Raising money for Mind makes me feel less alone

I’d been with Chris for 12 years since we were 18. He’d always been the class clown and a bit of joker, but it all changed when Covid hit.

Our son Ted was born in January 2020, and lockdown started a couple of months later. It meant we had to cope on our own with a newborn, and our family and friends couldn’t meet him.

“The change in Chris slowly became more noticeable. He was making fewer jokes and seemed more fragile.”

Chris was outgoing and loved to socialise. He was still working in his job as a pensions administrator, but now he was doing it at home with a new baby under the same roof. He missed seeing his friends despite them setting up regular Friday gaming nights.

The change in Chris slowly became more noticeable. He was making fewer jokes and seemed more fragile and sensitive as time went on.

It wasn’t until 2022 that Chris said he was going to see the GP to talk about how he was feeling and maybe get some medication. I said I didn’t mind who he spoke to, as long as it was someone – it didn’t have to be me.

I went on to the Mind website to try to find resources for him. I was now spending more time with him, trying to support him, but I think it was already too late. His mind was made up.

Chris took his own life in November 2022. He was only 29 years old.

I think Chris was a classic stereotype and masked his feelings. He would occasionally tell his friends he wasn’t feeling great that day, but he’d never go more in-depth than that.

Meeting with a counsellor

Since his death I’ve been using Leeds Mind’s Suicide Bereavement Service, and I meet with a counsellor once a fortnight, which really helps me. I also get a lot of support from family and friends. Chris and I had a large friendship group, and they’ve all been really affected by his death.

We’re determined to get something positive out of Chris’s death, so we’ve started to fundraise for Mind. We’ve done everything from running 100k in one day to the Great North Run to cycling from Leeds to Newcastle. We also recently organised a football tournament, and I’ve got a Mind charity place for the Great North Run again. So far we’ve raised over £14,000.

“Mental health is hugely underfunded so it’s more important than ever to raise money for charities like Mind.”

We promote our JustGiving pages on Facebook and Instagram and we’ve made TikTok videos. We also reached out to our employers for donations and used our professional connections on LinkedIn.

Mental health is hugely underfunded so it’s more important than ever to raise money for charities like Mind.

Since Chris’s death I’ve been added to his boys’ WhatsApp group. They regularly do mental health updates and check up on each other. They’re now open about things such as if they’ve been speaking to a counsellor or are taking anti-depressants, and they share links for things that have helped them. Some of them have been struggling with mental health for years but haven’t felt as though they could speak about it, while for others it’s a reaction to Chris’s death.

I’m so happy they are supporting each other. It can feel so lonely when you’re struggling with your mental health, like you’re the only one, so it’s good to realise you’re not alone.