Starting to look to the future
Posted Monday 7 January 2013
Some months ago, I wrote about coming through a really awful period of depression. I was lucky enough then, to be able to say how well I felt, albeit aware that the depression was something I had to learn to live with.
So, I’m really pleased to say that here I am, still well and contented – and off anti-depressants. My GP also sees no reason for me to keep seeing her on such a regular basis. It’s just great to feel so good – and I’m slowly building up my freelance business, as well.
But – there’s a ‘but’. I do sometimes feel a bit of a rudderless ship – I’m no longer the centre of attention! Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled beyond words that my beloved sons are no longer in a state of constant concern about me. I can see my friends and the conversation no longer revolves around me and my problems. But, I’m very aware that it’s still early days. Twelve months ago, I was really being dragged down by the depression, and I sometimes can’t believe how far I’ve come since then.
Every day is still a bit of a challenge because, if I’m honest, I am scared that the depression could descend at any time. I do, however, have a ‘box of tricks’ which I think may help others too. They include:
- Daily meditation
- Physical exercise
- Choral singing
- Working on my allotment
- Giving up alcohol
- Having the support of my family, friends and GP
For me, the support of friends and family is one of the most important things. I really think that if I begin to have a dip again, I will shout out for help. I certainly won’t ignore any warning signs as I’ve done in the past.
Terms like ‘learning curve’ and ‘being on a journey’ are too glibly thrown around, but I have been taught a lot about myself and somehow the experience has changed me – for the better, I hope.
I’d love to think that in 12 months’ time, I’ll be writing that I’m still well, the kids are thriving and business is booming. We shall see. In the meantime, I am really proud of how far I've come.
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