, you deserve support.

We have information on where to get support for different types of abuse.

The NHS has information on how to deal with challenging behaviour in adults.

Useful contacts

These organisations may be able to support you and the person you care for.

Other organisations