Helping yourself with hoarding

Living with hoarding problems can be difficult. But there are things you can do to help yourself cope. 

Not everything might work for you. It's ok if you need to try a few things before you find what works best.

I started to try to declutter, and it really wasn't easy. I spent days crying, trying to find something that I could part with to get the ball rolling. Eventually I managed to make a start, and it felt great. The more floor I could see the better I felt.

Starting to manage your hoarding

It's not unusual to feel overwhelmed if you're trying to cope with a hoarding problem. You might feel like helping yourself will be too hard or take too long.

If you don't know where to start, taking small steps can help you make good progress. For example:

• Set yourself small goals. Try something like throwing away 1 thing per day.
• Set a timer and try to tidy 1 area. Or you could limit the time in other ways, like listening to a set number of songs.
• Make a plan. For example, you might schedule 1 hour a week for tidying. Try to plan where your items will go, such as in the bin or as a donation. As soon as possible, try to make sure they go exactly where you planned.
• Cancel things like magazine subscriptions or put up a 'no junk mail' sign. This might help to stop new things coming into your home.
• Come up with some rules. Some people use the rule that if they haven't used an item in the last year, they'll get rid of it. Different rules work for different people, but these can help to make decisions easier.
• Explore new activities that don't involve buying or saving things. This could be going for a walk, watching a film or visiting a museum. You could also talk to people close to you about gift giving. Try to agree on ways of giving gifts that don't involve physical objects, like having a meal out.

Staying motivated

You might have been trying to manage your hoarding problem for a while, but sometimes feel like you're getting nowhere. Because of this, you may find it difficult to stay motivated.

Some of these tips might help you keep motivated and notice how far you've come.

• Find ways to track your progress. You could try taking before-and-after pictures of the space you've decided to clean. This can help you see how much progress you've made.
• Make things easier for yourself. This might include using a litter-picking tool to pick things up without touching them. Or start with an area you find easier to clear.
• Find support for related issues. If you're experiencing other issues alongside hoarding, it might help if you look into support for these. This could take some pressure off you. You might be able to find help in our pages on money and mental health and housing and mental health. Or our pages on mental health problems including depression, OCD and trauma.
• Celebrate your wins. Try going out with friends or watching a TV show you like when you've achieved any goals – no matter how small they may seem.
• Ask for help. You may have someone close to you who could help you. Sometimes just having someone to talk to before or after you clear can feel useful.
• Get practical support if you feel you need it. Hoarding charities such as Hoarding UK or Hoarding Support can give you free advice. They can also put you in touch with professionals, though you may have to pay if you'd like this type of support. And if you experience difficulties with hoarding, you may be entitled to a needs assessment by social services. For more information, see our pages on social care.

In the last four years I have kept my snail's pace progress going by getting motivation from YouTube, listening to lectures on hoarding psychology and decluttering, and seeking help on self-help forums.

Coping with difficult feelings

Trying to manage your hoarding can make you feel emotionally drained. It might bring up lots of difficult feelings. This can make handling practical tasks harder.

There are ways you can support yourself and get help for these feelings. For example:

• Talk to someone. You might find it hard to open up about hoarding, but it might help if you share how you're feeling. If you don't feel you can talk to people around you, contact a hoarding charity. For example, Hoarding Disorders UK or Hoarding UK.  
• Try peer support. Connecting with people with similar or shared experiences can be helpful. For information on where you can find this sort of support, see our pages on peer support.
• Keep a diary. Try noting down your moods and feelings, as well as keeping a note of your hoarding. This could help you spot patterns in what triggers your hoarding behaviours. And the reasons behind difficult feelings.
• Take time to relax. Trying to manage your hoarding can be very hard work – emotionally as well as physically. It can help to find ways to relax that don't involve getting or saving things. For more ideas, see our pages on relaxation and nature and mental health.

It's a big step to recognise that you might have a hoarding problem and need some help. Even if you're finding it hard, knowing you're working towards change is something to be proud of.

Keeping yourself safe

Hoarding can sometimes make the place you live less safe. You might have a higher risk of fire spreading, or it may be hard for you to leave in an emergency.

You might not feel ready to start dealing with other parts of your hoarding problem. But it can be beneficial to make sure the place you live in is safe. 

Ask your local fire service to do a safety check

Many fire services understand hoarding.

They might ask you to describe your situation using a clutter image rating. Hoarding Disorders UK's website has a clutter image rating you can download for free.

The London Fire Brigade has a home fire safety checker. This could help if you're concerned about fire safety.

Helping others understand

You might disagree with people around you when it comes to hoarding. This could be friends, family, your partner, or official organisations like the council. It might be because they:

• Say you have a hoarding problem, but you don't think you do
• Insist on helping you clean, but you don't want them to
• Cannot see that you've made progress
• Don't believe you can keep up the progress in the long term

It can feel very upsetting to hear these things from people close to you. To help them understand your situation a bit better, try showing them our page helping someone who hoards.

Our page on talking to friends and family about a mental health problem might also help. 

Official organisations like the council or a housing association might say things you disagree with. Find out about your rights by contacting our legal line. Contact details are on our helplines page.

You could also read our information on disability discrimination.