Understanding low self-esteem

We all have times when we feel less confident about ourselves. But sometimes low self-esteem can get in the way of our daily life. Or affect our mental health.

If you're struggling with your self-esteem, we're here to help.

I thought I was worthless. Basically I was the least important on my list.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we feel about and value ourselves.

It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves. These can feel difficult to change. We might also think of this as self-confidence.

Your self-esteem can affect whether you:

• Value and like yourself as a person
• Feel able to make decisions and assert yourself
• Recognise your strengths
• Try new or difficult things
• Show kindness towards yourself
• Move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly
• Take the time you need for yourself
• Believe you matter and are good enough
• Feel you deserve happiness

I  didn’t believe I deserved my husband. I thought that my kids deserved a better mother and that anything good that came my way was luck or maybe a mistake.

What causes low self-esteem?

The things that affect self-esteem are different for everyone. Your self-esteem might change suddenly. Or you might have had low self-esteem for a while.

There are lots of things in life that may contribute to low self-esteem. For example:

• Abuse or bullying, either recently or when you were younger
• Stigma or discrimination, including racism
• Mental health problems
• Work problems, such as losing your job or having trouble finding work
• Student life problems, such as difficulties with your course or struggling socially during your studies
• Money or housing problems, such as not being able to afford good quality housing
• Relationship problems, separation or divorce
• Body image worries
• Social pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, such as through social media

You might have had some of these experiences. And you might have had difficulties that aren't listed here. Or there might not be one specific cause.

I thought self-hatred was normal. Everyone wakes up every day, looks in the mirror and thinks ‘yeah, I hate that bit about me’, right?

Is low self-esteem a mental health problem?

Low self-esteem isn't a mental health problem in itself. But mental health and self-esteem can be closely linked.

Some of the signs of low self-esteem can also be signs of a mental health problem. Especially if they last for a long time. Or if they affect your daily life.

For example, if you’re feeling:

• Very down or hopeless
• Worthless or like you hate yourself
• As if you’re to blame for lots of things
• Unable to stop worrying
• Very anxious or nervous in social situations

Having a mental health problem could also cause you to have low self-esteem. And it might feel harder to take steps to improve your self-esteem if you struggle with your mental health.

Find out how to seek help for a mental health problem.

If you're struggling with low self-esteem see our page on tips to improve your self-esteem for ideas that might help.