How I learnt to accept my anxiety
Shiva talks about how she learnt to live with anxiety, and how it has helped her become more empathetic and attentive.
My heart pounds like a fast drum, my hands get cold, and sometimes my whole body trembles — but no one sees how real this fire inside me is. This is me, living every day with anxiety that feels like it wants to swallow me whole, making normal life impossible.
I’ve had anxiety as a constant companion since childhood. When I said I was worried or scared, I was told, “It’s all in your head,” or “You’re making too much of a fuss.” This constant invalidation pushed me away from others and deep inside myself.
"My hands trembled, my words got stuck, and my body would freeze. Sometimes I was so paralyzed I couldn’t even answer the phone."
School was a battlefield. I had no friends, and presenting in front of classmates felt impossible. My hands trembled, my words got stuck, and my body would freeze. Sometimes I was so paralyzed I couldn’t even answer the phone. This inner struggle made me miss many opportunities I truly wanted, both at work and school.
The fear of judgment and facing new situations was overwhelming. People would say, “Why are you so anxious? Just control it!” and each time, I felt more shame. It was as if my struggle was a personal failing, not anxiety. This anxious hum never faded, even during sleep, waking me with a pounding heart or troubling dreams — a constant, exhausting presence.
"Visiting the university psychologist was a turning point. For the first time, someone listened without judgment. I began to see anxiety not as weakness, but as a complex challenge."
When I started university, anxiety was still with me. But the exhaustion of hiding it pushed me to seek help quietly, so my family wouldn’t find out and judge me. I checked out psychology books from the library, attended workshops under the guise of classes, and sought advice from experts.
Visiting the university psychologist was a turning point. For the first time, someone listened without judgment. In those calm moments, I began to see anxiety not as weakness, but as a complex challenge. That first step of speaking up, though terrifying, started me on a new path.
"Practices such as journaling, breathing exercises, and talking to someone I trust have become integral to how I manage each day."
Today, I accept anxiety as part of who I am. It’s not just a mental issue; it’s a real voice warning me that I’m alive. Sometimes it pushes me to be more careful and attentive. It’s also helped me develop empathy for others and prioritise my mental health.
Practices such as journaling, breathing exercises, and talking to someone I trust have become integral to how I manage each day. If you also hear this inner voice, know you are not alone. Together, we are strong, even when the world doesn’t see us. You are not “too sensitive.” You are brave.
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