My waiting list nightmare

The long NHS waiting times in the UK has been one of the hardest parts of managing my condition. When I have been able to access professional help, I’ve had issues with misdiagnosis and inappropriate medication. This has often made my symptoms more dangerous.

I started to experience symptoms such as social anxiety and self-destructive behaviour in my teens. I didn’t understand why I felt like I did. After not knowing where to seek help, I self-medicated with alcohol and drugs. When I finally talked to my GP, he was judgmental of my life-style choices and didn’t recognise that my substance misuse was a symptom of mental health problems.

"Making the call to Mind was pivotal in my journey to recovery. For the first time I felt able to talk about my mental health in a non-judgemental and safe space."

He recommended I seek help for alcohol dependency, and prescribed me an antidepressant without suggesting any sort of talking therapy. I continued to
self-medicate with alcohol for some time and began to lose hope that I would ever feel better. It was at this point that I saw an advert for Mind’s Helpline and called their support team.

Making this call was pivotal in my journey to recovery. For the first time I felt able to talk about my mental health in a non-judgemental and safe space. The adviser listened to me and helped me understand the steps I needed to take to seek professional treatment.

"I was put on another waiting list, this time for a community psychiatric nurse. My condition deteriorated significantly."

After speaking to my GP, I was prescribed a course of cognitive behavioural therapy. I had to wait for six weeks before I saw a therapist and attended a course of six sessions. CBT helped me manage some of my symptoms and learn healthier coping strategies. However, I still needed more specialised support for my psychotic, dissociative and self-destructive behaviours. So I was put on another waiting list – this time for a community psychiatric nurse.

I felt my life had been put on hold. My condition deteriorated significantly, my problems with alcohol worsened and at times it felt like I was just clinging on. It was eight months before I finally received an appointment to see a community psychiatric nurse for an assessment. The outcome of this was a recommendation that I needed treatment from a Specialised Clinical Psychologist, which meant another long waiting list.

I felt like I was back to square one. I became desperate and began to self-harm.

It was nearly a year before I saw a highly specialised clinical psychologist for an assessment. The outcome was a referral for a course of treatment, but I had to wait again. It was two years before I started treatment and during this period I was hospitalised again.

The clinical psychologist introduced useful self-compassionate techniques. However, after the course of treatment finished I relapsed again. After more visits to A&E and the crisis team, it was recommended that I needed to see a specialised psychiatrist. And on it went, being pushed from pillar to post.

"I first reached out for help in 2005, but it wasn’t until 2022 that I received the correct diagnosis, treatment and medication."

Finally, in 2022 I received the help I needed. Together my psychiatrist and I found an antipsychotic on that has enabled me to manage my symptoms on a daily basis, and I have not been admitted to hospital for over two years.

During this time, I was placed on waiting lists for over a year on lots of occasions, only to find out I had been waiting for the wrong therapy and had to go back to square one. I have been hospitalised on numerous occasions while on waiting lists as I have not been able to cope for long periods without help. Seventeen years since reaching out I am finally in a safer place, but the waiting times during this period have not only been frustrating but life-threatening. I consider myself lucky to have survived.