Starting to look to the future

Posted Monday 7 January 2013

Some months ago, I wrote about coming through a really awful period of depression. I was lucky enough then, to be able to say how well I felt, albeit aware that the depression was something I had to learn to live with.

So, I’m really pleased to say that here I am, still well and contented – and off anti-depressants. My GP also sees no reason for me to keep seeing her on such a regular basis. It’s just great to feel so good – and I’m slowly building up my freelance business, as well.

But – there’s a ‘but’. I do sometimes feel a bit of a rudderless ship – I’m no longer the centre of attention! Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled beyond words that my beloved sons are no longer in a state of constant concern about me. I can see my friends and the conversation no longer revolves around me and my problems. But, I’m very aware that it’s still early days. Twelve months ago, I was really being dragged down by the depression, and I sometimes can’t believe how far I’ve come since then.

Every day is still a bit of a challenge because, if I’m honest, I am scared that the depression could descend at any time. I do, however, have a ‘box of tricks’ which I think may help others too. They include:

• Daily meditation
• Physical exercise
• Choral singing
• Working on my allotment
• Giving up alcohol
• Having the support of my family, friends and GP

For me, the support of friends and family is one of the most important things. I really think that if I begin to have a dip again, I will shout out for help. I certainly won’t ignore any warning signs as I’ve done in the past.

Terms like ‘learning curve’ and ‘being on a journey’ are too glibly thrown around, but I have been taught a lot about myself and somehow the experience has changed me – for the better, I hope.

I’d love to think that in 12 months’ time, I’ll be writing that I’m still well, the kids are thriving and business is booming. We shall see. In the meantime, I am really proud of how far I've come.

Gill

Gill also has her own blog and website where you can read more about what she's been up to.

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3 Comments

• Paul replied on 9 Jan 2013 at 10:36

  Gill, many thanks for writing this. As an occasional Mind blogger myself, I'm really grateful that you took the time to write about your experiences.

  Specifically, I was wondering if you could elaborate on your relationship with alcohol. I gave up alcohol as part of my own dealings with mental illness, for about 2 years. I wasn't abusing alcohol at all - I just found that it wasn't being helpful to my situation and so I cut it out completely. Have you given up for specific reasons and is it part of your own healing process?

  Again, huge thanks for your honesty and taking the time to write.

• Gill replied on 10 Jan 2013 at 09:23

  Hi Paul

  I was drinking too much, for sure. I gave up completely nearly a year ago and, I would say, it is very much part of my healing process.

  For me, it is part of learning to look after myself properly. I now also eat much better than I did, and exercise regularly. I'm learning all the time about what works to keep me balanced - and alchohol knocks me off-balance!

• Phil replied on 14 Jan 2013 at 08:34

  I have a toolbox of things to do or think about if I feel I am dipping again. It does help to prevent a bigger drop in mood. I also like many used alcohol, nothing extreme, but have noticed when I do abstain thoughts and positive thinking are much easier to maintain well-being.
  The biggest issue I have is 'others' lack of understanding as though I am some poor vulnerable creature unable to manage when times are bad. Changing that perception would greatly improve the condition I live with.