How to manage anxiety and worry

Living with constant worries or anxiety can be very hard. But there are steps you can take that might help.

Some of our suggestions might not feel possible for you right now. Some might work best with the support of a therapist. But everyone's different. Focus on what you do feel able to try.

Having a strong support network, and most importantly doing the things I enjoy, make the days easier.

Try to understand your anxieties and worries

Sometimes the first step to managing anxiety is learning more about your worries. This can help you to spot early signs that you're struggling.

Understanding why we react in certain ways can help us to manage difficult feelings.

Everyone's experiences are different. But these are some questions you could think about. It may help to write your answers down or record them. Or talk them through with someone you trust.

• Are there places or times where you feel more anxious?
• Are your worries linked to certain tasks or people?
• How do your worries affect your thoughts, feelings and actions?
• Do you do things to avoid things that make you worried?
• Are you worried about things that you can control? Or are they out of your control? Can you do anything about them right now?
• Are your worries about things that are happening now? Or are they about things that may happen in the future?
• Imagine if you could stop worrying. What do you feel would happen?
• What has helped you in the past when you've felt anxious? What has made you feel worse?

Our pages on understanding anxiety and causes of anxiety could also help.

Keep a diary to spot patterns

It might help to make a note of what happens when you get anxious or have a panic attack. This could help you spot patterns in what triggers these experiences for you. Or notice early signs that they're beginning to happen.

You could also make a note of what's going well. Living with anxiety can mean you think a lot about things that worry you or are hard to do. It's important to be kind to yourself and notice the good things too.

Diving deeper into where my thoughts came from, how they showed up for me and why they were there, gave me the chance to sit above them. Instead of drowning in them.

Try to accept uncertainty

Try to remember that almost nothing is certain. And that it's normal to have doubts.

We can never be totally sure that our worries aren't true or that something bad won't happen. This can feel very upsetting and scary. But the more we try to be certain, the more time we spend thinking about our doubts. This often makes us feel more anxious and uncertain.

Try to avoid ‘all or nothing’ thinking. For example, if someone doesn't text or email you straight back, it doesn't mean that they don't care about you. There could be many reasons behind it.

Accept your thoughts and feelings

When we have a difficult thought or feeling, it's understandable to want it to go away. But often, the more we try to get rid of thoughts or feelings, the more they come back.

Try to remember that you don't need to 'fix' worrying thoughts that come into your head. They will often go away on their own. Instead of trying to solve a worrying thought, notice it and let it sit in your mind. Try to accept that it's there and that it feels distressing. Then try to bring your focus to the present moment. It may help to focus on your senses.

Sometimes thoughts can pop into our minds that feel very scary or shameful. Or that don't match our beliefs or values. These are called intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are very common. Just because we have a thought, it doesn't mean that we agree with it or that it's true. Sometimes it's just a thought.

Our pages on obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) have more information about intrusive thoughts.

Take small steps to challenge your worries

When we're anxious, we can do things to try and avoid our worries or difficult feelings. This is understandable. But it can often confirm to us that we can't cope with our worries. This can make them feel worse.

Sometimes it can help to try and challenge your worries. How you do this will depend on your situation. Start with small steps and see what works for you.

For example:

• If you've been putting off a task that worries you, try to take a small first step to doing it. If the first step feels too overwhelming, try to break that down into even smaller steps.
• If you ask for lots of reassurance about things, try to do something small without asking anyone's opinion.
• If you avoid certain situations because of anxiety, try to expose yourself to the situation in a small way. For example, if you avoid public transport try riding on the train or the bus for 1 stop. Next time, try 2 stops and slowly try to build up to more.

Set some boundaries around your worries

Anxiety can make it really hard to stop worrying. You might have worries you can't control. Or you might feel like you need to keep worrying because it feels useful. Or that bad things might happen if you stop.

But rather than trying to stop worrying completely, it can help to try to manage the way you worry. For example, you could:

• Set aside a specific time to focus on your worries. This may help you reassure yourself you haven't forgotten to think about them. Some people find it helps to set a timer.
• Write down your worries and keep them in a particular place. For example, you could write them in a notebook. Or on pieces of paper you put in an envelope or jar.
• Make a list of the things you can change, and the things you can't. Try to focus on the things you can control.
• If you spend a lot of time worrying and looking for information before making decisions, try setting time limits on how long you do this for.
• Try to notice when your worries are focused on worst case scenarios or ‘what if’ questions. Try to focus on things that are happening in the present moment, not things that might happen in the future.

Try these coping techniques and activities

Here are some ideas for ways to manage anxiety symptoms in the moment. And feel more able to cope.

Breathing exercises

Breathing exercises can help you cope and feel more in control. You can find some suggestions on our page on relaxation. The NHS also has some tips on breathing exercises for stress.

Sensory distractions

Doing something to interrupt your senses can sometimes help distract you if you're feeling overwhelmed.

For example, you could try:

• Sitting in front of a fan or heater
• Holding an ice cube
• Splashing water on your face
• Eating something with a strong flavour
• Changing your environment. For example, making the room cooler or changing the lighting
• Sitting under a heavy blanket or duvet

Manage panic attacks 

Watch our short video for some tips to help you cope. Our page on panic attacks has lots more information.

Explore your creativity

Doing something creative, like drawing, taking photos or baking might help distract you from difficult thoughts or feelings.

Or it may help you to understand yourself better or express difficult things in a safe way. Being creative can also feel calming or rewarding.

Creativity has helped me through a lot of dark times and played a significant role in my mental health recovery.

Make a self-care box

You could put together some things that might help you when you're struggling. It's a bit like making a first aid kit for your mental health.

For example:

• Favourite books, films or music
• A stress ball or fidget toy
• Helpful sayings or notes of encouragement
• Pictures or photos you find comforting
• A soft or weighted blanket
• Cosy slippers
• Something comforting to smell or taste, like a lavender bag or mints

Or you could make a digital self-care kit. You could save this on your phone so you can look at it anytime. You could save photos, music, videos, messages or sayings that you find helpful. Or notes to remind you how to manage difficult situations.

Small, actions, like journaling or mindfulness, listening to music etc, anchored me in the present. It's gradually weakening that torturous grip of despair, fear and anxiety.

Alternative therapies

You may find it helpful to include some types of alternative therapy in your routine. For example:

• Yoga
• Meditation
• Aromatherapy
• Massage
• Reflexology
• Hypnotherapy

Some people find that one or more of these methods can help them to relax or sleep better.

Explore these options in our pages on complementary and alternative therapies. This includes important information about safety.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a way of giving your full attention to the present moment. You may find mindfulness helps you cope with anxiety. There are lots of different ways to try mindfulness. These include:

• Mindful meditation exercises
• Exercises that focus on your senses
• Mindful eating or walking
• Doing everyday chores or activities mindfully

See our pages on mindfulness for more information.

I keep a diary in which I write my thoughts, this helps me process things and usually I feel better after jotting them down.

Talk to someone you trust

Talking to someone you trust about what's making you anxious could be a relief. Just having someone listen to you and show they care can help.

If you aren't able to open up to someone close to you, you could call a helpline. There's some listed on our mental health helplines page.

Visiting the university psychologist was a turning point. For the first time, someone listened without judgment. 

Connect with other people who understand

This is often called peer support. It's when people who've had similar experiences come together to support each other. Many of us find it helps to share advice, connect with others and feel less alone.

You could:

• Join Side by Side, our supportive online community
• Find your local Mind and see what they offer
• Search for groups on the Hub of Hope website
• Find groups through charities supporting people with anxiety

Find out more about peer support groups for mental health.

Anxiety charities are another good starting point. For example, you can find details of support groups, forums and helplines on these websites:

• Anxiety UK
• No More Panic
• No Panic
• Triumph Over Phobia UK

Our page of useful contacts for anxiety lists more options.

Look after your overall wellbeing

• Try to get enough sleep. Sleep can give you the energy to cope with difficult feelings and experiences. See our page of tips to improve your sleep for more information.
• Think about what you eat and drink. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. It's also important to drink fluids such as water, juice and or tea often. See our page on food and mental health for more information.
• Try to do some physical activity. Exercise can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing. See our pages on physical activity, exercise and mental health for more information.
• Spend time in nature. Spending time in nature can help your mental health. If you can't get outside, there are ways to bring nature into your home. See our pages on nature and mental health for more information.

Or page on how to improve your wellbeing has lots more tips.