How to help someone with seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

It can be hard to know how to support someone who's experiencing seasonal affective disorder (SAD).  But there are things you can do to help while also looking after your own wellbeing.

Their self-esteem is very low in the winter months, particularly November and December, as the days get shorter.

Let them know you're there

Lots of people can find it hard to open up about how they're feeling. One of the most important things you can do is let the person you're worried about know that you care. And that it's ok to talk about what they're experiencing.

Listen to them

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for someone is to listen to them.

You don't need to think of solutions or 'fix' their feelings. Let them know you hear what they're saying and that their feelings are understandable. 

Support them to seek help

Supporting someone to seek help can be really important. It can help to remind them that seasonal affective disorder is a recognised condition like many others. And remind them that they deserve help and support.

You could read our tips for coping with seasonal affective disorder (SAD). You could also read our information on treatment for seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

Encourage them to seek help from their GP. See our pages on how to support someone else to seek help for more information.

I can see my family members with winter SAD shutting down through autumn, until in winter they are prone to afternoon naps, shutting themselves away alone in a room, and have a lack of interest in anything.

Try not to be critical

If you've not experienced SAD yourself, it can be hard to understand why your friend or family member can't just 'snap out of it'. Try not to blame them. They're probably being very critical and harsh towards themselves already.

It's also important not to put pressure on them to feel or behave a certain way. For example, expecting someone to be active and particularly happy in the summer.

Be sensitive when talking about the weather

Try to avoid comparing SAD to general struggles with the weather.

Most of us find that our mood or energy levels are sometimes affected by the weather. And you may feel that talking about this shows you understand. But this could trivialise their experiences. Or make them feel like you don't realise how difficult SAD is.

It's common to describe certain types of weather as being good or bad. For example, talking about "nice weather" or describing rainy days as "dreary" or "miserable".

This could make someone with SAD feel criticised or alone. Considering how you talk about different types of weather could help.

Ask them what helps

SAD can affect people in different ways. It's important to ask them what support they would find most helpful. And you could ask what has or hasn't helped them in the past.

They may want your emotional support. Or there may be specific practical things you could do that could help them cope.

What people need can also change over time. It's a good idea to check in with them regularly to see if anything has changed.

Help them to plan ahead

If you have some idea when their symptoms are likely to start, you may want to plan things in advance that might help. For example, you could:

• Schedule time to offer practical support
• Make sure there will be people around to offer support
• Avoid planning any activities during the period they find particularly difficult
• Plan activities that might help them to relax

Talk together about what demands they can cope with. For example, if you live together you might decide to avoid having guests during difficult times.

I try to encourage my winter-suffering family members to think ahead. And get helpful things organised for during their difficult time before winter starts, while they still have the energy and ability to do so.

Try to be flexible

If you do things together which are harder at certain times of the year, ask if there are changes you could make. For example, it may help to meet earlier in the day when it's lighter. Or it may be better to do something inside if they're struggling in hot weather.

Plans may need to change depending on the weather or how they're feeling. This may feel difficult or confusing. But try to remember that SAD symptoms can be unpredictable.

Stay in touch

SAD can cause people to feel very isolated. For example, if they don't feel up to joining in with social activities. Or they struggle to find things they can do during difficult times.

It could help to suggest things they might find easier to do. For example, if someone feels worse in hot weather, doing indoor activities like watching a film together.

Look after yourself

There are times when supporting someone can be challenging. So it's common to feel overwhelmed at times. It's important to look after your own mental health too. It may help if you:

• Set boundaries and don't take too much on. It's important to decide what your limits are and how much you're able to help them. Your needs matter too.
• Share your caring role with others, if you can. It's often easier to support someone if you're not doing it alone.
• Talk to others about how you're feeling. You may want to be careful about how much information you share about the person you're supporting. But talking about your own feelings with someone you trust can help you feel supported too.
• Find support for yourself. There's some suggestions on our pages on how to cope when supporting someone else.

Our pages on managing stress and building resilience and wellbeing also have tips you could try.