How to help someone with body image issues

It can be hard if someone you know has negative thoughts about their body. This is sometimes referred to as body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).

But there are things you can do to support them.

Accept their feelings

If someone feels negatively about their body, you can help a lot by accepting those feelings. 

You may not understand their concerns about their appearance. But it's important to recognise that these feelings are very real to them. And that they find them hard to cope with. Try to avoid judging them as 'vain' or 'self-obsessed'.

Relate to them as a whole person

It's important to relate to them as a whole person, not just their body dysmorphia.

Try to remind them of the things you like about them. And keep doing the things you'd usually do together. This could help them feel involved and show that you've not changed your opinion of them.

Offer space to talk

It can be hard for someone experiencing body dysmorphia to acknowledge and speak about their thoughts. Especially if they find them embarrassing. But speaking can be a first step in seeking help.

Acknowledge the thoughts they might have. But try to avoid getting into discussions about appearance or reassuring them.

Offer support with treatment

If someone is having treatment with a therapist, or trying a self-help programme, you might be able to support them with this.

It could be practical help such as childcare while they attend appointments. Everyone's situation is different so ask them what they'd find helpful.

Our page on how to support someone to seek help has lots of suggestions and tips you can try. These include emotional and practical support you could offer. There's also information on what to do if someone doesn't want help, what to do in an emergency and how to look after yourself.

Celebrate their successes

It can be frustrating to see how their obsessive worries and compulsive behaviours affect their day-to-day life. But stopping compulsive behaviours can be very hard. It'll take time.

Celebrating the small steps can help keep them motivated. For example, spending less time grooming or carrying out fewer repetitions.

Don't take it personally

It can be particularly hard if someone's body dysmorphia means that at times they don't want to see you. Or they withdraw from social contact.

Try to remember that this is most likely due to their negative feelings about their appearance. It's not something you're likely to have done.

Body dysmorphia is complex and is caused by many things. Try to avoid blaming yourself or others for someone's body dysmorphia. Try to focus on their treatment and recovery instead.

Learn their triggers

Some people with body dysmorphia find certain situations difficult. And they find they can provoke more repetitive behaviour. Sometimes these situations can't be avoided. For example, seeing mirrors in shops or public toilets. But taking steps to gradually build up to the situations with them may help.

Be patient

People with body dysmorphia may seek reassurance about the way they look. Try not to get drawn into debates about their appearance. Encourage others not to do the same.

You might find it helpful to talk about boundaries. For example, how often you'll engage in conversations about appearance.

Boost their confidence

Encourage them to do the things they enjoy. Offering praise that doesn't focus on the way they look can also help to raise their self-esteem.

Get support for yourself

It can be distressing to be close to someone experiencing body dysmorphia, particularly if you're caring for them.

You might find it useful to talk to other people who are in the same situation as you. Finding out more about these complex problems might help.

The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation has information on supporting a friend or relative with BDD, as well as support groups for carers.