You can share your thoughts without being judged on Side by Side

It was back in in 2016 when I was 17, that things started to become different. It came out of the blue. My moods were changing a lot quicker than usual and I started to feel really low, so I just kept myself to myself.

I first noticed the change when I was on holiday with my family and I kicked off for no reason. I remember saying to my nan; “I've got a problem. I need to sort myself out.” I went to see someone, and that’s when I was told I had anxiety and depression. I was like: “OK, that answers a good few questions!”

“I often don’t know how to explain what I’m going through, so it's difficult. If I need it, I know it’s there for me.”

A few years ago, during the first Covid lockdown, I was diagnosed with EUPD, which stands for Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. It’s how I think, feel and behave around others. It’s difficult to explain, but if I’m around someone that I don’t know I tend to be very quiet and keep myself to myself. Or if I’m around family, I’m usually the same. But as soon as I get comfortable, then I start to feel calm and then the real me comes out. It is difficult, I’m not going to lie. It is very difficult.

I experience major mood swings. They can be triggered any time. I’m not a big fan of crowded places. I get more anxious in them there and start to panic and feel like I need to get away.

Most mornings I struggle to get up. I’ve got my partner to encourage me and to help me get through it, but it’s easier said than done. I just want to lie in bed, watch TV and go back to sleep. I don’t want to be going out socialising with people. I’m a massive overthinker, which doesn’t help. I worry about what people think of me.

It just makes me feel low, physically and mentally and I get a bit upset and angry over it as well. I often don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling and what I’m going through, so it's difficult.

“I would have really struggled a lot more if I didn’t have Side by Side.”

I’ve been part of Mind’s online community Side by Side for a few years now, and it’s brilliant. It's like Facebook for the mental health community. You post photos, messages and statuses, and you don’t need to feel judged, or like anybody else outside is looking at all that you’ve posted. Side by Side describes itself as a safe place to share experiences and listen to others, and for me it has been just that. The great thing about it is you’ve got other people around you who are going through something similar. l recommend it to anyone in need of a bit of support because there are a lot of people there that can offer it.

I would have struggled a lot more if I didn’t have Side by Side. It’s my little coping mechanism. If I need it I know it's there and I can use it whenever, wherever.

I feel a lot calmer and happier. It makes it a lot better knowing that you’ve got people around you that can actually help you.

“I want to say a massive thank you to Mind for changing my life and helping me get to a better place.”

Please give to Mind If you can do. It is one of the best charities I’ve come across and it does so much for people with mental health. The more donations Mind gets, the more people it can support.

I want to say a massive thank you to Mind for changing my life and helping me get to a better place. I’ll be continuing to use Side by Side and spreading awareness of it to others as well, so hopefully they can get the support that they need.

None of the work Mind does would be possible if it weren’t for our brilliant supporters. From 22 to 26 July, we’re taking a whole week to thank the people most important to us. That’s you.