Tips to improve your self-esteem

If you struggle with low self-esteem, it can feel as if making changes will be difficult. But there are things you can try.

This page has some ideas for small steps you can take to improve your self-esteem.

Different things may work at different times. And making progress can take time.

So try what you feel comfortable with and be patient with yourself.

If you are someone who is struggling with low self-esteem and you feel worthless, know that things can improve, you can feel better.

Try to recognise positives

Low self-esteem can make it hard to notice when things go well. You might feel like nothing ever goes right.

But learning to see when things do go well can help you feel better. You could try to:

• Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself. For example, you could celebrate getting outside for a walk or doing some tidying.

• Write a list of things you like about yourself. They don't have to be perfect. They can just be things that are OK. For example, a skill you've learnt, a way you help other people or an interest you have. Put this list somewhere you'll see it every day.

• Ask people to share what they like about you. They may recognise things that you don't think about yourself.

• Accept compliments. You could save them up to look over when you're feeling low or doubting yourself.

Be kind to yourself

• Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. You might automatically put yourself down. If you do this, try to think of reasons why your thought might not be true. The NHS Every Mind Matters website has some useful exercises to help you deal with unhelpful thoughts.

• Say positive things to yourself. Some people like to do this in front of a mirror. It can feel strange at first, but you may feel more comfortable the more you do it. It can help if you say things you can believe. For example, “I'm doing my best” or “My mistakes help me grow”. These are called ‘affirmations’. Over time they can help train your thoughts to be kinder.

• Treat yourself like you'd treat a friend. We all have strengths and weaknesses. If you’re being too hard on yourself, it can help to ask: “Would I speak to a friend like this?”

• Do something nice for yourself. For example, making your favourite meal. Or playing a game you enjoy.

Get to know yourself

• Find out what you like. It can be helpful to write what you do each day in a journal. Note how much you enjoy each thing and if you feel a sense of achievement. This can help you choose activities that make you feel good.

• Avoid comparing yourself to others. For example, it might help to limit how much time you spend on social media or online communities. What other people often choose to share about their lives isn't always the full picture. See our page on looking after your mental health online for more information.

• Practise saying no. Being assertive can be hard if you're not used to it. But agreeing to too many things to please others can be draining. It could help to pause and think about how you feel before agreeing to something.

In reality, no one's life is perfect and everyone has insecurities. It's important to remember this and not feel bad about yourself every time you see somebody post the ‘perfect’ selfie.

Set yourself a challenge

• Try volunteering. You might decide to volunteer your time for something you feel passionate about. For more information on volunteering, see the Doit Life website.

• Learn something new. You could try a new hobby or creative activity. Or reading a book about a new subject.

• Set small goals. This can help things feel more manageable. And give you a greater sense of achievement.

Going to a really good concert, play or film makes me feel better about life generally and gives me new perspectives.

Look after yourself

• Try to get enough sleep. Too little or too much sleep can have a negative impact on how you feel. See our pages on sleep problems for more information.

• Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference. Not just to your energy levels but also to your mood. See our pages on food and mental health for more information.

• Try to do some physical activity. Being active can help your mental wellbeing. Which may help improve your self-esteem. See our pages on physical activity, exercise and mental health for tips.

• Spend time outside. Being in green space can often help how you feel. See our pages on nature and mental health for more information.

• Practise mindfulness and meditation. You could start with some of our mindfulness exercises and tips.

• Avoid recreational drugs and alcohol. While these might feel like they help you cope in the short term, they can make you feel worse in the long run. And they can prevent you from dealing with underlying problems. See our pages on recreational drugs, alcohol and addiction for more information.

• Sign up to a self-help programme. You could use the Reading Well books scheme to find books to help with your self-esteem.

See our page on how to improve your mental wellbeing for more tips on looking after yourself.

Having a healing, nurturing massage therapy session makes me feel good about myself and that I am worth it.

Build a support network

• Talk to someone you trust. Having someone listen to you and show they care can help. If you can't open up to someone close to you, you could call a helpline to speak to someone anonymously. For example, you could call Samaritans on 116 123.

• Focus on positive relationships. Controlling who you spend time with might feel hard. But it can help to be around people who make you feel good about yourself if you can.

• Try peer support. Making connections with people who have similar or shared experiences can help. For example, online communities like Mind's Side by Side can be a good source of support. See our pages on peer support to find out more.

• Ask your GP about social prescribing. This can help you take part in social activities. It's based on what you enjoy doing. This could be an art class, a community gardening project or a befriending group.

If you're finding it hard to build a support network, you might find our information on loneliness helpful.

I talk to friends and family when I need to, exercise regularly and have learnt to be much more self-accepting of myself.

Try talking therapy

Talking therapy and counselling can help build your self-esteem. They can also help you find ways to cope with experiences that affect how you feel about yourself. Including underlying causes of your low self-esteem.

See our pages on talking therapy and counselling for more information.

Reach out to organisations that can help

There are organisations that can help with different elements of self-esteem. Like providing opportunities to connect with others, or tools to help you cope. Or someone to speak to when things are hard. They can all play a part.

See our useful contacts below for some ideas you can try.

Useful contacts for self-esteem

If low self-esteem is affecting your mental health, Mind has services that can help.

Other organisations