How I’m finding purpose through peer support
Thomas talks about his experiences of intrusive thoughts. And how he has found purpose and meaning through his struggles.
When I was a child, I didn’t have the words to describe what was happening in my mind. Around the age of 13 I began to experience distressing symptoms. I remember going to the cinema one day to watch a film with my family, and realising I couldn’t concentrate on the movie any more.
“I was consumed by intrusive thoughts and images that felt impossible to switch off.”
Nobody could tell but I was consumed by intrusive thoughts and images that felt impossible to switch off. While the rest of my family were watching a film of their choice, mine was involuntary.
Not long after, I watched my grandmother slip into psychosis. I knew she took medication to keep herself stable, but I hadn’t fully understood what schizophrenia meant. Watching her recover through inpatient treatment, I began to put the pieces together, thinking about my family history and how it might link to my own mind.
It wasn’t until I got to university that I broke down. Those same thought cycles were louder than ever, and I finally took myself to the GP.
Eventually, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), mixed anxiety and depressive disorder, and things began to make more sense. I enrolled in group therapy, and slowly the world began to open up again.
“I began having conversations with fellow group members about our experiences, and over time I started to feel less alone.”
Through both group OCD therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) sessions, I began having conversations with fellow group members about our experiences. They shared thoughts and feelings similar to my own, and over time I started to feel less alone.
The CBT and DBT techniques didn’t solve everything, but they helped me realise there is power in lived experience and shared understanding.
I went on to work as a support worker for four years. While there were times I shared parts of my story, I often felt I had to be careful.
Even though I was supporting others with mental health challenges, there was still a boundary I had to uphold. I was the “professional”, and it felt as though sharing my own experiences too openly would blur that line.
Through my local recovery college I learned about peer support. I came across a form online and decided to apply.
Soon after, I was interviewed for a place on the training scheme. I was accepted and began my journey, starting my Level 3 Peer Support Worker course.
“Lived experience doesn’t have to be something to hide, but something that can be used to support others.”
For a long time, my attitude towards my mental health was that it was a deficit; something that took away from my ability to be productive, to cope and to move forward in life. But through peer support, I began to see things differently. I started to understand that lived experience doesn’t have to be something to hide, but something that can be used with care to support others.
My course group was inspiring. I saw people employed across different services using their experience as their expertise. I felt less alone, and I began to reframe my own struggles as a resource I could use to help others.
It’s amazing how much lighter things began to feel once I recognised this. I realised that I don’t need to overcome my mental health to contribute value.
I still have difficult days, recovery isn’t linear, but those days aren’t evidence that I’ve failed.
Alongside my peer support training, I’ve also found support through my local Mind. My nearby crisis café offers a place to speak openly when needed, and it’s been helpful not just for me, but for friends who are facing their own challenges too.
Having reached the end of my course, I feel hopeful about the possibilities ahead. There are so many ways I could give back through the principles I’ve learned, and that feels really exciting.
For anyone reading, remember that you have something to give. Purpose has a funny way of appearing in quiet, unexpected places.
While I’m still figuring out mine, I now know that my experiences won’t stop me moving forward. They are part of how I understand the world, and I will take them with me wherever I go.
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