How to cope on a waiting list for therapy

Before you start NHS therapy, you’re likely to spend some time on a waiting list.

Being on a waiting list can put a strain on your mental health. But there are ways to help yourself cope.

We’ve got some tips to help you while you wait.

From my initial doctor’s appointment to my first appointment with my counsellor was 9 weeks. Which felt like such a long time. Waiting 9 weeks for a sofa to be delivered? Maybe. But it seemed an extraordinary time to wait for healthcare.

Acknowledge your feelings

Reaching out for support is difficult. So it can be very disappointing and frustrating to then hear that you must wait.

You might feel angry, frustrated, hopeless or despairing.

The uncertainty of waiting may also make you feel more anxious.

And it can cause you to feel dismissed or unimportant. As if someone is saying that your problem ‘isn’t serious enough’ to deserve help right away.

But this isn’t true.

Waiting lists happen because there aren’t enough mental health services available.

It’s not a sign that your health is less important than other people’s.

Remember: your wellbeing matters, and you deserve support. You will still get help, although a therapist isn’t available immediately.

Understand the details of your therapy waiting list

There are often 2 stages of waiting after you or your GP have referred you to an NHS therapy service.

First, you’ll often need to wait for an assessment session. This wait is usually a few weeks. But it could be more, depending on the demand for the service.

Then, after the assessment, there is usually a further wait for the therapy to start. During this time you'll be on a waiting list until a spot is available for you in a suitable service.

This second wait is usually longer.

Waiting times vary for both the assessment session and for a therapist to be available.

How long you have to wait will depend on:

• How many other people are waiting for support

• Where you live

• Which type of service you need

You can always ask the service provider for an update about how long you might need to wait.

Prepare for your first therapy session

Feeling more prepared could help you feel calmer and more in control while you wait.

Learn about what therapy might be like

It's common to feel worried or unsure about what to expect from therapy.

If you’d like to do some research, our articles on what to expect from therapy and how to get the most out of therapy are a good starting point.

Plan what you want to get out of therapy

It’s likely that your therapist will ask you about this when you first meet. So you might find it helpful to use the time you’re waiting to think about what you want out of therapy.

You could write this down in a journal, and add to it as ideas come up.

Save up questions for your therapist

You might find it helpful to write these down in a list. You could share them with your therapist during your first session.

Try self-care activities

It can be hard to be kind to yourself when you’re struggling. But congratulate yourself on taking this first step. It's not easy asking for help. But it’s often the first step towards getting and staying well.

Here are some ways to show yourself kindness.

Practise mindfulness

Practising mindfulness daily, even briefly, can help with depression, anxiety and stress.

It works by helping you learn to focus on the present moment. And supports you to have a healthier relationship with your own feelings.

Find ways to relax

Relaxation techniques can help you feel calmer and more able to cope. Our page on relaxation has useful tips.

Do something daily that you enjoy

Finding small and simple activities you enjoy can help manage your mental health while you wait.

What works will be personal to you. You could try puzzle books, gaming, jigsaws or painting. Making music, crafting or anything else that you enjoy.

Lots of people find that bringing nature into everyday life feels good. Our pages on nature and mental health have lots of tips on how to connect with nature.

Stick to a routine

Try sticking to a routine. For example, you may find it helpful to aim to wake up and go to bed at the same times each day.

You could also try to include in your routine a small thing that brings you joy. Or your routine might include taking any regular medication at the same time each day.

Lots of us have a daily routine that includes looking at social media or reading the news. But sometimes these things can make us feel worse.

Our articles on getting a good online/offline balance and coping with distressing events in the news have more advice.

Keep a mood diary or journal

Using a mood diary can help you track changes in your moods and notice what influences them. Activities, places or people all have the potential to make us feel better or worse.

It can be as simple as noting your main feeling each day and what you did.

You could also write in a journal to process your thoughts, either on paper or digitally. Then once therapy begins you can share anything you notice in your mood diary or journal with your therapist.

Explore other services and resources

Different things suit different people. Here are some options to think about.

Self-help resources

You might find that exploring self-help resources, such as books, could help you manage your mental health while you wait for therapy.

For example, Reading Well for Mental Health has resources on lots of different mental health problems. You can borrow these from your local library.

Complementary and alternative therapies

There are lots of alternative methods of managing your wellbeing. Like yoga, massage, meditation and herbal remedies.

You could try something like this while you wait.

And if you find it works for you – you can keep doing it alongside your therapy sessions.

Our pages on complementary and alternative therapies have more information.

Helplines and listening services

While you wait for therapy sessions with a therapist, you could try listening services.

Like therapy, these can be helpful because they give you someone to talk to who cares and wants to listen.

Our page on helplines and listening services lists lots of options.

Charity and community services

There are ways to access free or low-cost support outside the NHS while you wait. Perhaps through charities or community organisations.

There might also be a waiting list for these services, but it may be shorter than the NHS one.

For example, there are lots of organisations who offer support for bereavement.

Check your local library, GP surgery and community centre for local options.

Or you can use Hub of Hope. It’s an online directory of local mental health services across the UK.

For more information on free and low-cost therapy, see our page on how to find therapy.

Connect with others

Try community peer support groups

Peer support brings together people with similar experiences. It helps by supporting people to connect, share experiences and ideas, and feel less alone.

See our pages on peer support for information on what it involves and where to find it.

Talk to someone you trust

It might feel hard but talking to someone you trust can help while you wait for therapy.

Our page on opening up about your mental health has some tips.

And if you don’t feel you have anyone you can open up to, call a helpline to speak to someone confidentially.

Helpline staff care and want to listen - this in itself can sometimes help. For example, you can call Samaritans any time on 116 123.

Work on any practical issues

There may be lots of practical issues affecting your wellbeing, such as money or housing issues. If so, consider starting to deal with these before you begin therapy. That can help you make the best use of the time you have with your therapist.

You can speak to Citizens Advice for support with issues like these.

Look after your physical wellbeing

Physical and mental health are related. So looking after your physical health can make a difference to your mood.

Get active

It can be hard to exercise when you’re feeling low or anxious. But moving your body, even in a small way, can help improve how you feel.

You could try walking, dancing, an online workout, running, cycling or team sports. Many local organisations run exercise groups.

Your GP may also be able to refer you for free exercise classes if you ask about this.

See our page on mental health and physical activity for more information.

Think about your diet

Our page on food and mental health has information about how different types of food and drink may affect how you feel.

For example, too much caffeine may make you more anxious. And the page has tips for managing your diet when you’re feeling unwell.

Try to get good sleep

You may find that your sleep gets worse while you wait for therapy. Getting good sleep can help improve our mood and increase our energy levels.

See our pages on coping with sleep problems for more information.

I read if I can't sleep, as well as drinking herbal tea. It helps me relax and fall asleep faster. If this doesn't help, I focus on my breathing and try and empty my brain.

Know what to do if you feel in crisis

It can help you feel more in control to know what you can do if you start to feel seriously unwell.

If the therapy service you’re waiting for has given you a local crisis number, make sure to keep a note of it.

Our resources on ways to cope in a crisis could be useful.

If you start to feel like you can’t keep yourself safe, that’s a mental health emergency.

See our page on how to get help in a crisis for emergency advice.