It’s time to end the stigma
Jack, who has dissociative identity disorder, blogs about why society and the media must get a better understanding of mental health and explains how Mind has helped him.
I first started having dissociative experiences when I was 14. I told myself it was nothing; just what normal teenagers go through. By my twenties I realised it wasn’t what other people around me were experiencing, and recently I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (alongside complex PTSD). Like so many mental health conditions, there is a huge stigma attached to DID.
“I get confused about my DID diagnosis, not least because some people say “Oh that’s too rare, you can’t possibly have it!”
For starters, some people simply say it doesn’t exist. Lots of mental health websites never mention it. Thankfully Mind does, and it’s been a huge help to me. I have also read lots of books and science papers to understand my condition better. I’ve found that grounding myself in information has been really validating, especially because my diagnosis is controversial.
Even now I get confused about my diagnosis, not least because some people say “Oh that’s too rare, you can’t possibly have it!” At times like this, I know I can go to the Mind website to read up on it, which is really helpful. The CTAD (Complex Trauma And Dissociation) clinic has also been very helpful.
There are so many misunderstandings about what DID actually is. People often think it’s all about having “different personalities” because that sounds exotic or scary. But experiencing shifts in your identity is just one example of what DID might feel like. It’s just a tiny drop in the DID ocean. Most of the symptoms are really mundane, like not being able to remember things. There's so much misinformation out there that it's a nightmare to find anything accurate about it.
“It's always terrifying to talk about DID from a trust angle and because it’s difficult to explain.”
My mental health has left me isolated. I've struggled to keep in contact with people and meet new people. There reaches a point where you go, 'I want to tell this person so that they can understand why I'm like this.' But it's always terrifying to talk about DID from a trust angle and because it’s difficult to explain. But I am lucky in that I have a very close friend, and some family members, who are extremely supportive.
I am also trans which further complicates things. Not for me, but for others who assume any mental health condition is related to me being trans. My friend calls it 'Trans broken arm syndrome.' You go into the doctors, and you're like, 'My arm is broken.' And they're like, 'Is it because you're trans?!’ Being trans and having DID is a stigma double whammy.
I have tried a few types of talking therapy, but had little success, though I know it can work for others. I've had bad experiences with people who are phoning it in and just ticking a box and going, 'Yes, I tried’. Going to talking therapy and then being talked over and dismissed just makes it feel like, 'Why am I even here?’
I've also been turned away from services for being “too complicated”. It's horrible because it feels like being blamed for your own problems. I’ve tried other things such as changing my diet, cutting out caffeine, sleep hygiene and mindfulness, but none of it has helped.
One reliable source of support for me has been Mind. It’s the first mental health charity I heard about. One of the things that I remember really helping me is reading on the Mind website about how difficult it can be to reach out for support and how often mental health is stigmatised. It validated my experience. I felt I’ve benefited for so long from Mind that I wanted to give something back.
“One of the things that annoys me stigma-wise is seeing mental health used as a plot twist in films, video games and TV dramas.”
My experience of mental health stigma goes back to talking to my parents when I was young and them saying if I got stamped as having mental health issues it would ruin my life. They thought it was better for me to suffer in silence. It's so wrong. Certain conditions have bigger stigmas attached to them. A while ago I was misdiagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, and that was essentially weaponised to paint me as hysterical.
One of the things that annoys me stigma-wise is seeing mental health used as a plot twist in films, video games and TV dramas. There’s a whole genre that I've heard referred to as trauma horror, where the big reveal is like, “No, the monster was her trauma the whole time”. It makes me so angry. There’s also that thing in movies where people are reduced to their mental health problems. It doesn't have to be their entire everything, they're allowed to do other things as well. Why can’t a character have depression and also kill dragons rather than the entire plot arc being about depression?
There are exceptions though. My go-to mental health representation is Cloud from Final Fantasy VII. There's so much depth and nuance to Cloud's issues, without relying on stamping him with a label, and this more organic way of relating to mental health is more powerful. I've also seen good video game representation of psychopathy, which is great because it’s so misunderstood.
“How can we fight stigma? Being open is hugely important. But no one person can do it by themselves, as a society we need to be open about mental health.”
Milky Way Prince - The Vampire Star is also a great game dealing with how mental health affects relationships. The writer has said he's had his own mental health experiences, and that clearly informs the game.
So how can we fight stigma? Being open is hugely important. It’s certainly helped me. But no one person can do it by themselves, as a society we need to be open about mental health. The more people talk and the more people listen (properly listen) the better. Some talking therapists I’ve met could certainly learn from this. And the more mental health is presented accurately and sensitively in dramas the more normalised it will be.
Finally, mental health affects all of us in one way or another, so the more we go to reliable resources such as the Mind website or the science papers I read, the more we will understand mental health and the less stigmatised it will be.
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