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How to open up to people you know – for 11-18 year olds

A guide for young people on talking to people you know about mental health, how you're feeling or what you're experiencing.

Read this page in Welsh (Cymraeg)

Opening up about mental health to people you know

Opening up to someone about our mental health can feel difficult, especially if we've never done it before.

We might feel scared that people might judge us, not take us seriously or won't understand. Some of us don't know where to start and worry that sharing our feelings will make things worse. But talking to people close to us can help us cope better with how we're feeling.

This page explains why opening up is important and guides you through the process. It includes tips on how to talk to someone about how you're feeling, and what to do if they don't understand.

Remember: whatever you're feeling or experiencing, you don't have to go through it alone.

You might feel lonely or sad, so it's important to talk to trusted people. It's important not to bottle things up because by speaking to others, they can help you to fix the problem – Bear, 12

Why should I talk to someone I know?

It's OK to feel unsure about talking about our mental health, feelings and experiences with someone we know. But sometimes, trying to cope with things alone can make us feel worse.

If we can talk to someone we know, this might help us to:

  • Feel like we're not on our own
  • Feel supported by people around us
  • Help other people understand what we're going through
  • Get support with practical things, like making appointments or helping with advocacy
  • Find out that other people have been through similar experiences
  • Look for suitable support for how we're feeling or what we're experiencing

You might not know what you're feeling or what you want to talk about yet, and that's OK. For more information, it might help to first read our page on  understanding your feelings.

Opening up to people about my wellbeing was scary at first, but it took such a weight off me to know that I wasn't alone. And it meant that my friends and family could give me more personal suggestions and support to help me with my wellbeing.

Why am I feeling worried about opening up?

It can be hard to talk about our mental health or difficult feelings. If we feel worried about sharing with people close to us, that's OK. Lots of reasons might hold us back from asking for help.

We might worry about or think that:

  • Someone might judge, label or misunderstand us
  • Someone might say we're ‘attention seeking’ or that we don't deserve help
  • We might put extra strain on people we care about, or on mental health services
  • People close to us might feel like we're a ‘burden’
  • We might experience toxic masculinity and be told to ‘man up’
  • Telling someone else might make things worse for us
  • People might not take our feelings seriously, or tell us they aren't important
  • People might act differently around us after we share how we feel
  • People might not take us seriously
  • Support might not be available or feel right for our needs
  • Our mental health might change or ruin our friendships

What is stigma?

Lots of us experience difficult feelings and mental health problems. But not everyone understands them.

When people don't understand, they might have negative beliefs, opinions and attitudes instead. They might also do or say things about mental health that feel hurtful or upsetting. This is called ‘stigma’.

We can also have stigma towards ourselves, where we feel ashamed about the problems we're going through. This is called ‘self-stigma’.

Experiencing stigma or self-stigma against mental health can stop us from:

  • Opening up to other people
  • Looking for support

But it's important to remember that you're not alone, and you don't have to put up with people treating you badly. There are ways to cope with stigma, challenge it and get support.

We have more information about what to do if people close to you don't understand.

Opening up to myself was an important first step. Being honest with myself about my feelings and accepting those feelings as valid has allowed me to feel more comfortable about talking to others.

When I did reach out, everyone I told was so supportive and I really wish I'd done it earlier – the prospect of it was so much scarier than the reality.

Who could I talk to about my mental health?

You might need time to decide who you want to open up to. At first, you might think there's nobody around who you feel able to share with. But try to think of someone you know who:

  • Is kind, understanding and a good listener
  • You feel safe around
  • Might have gone through a similar experience
  • Will be open to what you have to say
  • You feel comfortable talking to
  • Has supported you or other people before

Some of us might find it helpful talking to our parents, carers or guardians. Some of us might feel more comfortable sharing with other family members. Like siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles or grandparents. Or we might have friends or partners who could listen to us and understand.

Sometimes it might feel easier to talk to someone we're not as close to, or someone we're not related to, like:

  • Teachers
  • Staff at school, like counsellors, nurses, pastoral leads or teaching assistants
  • A doctor or GP
  • Youth club workers
  • Sports coaches
  • Social workers
  • Religious leaders or people from our faith group

It's OK if you feel uncomfortable at first. It can take time to build trust with people you know before sharing how you feel.

If someone doesn't understand, or is unsure how to help you, try talking to someone else. Everyone reacts differently and it's not your fault if they don't understand.

What if I don't have anyone to talk to?

If you don't feel like you can talk about mental health with anyone you know, you could look for another type of support.

Go to support options page

I have a friend who I opened up to, and even though they could not relate to my experience, they were still there for me and listened to me.

Think about if you want someone else involved

You might want to share with more than 1 person. For example, talking to siblings or telling friends in different groups.

If you share how you feel with more than 1 person you know, this might:

  • Widen your support network
  • Reduce pressure on just 1 person to support you
  • Help you practise talking about your mental health and support needs

Or you might want to involve different people in different ways, like:

  • Asking them about how you should open up to someone else
  • Asking them to help you write your feelings down
  • Getting them to talk for you, like asking a teacher to talk to your parents about how you're feeling

If you don't feel ready to open up to more than 1 person yet, that's OK. It can feel emotionally draining and bring up difficult feelings. You might also worry that they might tell someone else.

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Remember: there's no right or wrong amount of people you should tell. What matters is feeling safe and supported to talk whenever you're ready.

Think about where you're sharing

If you're talking to someone online or on social media, it's important to be aware of your information being shared without your consent.

You might want to ask yourself questions like:

  • Do I want to share in a group chat or send a direct message to someone?
  • Would the person I'm telling screenshot my message or send it to other people?
  • If I'm posting online, are my account settings public or private? Is my account secure?

Always think about what you feel comfortable sharing before you do it. You can find more information about staying safe online on the Childline website.

When should I open up to someone I know?

There's no right or wrong time to talk about mental health. We can share how we're feeling at any time – we don't have to wait for it to get worse. The sooner we open up, the sooner we might be able to get support.

You might want to think about opening up to someone if you're:

  • Struggling to cope with how you feel
  • Going through or have been through something difficult
  • Not feeling like your usual self
  • Finding it hard to cope with everyday life, like doing your usual routines or managing schoolwork
  • Noticing changes in your sleep and energy levels
  • Noticing changes in your eating behaviours or appetite
  • Finding that the way you feel is starting to affect your relationships

Whatever you're going through, you don't need to cope on your own. If you feel ready to talk, we have tips to help you start the conversation.

You don't need to feel you have a mental health problem to reach out, you should reach out at any time you feel low.

Decide on the way you want to open up

You might want to talk in person if you can. But if this feels too difficult, you could also try:

  • Talking on the phone
  • Talking over a videocall
  • Sending a voice note

If you don't want to speak, or don't feel like talking to anyone right now, that's OK. There are other ways to express how you're feeling. You could try:

  • Sending a text or email
  • Writing a letter
  • Drawing or painting a picture to show how you feel
  • Sending information about how you feel, like a video on TikTok or YouTube

Find a good time to talk

It might never feel like the best time to open up, but the most important thing is that you feel ready. You might want to choose a time when you're both free for a while and won't be interrupted.

If you decide to talk to someone face-to-face, choose a place where you both feel comfortable. You could also speak to them while doing something together, like eating, tidying up or watching TV.

If you don't feel ready to talk in person, take time to write things down or type a message. Make a start when you feel relaxed and can think things through. You could come back to it later or read through it a few times before arranging to talk to someone you know.

The best time I've found to speak is when doing something else, like walking, to ease the pressure of looking at someone face-to-face.

Think about how to start the conversation

To have a conversation about mental health and difficult feelings, you might feel more confident if you know how to start it.

To start the conversation with someone you know, you could say:

  • “This is difficult for me to talk about, but I need to tell you something.”
  • “I've got some things on my mind, can we talk sometime?”
  • “I've been feeling ____ lately, and I'm trying to tell you about it because ____”.
  • “I've been worried about ____ recently and wondered if I could talk to you about it?”
  • “I've been finding it hard to cope with ____ at the moment. Can we talk about it?”
  • “I know it might seem like things are OK, but they're not and I want to talk to you about it.”

Or if anyone you know has been going through something similar, you could talk about them first to help explain how you feel.

Try practising what you want to say in your head, writing it down or sending yourself a voice note.

What could I share with them?

It's up to us what we want to share with people we know. We don't need to tell them everything about how we feel if we don't want to. Especially if we have a lot going on.

You might want to tell them about:

You might not feel ready to share everything the first time you talk. And you might need to take time between conversations. Especially if they don't understand right away.

Tell them what they could do to help

After you've shared how you feel, they could help with your mental health in different ways. You could ask them to:

  • Offer emotional support, like listening to you and giving you reassurance
  • Check in more regularly on how you're feeling
  • Talk to your school, college or workplace about your needs
  • Help you to look for mental health support, like speaking to a helpline or doctor
  • Make or come with you to appointments, or sit in the waiting room to be there after your appointment

When you first open up, you might not know how someone could help you, and that's OK. You can ask them to learn more about the types of problems you're going though. This might help them think about ways they could support you.

After I told my mum I felt so much better, I was no longer alone with my illness. Instead, we were a team, and I had someone to face things with. This included making an action plan for struggling when I was at home, and what to do when I was out, at school and in other settings.

Tell them what feels unhelpful

You can't control how people will respond when you open up about mental health. It's hard to know how someone will react, even someone close to you.

But you can suggest things to them that you wouldn't find helpful, like:

  • Interrupting while you're sharing. Ask them to be patient and give you time to explain how you're feeling.
  • Telling other people. If they do need to tell someone else, ask them to be clear about who they'll tell, when and why.
  • Treating you differently because of your mental health, or avoiding talking to you about it.
  • Asking too often about your feelings or things you've shared. Try to be clear when you want to talk to them again about your mental health.
  • Asking questions that make you uncomfortable, especially if they don't know a lot about mental health or have different views.

Because this 1 person reacted negatively doesn't mean everyone will. This also doesn't mean that you don't deserve the support you need.

What if they tell other people?

After talking to someone you know about your mental health, you'll probably want them to keep this private. But they might need to tell someone else if they:

  • Are worried about your safety. They might want to tell your parent, carer, guardian, teacher or doctor to make sure you're safe.
  • Want to help you find professional support. This support could come from your doctor or a referral to a service like CAMHS.
  • Need support for themselves. They might need some extra help to cope with what you've told them.

It might help to explain why you don't want others to find out. Ask them to let you know if they plan to tell anyone else.

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It can put a lot of pressure on someone if you share and then ask them to promise they'll keep it secret.

If they're worried about you and aren't sure what they should do, they might need to talk to someone else for support.

Remember you can ask them if they need to tell and their reasons for doing this.

When might someone share what I've told them?

If we share how we feel with certain people, in some situations they might need to tell others.

Go to confidentiality info

What if people close to me don't understand?

Sometimes we don't get the reaction we want when we tell others how we're feeling. We all have different understandings of mental health, because of things like:

  • Culture
  • Religion
  • Personal experiences and life events
  • Experiences with healthcare, especially if we've experienced discrimination
  • Opinions and attitudes of people around us

Sometimes, people in our community have views or opinions about mental health that feel very different from ours. This can make it harder to talk about how we're feeling.

It's not your job to teach people around you about mental health, but you could use our information to help you explain. You can show or send them our pages on:

If they continue to not understand or support you, you can find lots of other options on our types of support page.

Just because someone doesn't understand where your feelings are coming from, doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. Mental health affects everyone, regardless of their background.

Not everyone will understand and you can't force people to think a certain way, but it's not your responsibility to make people understand as well. It's your job to manage yourself as much as you can.

Give them time

If they don't understand or don't take you seriously, it's not your fault. At first, they might need time to think about what you've told them.

They might not need or want to hear every detail now, but in time, you might be able to open up to them more. Remember that the first time you share with them doesn't have to be the last.

If you feel hurt, it might help to try talking to someone else. If possible, plan to come back to the conversation with them when they feel ready. Or you could try a different way of opening up.

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Remember: opening up about your mental health can be a long process, it's not always 1 conversation. And what we need from people close to us can change over time.

It is never your fault if someone doesn't understand – Jumi, 17

Offer useful information or examples

You might've seen something on TV, social media or in a book that feels like what you're experiencing. Showing this to them might help explain how you're feeling.

For example, you could say “have you been watching the TV series about ____”, or “what do you think about the character who's experiencing ____”. Or you could share content with them on social media that relates to what you're going through.

If it feels helpful, you could show or send them our information pages on:

Although it is not my job to educate people, I have found that some people are more likely to understand what I'm saying if I provide them with some facts or resources related to the issue.

Think about what helps you cope

Sharing your feelings with people you know can be really difficult when they don't understand. Before, during or after you open up, you can try different ideas to help you cope.

If you feel:

Try a breathing exercise where you breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 2 counts, and breathe out for 7 counts.

Look at a picture or listen to a song that makes you feel calm.

Play with a fidget toy, turn off lights or use headphones to block out noise.

Try to self-soothe and do something you enjoy to distract yourself.

Look for other ways to get support, like getting peer support online. 

Focus on what's around you and try to say 1 thing for each of your 5 senses – see, hear, touch, smell and taste.

Write a list about what's making you feel stressed, then highlight things in your control.

Make plans to take care of yourself after opening up

Talking about your mental health can sometimes feel upsetting and tiring. Especially if the conversation was difficult and you didn't feel understood.

Before opening up, plan a self-care activity in advance. This might help if the conversation doesn't go how you'd hoped. You could plan to:

  • Do something you enjoy. Like watching your favourite TV show or going for a walk in a place you like.
  • Ground yourself. If there's a lot going on, try taking a moment to stop and focus on what's around you. Spending time outside in nature can help your mental and physical wellbeing.
  • Check in on how you're feeling. Ask yourself what your needs are right now, or try our emotions wheel activity. This PDF will open in a new tab.
  • Relax. Look up mindfulness activities to try, or meditate, pray or journal.
  • Connect with others. You can get online peer support from forums like The Mix Community and Childline Message Boards.

For more ideas on how to look after yourself and cope with difficult feelings, see our wellbeing tips.

Are there other types of mental health support?

If opening up to someone you know doesn't feel right, there are other ways to get support for how you feel.

Go to support options page

Published: March 2026
Next review planned: March 2029

We spoke to young people who agreed to give quotes for this page. Their experiences are not related to the people shown in the photos.

References are available on request. If you want to reproduce this content, see our permissions and licensing page.

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