I'm Jenny, and I've suffered from depression for many years. I want to speak about mental health as much as possible to raise awareness in the hope that other people might recognise how I feel and know they’re not alone.
People might look at me from the outside and think that I’m not alone if there are people around me, but sometimes that doesn’t matter – in my head I feel like I’m alone in a bubble. My depression feels like a black cloud, constantly over me. Everyone else seems alright and happy, but everything I look at seems so grey. I can’t see the positive.
It wasn’t just being around friends that I would feel of isolated. I come from large family with two brothers and two sisters, so there were a lot of us in the house. But even then it could still seem that I was incredibly alone.
My youngest sister would try to cheer me up by drawing me pictures to help me get well. It was quite difficult for her to understand why I wasn’t happy. And over time friends have drifted away. I have a few friends who stuck by me, they would visit. Some still send texts if I’m not feeling great.
You don’t want people to treat you differently because you’re not well. You want them to come and have a moan about their day at work, but also to listen to you and not judge you. You just want someone to be there. You might not always show you appreciate it, but that’s part of the illness.
We're here to make sure everyone with a mental health problem has somewhere to turn for advice and support
One thing that helps me is all the information I can get from Mind. With Mind you can connect to many people who feel similar to you. I’m a member and I get the emails and the magazine that I’ve found really useful.
When I first got diagnosed you think ‘What on earth does that diagnosis mean?’ and I found a lot of the information on the website really useful, especially about personality disorders. You can read about medications and things like that too.