How to help someone with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

It can be really hard to see someone you care about experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex PTSD. But there are things you can do to support them. 

If you know someone experiencing PTSD, my advice would be to listen, not to judge, and to be there. If someone with PTSD has spoken to you about how they feel, they have made a huge step.

Listen to them

If you feel able to, you could help by:

• Giving them time to talk at their own pace – it's important not to pressure them
• Allowing them to be upset about what's happened
• Not making assumptions about how they feel right now, or how they felt in the past
• Not dismissing their experiences. Don't say things like "it could have been worse". Try not to criticise the decisions they made at the time.

Try not to force them to talk in detail about what they went through. They might not be able to talk about it. Or they might not want to tell you. You can still be supportive without knowing all the details. 

Try not to judge

You might not understand why someone can't seem to 'move on'. You might have experienced similar trauma to them and not have PTSD. But this doesn't mean they're over-reacting.

Everyone responds to trauma differently. It's important not to put pressure on them to get better without the time and support they need.

Learn their triggers

It might help to talk about what things trigger their PTSD symptoms. This will be different for everyone and might not be obvious. So try not to make assumptions.

Some people will want to avoid their triggers and some people might want to try and face them. Understanding their triggers and what they want to do about them could help you to support them.

Plan ahead for difficult times

It can be helpful to talk about what support someone might need when they're unwell or in crisis. It's usually helpful to have this conversation on days when they're feeling well. You could:

• Encourage them to write a crisis plan
• Talk about symptoms you can support with or look out for
• Plan how to cope with triggers

This can help them manage in times when they're unwell. Make sure you think about your limits as well. Be realistic about the support you can give. It's important to look after yourself too.

For more information see our pages on planning for a crisis, helping someone else seek help and advocacy.

Support during flashbacks

A flashback is when someone relives parts of a traumatic event. Or they feel as if it's happening to them right now.

It can be hard to know how to help when a flashback happens. But you don't need special training to support someone. It could help if you:

• Try to stay calm
• Gently tell them that they're having a flashback
• Don't make any sudden movements
• Encourage them to breathe slowly and deeply
• Encourage them to describe something near them. This can help ground them in the present. 

There's more about flashbacks in our page on symptoms of PTSD. And our page on self-care for PTSD has tips for coping with flashbacks. 

Respect their personal space

People who experience PTSD might feel jumpy or on edge. They may be easily startled or feel they need to always watch out for danger. It can help if you:

• Avoid crowding the person
• Don't touch or hug them without permission
• Try not to startle or surprise them

Look out for warning signs

You might see changes in the person you want to support. For example:

• A change in their mood. Like often feeling low, anxious, upset, angry or irritated.
• A change in performance at work. Like being late or missing deadlines.
• A change in energy levels. Like extreme alertness or a lack of concentration.

If you notice these sorts of changes, you could ask them how they're feeling. This might encourage them to open up.

Help them to find support

If they want you to, you could help the person to find support. You could explore options together or help them contact support services.

Try not to make them feel pressured into support. And listen to what they would find most helpful.

Some people with PTSD self-harm and feel suicidal. It can be hard to know how to support people who feel this way. Our pages on self-harm and suicidal thoughts might be helpful. 

My family were amazing and so understanding when I spoke up and reached out for help. They put me in contact with a local Mind, who then referred me to one of their counsellors who lived not too far from me.

Look after your own mental health

It's important to remember that your mental health matters too. Our information on coping while caring for someone else might help if you're finding it hard.

Supporting someone through trauma can also cause PTSD. If you start to experience the symptoms, it might help to try some of the tips on our self-care for PTSD page.

You can also talk to your GP about how you're feeling. And ask for treatment and support.