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Antidepressants eased my anxiety

Tuesday, 15 October 2024 Karen

Karen was reluctant to go on medication, but she feels it’s helped her move forward in her life.

I started taking antidepressants about 6 years ago, due to anxiety and depression. Looking back I realise I had been suffering from anxiety since I was 9, when I lost my younger cousin to leukemia. She lived across the road, we were best friends.

Counselling wasn’t on offer then so I didn’t get help processing the loss which left me feeling scared and confused with lots of unanswered questions about grief for many years.

"When people would say “Things can’t be that bad!” I thought “Well actually I know that they can be."

When I was 14 I lost my beloved aunty. This brought the topic of grief back to the forefront of my mind. Throughout my life when people would say - “Things can’t be that bad!”. I thought ‘well actually I know that they can be’. I had learnt as a child that ‘bad things do happen’ and that was difficult to unlearn.

As an adult I was happy, with a successful career and a family. At 44 I went through a divorce and started to feel anxious and low. I wanted to sleep at every given opportunity. I couldn’t keep things in perspective. Everyday tasks, like brushing my hair and showering, would fall by the wayside. I felt lonely and didn’t speak to anyone. I didn’t want to bother anyone and nobody noticed a thing.

I tried to speak about my feelings to friends and family about the low and worthless feelings but I would hear “Things can always be worse” and “Lots of people are much worse off than you”, comments that had a tendency to silence me. I knew they weren’t intending to cause offence, they were just uneducated in this particular subject. At this point I decided I needed professional advice.

“I went to the GP and broke down. I could barely speak. But the doctor was reassuring and listened to every word.”

It took a while for me to pluck up the courage to go to the doctor as I didn’t want to bother them, but then I started thinking nobody does a job like that if they didn’t genuinely care. I went to the GP and broke down. I could barely speak. But the doctor was reassuring and listened to every word. I felt supported and could see immediately that I was going to get the help that I needed. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders!

I started taking antidepressants and had to phone in every 2 weeks at the start so they could monitor how I was coping. The only side effect I felt was a few mild headaches at the start. In time I was able to think straighter and get things into perspective, The medication helped me move forward in my life. Professional help is available and my advice is that you should not hesitate to take it if you feel you need to.

“I am now taking a lower dose. I hope one day I may be able to manage without them, but there is no rush. Health is the most important thing.”

Over time I started to feel more confident to talk about my condition and medication. And as I started to talk about it to friends and colleagues, I discovered that many of them were also taking antidepressants, which was a comfort to me.

I am now taking a lower dose. I hope one day I may be able to manage without them, but there is no rush. Health is the most important thing. They are not a magic formula and I do not solely rely on them. I have had counselling and I realise that to manage myself I had to educate myself, seek help and learn techniques to help me deal better with situations that make me feel anxious or low.

I see my doctor every 3 months, but I know that I can contact them if I need to. I also have all the information for various support groups and crisis lines if I need them. I am thinking in the near future of completing a counselling course so that I can help others. I try to focus on what makes me feel good naturally. For me, it is my love of horses. I go horse riding as much as I can. One thing I have learnt is that there is a solution to every problem with the right support.

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