How to support someone with hypomania or mania

It can be hard to know how to support someone with hypomania or mania. You may not know how to react, or what to do for the best. But there are lots of things you can do to help.

Ask what you can do

Ask them questions about their experiences and listen to what they have to say. By talking openly, you can learn more about what things are like for them.

This can also help to build trust. If they feel comfortable talking about their experiences, they may feel more able to ask for help.

They will often have an idea of what helps them and what doesn't.

If they don't know, you could offer to help by exploring options together.

Let them know if you're worried

If you're worried that they are becoming unwell, address this with them gently. Try to stay calm and avoid criticising or accusing them.

You could explain that you've noticed changes in their behaviour and why it concerns you. Ask if they've noticed it too. If this has happened before, remind them of this and explain the pattern you see.

If they say they're fine, you could suggest that you see how things go. And talk about it again in a few days.

Discuss challenging behaviour

If someone is unwell, they may not see difficult behaviour as a problem.

It's OK for you to set boundaries. For example, that you'll end the conversation if they're rude or aggressive with you. Or that you won't take part in any plans that you're worried might end badly.

Try not to make assumptions

You'll probably look out for signs that they're experiencing mania or hypomania.

This is completely understandable. But try not to assume that any change in mood is a sign that someone is unwell. Talking to them is the best way to check.

Anyone can behave in many different ways, or have different moods or feelings, while still feeling stable overall.

Acknowledge their experiences

If they experience mania, they might see, hear or believe things that you don't. If this happens, it might feel confusing for you. They might also feel angry or confused that you don't share their beliefs or experiences.

Try to remember that what feels real for them is real in those moments. It might help to:

• Stay as calm as you can

• Let them know that, although you don't share the belief, you understand that it feels real for them

• Focus on supporting them with how they are feeling, rather than confirming or challenging their reality

Even though my hallucinations aren't objectively real, the terror is just as intense.

Make a plan together

You could help them plan the support you can offer during a hypomanic or manic episode. This can help you both feel more prepared for what might happen.

You could discuss ideas such as:

• Helping them think about whether they're taking too much on

• Helping them manage money while they're unwell

• Helping them keep a routine, including regular meals and sleeping patterns

• Enjoying being creative together

Learn their triggers and warning signs

When they're feeling well, you could talk to them about their triggers and warning signs.

Support them to avoid things that might trigger an episode. And keep an eye out for warning signs.

See our information on living with hypomania and mania to find out more about triggers and warning signs.

Plan for a crisis

It might help to make a crisis plan that explains what to do if they become unwell.

This could include how to spot the signs of a crisis, who to contact and what you can do to help. And you could discuss what might be a sign that they need to go to hospital.

You can agree the plan in advance, and both keep a written copy.

Be supportive after an episode

If someone has been unwell, they may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their behaviour.

Reassure them that you understand this behaviour is part of their hypomania or mania.

You could offer to help them sort things out, if they need it. For example, by supporting them with their finances or their relationships.

Our information on how to support someone with bipolar disorder might also help.

Help them access support

Getting the right care and support can be difficult and frustrating.

You could offer to research treatments, self-care ideas or local support groups. Or you could help them find a mental health advocate.

Look after yourself

It can be challenging to support someone who is unwell. And it's common to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Try to remember to look after your own mental health:

• Set boundaries and don't take too much on. If you become unwell, you might not be able to offer as much support. It can also help to be realistic about how much support you can offer. 

• Share your caring role with others, if you can. It's often easier to support someone if you're not doing it alone.

• Talk to others about how you're feeling. This doesn't mean you have to share details about the person you support. But talking about your own feelings with someone you trust can help you feel supported too.

See our pages on how to cope when caring for someone else for more suggestions.