Mind mums’ group helped my mental health

I was seven months pregnant with my second child and I used to go to the local community centre. That's where I had my monthly meetings with a midwife to assess my pregnancy. I told her that I was finding it really tough this time round. I was struggling to manage my toddler and the pregnancy, and it was getting a bit much. She said, 'Oh, there's this new thing, it's called Mums Matter and if you're interested, they're going to be running it here for about two months’.

They explained it would last eight weeks, there’d be a crèche on site and I'd get two hours to myself. I was like 'Hell yes, of course'. I was told that it wasn’t like therapy or a group where I’d just be talked at, but something that was very interactive and where I’d get to share my own life story.

Mums Matter still have quite structured sessions, but they still give you the autonomy to share and speak. The first week was all about introductions and getting us to speak about the challenges of motherhood and how it's impacted us personally.

“It felt like a load had come off my shoulders just by breathing in a certain way. I could see firsthand, it actually works.”

After that the sessions were much more structured and always on a theme. We’d start each one with guided meditation and it would vary every week, from strategies that we could use at home to different breathing techniques. I really enjoyed that because it just allowed me to pause in a very busy, chaotic day.

It felt like a load had come off my shoulders just by breathing in a certain way. I could see firsthand, it actually works.

“Now I've got a little tribe that I can communicate with. Before Mums Matter I had nothing.”

Just having somebody there, it was like a little village to check up on you and remind you that you matter and to take care of yourself. It wasn't like traditional therapy, it was more a way to build a little community.

Now I've got a little tribe that I can communicate with. Before Mums Matter I had nothing. Through Mums Matter you're fostering genuine relationships with women who live near you and you get opportunities to open up to each other, which I think needs to be the way to do it. That's much more authentic.

I felt anxious before I went to Mums Matter, I was apprehensive meeting new people not knowing what they're going to be like, not knowing what to expect. But all the women were very encouraging and kind to one another. It all happened in a gradual, organic manner. By the end, I felt empowered and positive.

I now had a bunch of tools that I could use and that I still sometimes use. I came away feeling good about the fact that I'm a mum. I felt appreciated for something that is very much neglected. In society we know that mums work hard but we're not recognised for it. And who else is going to understand that better than fellow mums? Just having that platform to be able to speak to other mums to say ‘You're doing great’ and to have it back is important. Sometimes you don't need anything complicated. You don't need fancy dinners out or meetings, you just need to speak.

“Having funding to be able to offer those eight short weeks has made a world of difference to me.”

Mum’s Matter has been invaluable to me – and could be for you. You get time away to yourself, it's short term, and it's effective. It gives you skills and it could open up your eyes to things about being a mum and motherhood that you might not even be thinking about. Mum’s Matter is so validating because you'll realise that you're not alone.

I feel sad because there are mums out there who don't have this. I know a lot of mums who are struggling. For anyone who’s donating to Mind or their local Mind, I want to say thank you. You're saving mums from going down a rabbit hole of depression. You are supporting future generations by giving mums some autonomy and their mental health back. Without this they're going to struggle.

At Mind, we work together with local Minds across England and Wales. Local Minds provide face-to-face mental health support in their communities and as independent charities they are responsible for their own funding and services.

Want to find out more about the work that’s happening at local Minds? You can read more about the Wellbeing Adviser service that is being trialled at 3 local Minds, or explore how local Minds in Wales are providing vital support in their communities.

Looking for support in your area? Find your local Mind.