Real lives
Three men talk about their experiences of mental health problems
Derek
My name is Derek. I have experienced depression for 20 years. My GP prescribed me anti depressants, but I didn't like to take them as it meant accepting the fact I have a mental health problem. As a man, I bought into the stigma. I thought admitting to having a mental illness was a sign of weakness especially given my cultural back ground.
Refusing to face up to my problems did not help and I spent over three years in a very dark depressed state. I barely left the house and just sat at home and vegetated. Thanks to the help of my wonderful mum and sister, plus a very supportive GP, I realised that unless I made a change I would be stuck at home for the rest of my life. I started to take my antidepressants and also began to attend counselling at my local Mind association in Hackney.
Two years on and my life has completely turned around. Attending my local Mind association has really helped to boost my self esteem and given my life direction again. I now help to chair one of our groups and feel like a positive person again.
Steve
My name is Steve. I used to be a primary school head teacher but after being diagnosed with clinical depression my life and career disintegrated. I found it very hard to accept that I had a mental health problem - in some ways I still haven't.
Some days I say to myself 'you're not mentally ill, you just need to pull yourself together.' As men we are supposed to be able to cope, to survive and manage all the things that life throws at us.
After visiting the drop in centre at my local Mind association I realised that I was not alone, lots of people have mental health problems and there is no shame in that.
I am now enrolled in a cognitive behavioural therapy course at my local Mind association and I have access to all the information I need to help me if I start to feel low again. I still have down days but I now know how to deal with them and get more out of life.
By donating to Mind you will be helping them to carry out the fantastic and life saving work that has helped to turn around my life and many more people like me.
Jagadish
My name is Jagadish. In 1993 I was diagnosed with a non violent personality disorder. At the same time I lost my job of 27 years. At the age of 53 and with the label 'personality disorder' attached to me, I found it impossible to get another job. I found being out of work demoralising and tried to avoid the rest of the human race. I became isolated and didn't know how to cope with either my mental health problems or redundancy.
Men are conditioned from childhood to believe that 'boy's don't cry' and this carries on into adulthood where we try to project a macho image. I bought into the idea of this image and found it hard to seek help.
In 1995 my life turned around when I found Mind and joined Newham Mind's Asian Men's Group. The men's group gave me a sense of belonging. I am able to talk about things without feeling embarrassed or discriminated against. We exchange ideas and information and gain strength from each other. My mental health problems are now much better.