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An Unspoken Conversation

Friday, 03 February 2017 Nicole

Nicole, a Time to Change Youth Champion talks about how writing letters helps her feel connected to others.

A spoken conversation can sometimes be difficult but a conversation about mental health does not need to be spoken. Sometimes writing can have just as, if not more, of an impact than speaking.

When I first started therapy I was asked to write letters to myself, also to the illness, this helped in ways I was able to express my thoughts and feelings without actually talking. 

I then started blogging and my therapeutic letters soon turned into daily posts, reflections and conversations with others who had been, or were going through a similar experience. 

Having a mental illness can be very isolating, so allowing myself to have this connection with others was a huge step within my recovery. After a while these online conversations turned into written conversations, often posting and receiving letters and cards, pen-pals that gave me friendship in what felt like a mist of loneliness. 

I remember thinking about how these letters and cards made me feel and wondered if I could bring this closer to home and so I began to write letters to my family and friends to, something I had done here and there before but never in depth. I began to write to my parents explaining how I felt, allowing them to gain some sort of understanding and they began to write back. 

"When the illness was so strong at pushing people away, writing allowed me to let people in."

Postcards, letters, cards, poems and even post-it-notes, short and long, each one reminding me I was not alone.

Having a mental illness can make you feel very alone and having something, no matter how small that makes you feel not so alone can completely change your life. It gives you a feeling of warmth when all you have felt is cold.

"Without these written conversations, I do not believe I would have been able feel such a connection with those around me or those a far."

I cherish each and every word and have each placed into a scrapbook, which is now bursting at the seams. From my great-grandmother’s cards, poems from my father and even letters from my younger brother, it seems I am not the only one who finds it easier to write. 

Talking to somebody experiencing ill mental health does not need to be difficult and definitely not ignored, words can let people feel less alone, a feeling that can truly change a person’s life. It does not need to be fancy, a simple, ‘how are you?’ or ‘I saw this card and thought of you’. Letting people know you are there, spoken, written or even a text, all have the power to create change. 

Also, we all have mental health and I know that well or not words can give people the little ‘pick me up’ they need. Writing notes and sending letters is something that I still do and it continues to give me a feeling of warmth. 

Starting a conversation today could change someone’s life. Whether you want to talk or write, join in with Time to Talk Day and get talking about mental health.

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