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Studying with depression
Posted Friday 19 October 2012
I'm a student. I've done one year of university so far, and I still have another 3 to go, including a year abroad. A professor in my department once made a remark about to me saying that there should be a guide to being a student with depression. That stuck in my head. So I'm going to tell my own story, and describe the problems I've faced, and how I have dealt with them.
Fresher’s week
For someone with depression, the prospect of moving somewhere where you know nobody, and living with strangers is terrifying. I would imagine this would be a difficult for anyone, with or without a mental health problem.
Sometimes socialising is difficult for me. In Fresher’s week I found the best thing I could do was be myself. I socialised when I could and when I couldn't; I didn’t. They tell you to make as many friends as possible, and join in with as much as possible. The key words being "as much as possible", rather than "everything".
The course
I'm sure 99.9% of students would agree that 9.00 am lectures are horrible things. I had trouble sleeping, so waking up to get to a lecture at 9, 10 or even 11 seemed very difficult at times. I tried to keep my attendance as high as possible, but there were times when I physically didn't have the energy or motivation to leave my room. I then set myself targets. If I got up to go to an early lecture, I could go back to sleep afterwards. Or I would go to at least 2 of my 3 lectures that day.
My course work assignments always came at the worst possible times, when my mood was low. When this happened I spoke to a member of my department. I was given a week's extension on one of my essays and lab reports. Although the extra time didn't help me feel better, or concentrate any more, it took the time pressure off, which meant that I got it done.
I also found it helpful having close friends on my course. Of course these can be difficult to come by, but I had to come out of my comfort zone and talk to random people on my course - everyone else is new and nervous too.
Societies
Societies are a great way to make friends. If you're a bit shy/ anxious like me, it will take a lot of courage to go to a society's meeting, but once you've done it you'll have made friends and be proud of your achievement. It's also good because you'll find people who are interested in the same things as you.
Going out
As a person who has occasional panic attacks, going out can be challenging. It’s also the last thing you want to do when you are feeling very low. After a while I found a solution: If I didn't feel up to going out, I didn't go! It was an amazing revelation for me as I tend to do what other people want me to do, for fear of letting people down. After experiencing a panic attack on a night out, I also learnt to remove myself from a situation if I started to become anxious, like moving out of the crowd.
People
I found that most people were very understanding; I spoke to my housemates about my depression and anxiety, and they did their best to help when they could. A lot of people don't know what to say, but to be perfectly honest, listening is the best thing they can do.
It’s also useful to acquaint yourself with some of the staff members of your department. I was worried that I would be judged, but I found the staff members I spoke to very helpful, and I was certainly not the first to have spoken to them about these things. The worst thing is to try to handle everything by yourself; if no one knows about your problems, they can't help.
Doctors can prescribe antidepressants and offer you alternative treatments such as counselling. It's good to see the same doctor each time, as they will grow to know you and your symptoms. Counsellors can also be useful in your battle with mental health issues, and I think most universities have a counselling service.
With a lot of hard work and support from others, I am proud to say that I got through my first year with a First! Now, after a summer to relax, I am ready to go back to university and face a whole new set of challenges in my second year.
I am hoping that over time I will feel better, but for now I'm just doing the best I can and remember to ask for help when I need it.
Anxious Elephant
Read more from Anxious Elephant on their blog.
Starting a new university or college course can be really daunting, if you're struggling to cope, you can get in touch with our infoline on 0300 123 3393 who can help you find the support you need.
6 Comments
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This is a really great, personal thought-provoking account, and you can tell its certainly heartfelt. I went through a similar experience - I battled a long continuous major depressive episode when I did my post-grad course. The depression itself was exacerbated by the continuous pressure that was on me to perform - I was on a one year course and the timing couldn't have been worse. I felt that I hadn't got time to get help and treatment because I had so much work to get through. I had to be at my best right then and bring my A-game with me every single day - if I fluffed my chances that was it. End of the road. There would be no second chanes to resit or do-over. To make matters worse I ended up moving out of my student acomodation - my housemates were odious, vile people who took an instant dislike to me. Being away from home and battling depression certainly piled on the added pressure. Eventually I returned home early, but that made thing worse not better - I felt a failure. I told everyone I was moving away and ha invested all my hopes in this fresh start. I then retuned home with my tail in between my legs, it was humiliating and I had to give up my part time job which I loved. I was having to give up my independence. Returning home was also not the saving grace I had hoped for - my home was a hostile environment, my parents were going through a messy divorce and I felt even more isolated despite the fact I was home. Eventually in December I took an overdose and was taken to hospital to get my stomach pumped. I was guilt ridden - my mum was distraught, my friends had grown tired of my irrational, irksome behaviour. I has obviously screaming out for help but my family and friends did know how to help me. Eventually in January I began counselling, got psychiatric support and medication which helped me maintain my lucidity to study etc and helped to not let the depressive thoughs overwhelm me. I took extensions on my assignments which took the pressure off.
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Felt compelled to reply to your post. Well done on your achievements in the first year! Have you also applied for the Disabled Students Allowance as well? This will give you further support which could be as simple as a voice recorder for those days when you don't feel like writing to a mentor to keep you on track and even extra time in exams. It does take time for an assessment to take place, but is worth it in the end.
I mention this because I have suffered from depression for a number of years and recently completed a degree in 2010. Like you, I engaged with classes/colleagues when I could and took care of myself when I didn't feel so great. I found the mentor aspect really helped me as I was also caring for an elderly relative in my final year and this was really disrupting my studies. The mentor pushed me to talk to the correct academic support officer who helped with deadlines. Feeling that someone is really listening is so helpful when it gets on top of you, especially when dealing with practicalities.
Good luck with the rest of your studies, I really wish you well.
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You did better than me! Well done :-) I just about scraped first year, and started second year on a high. After semester 1, I took a medical leave of absence, due to my depression. I was behind on all work, stressed about everything (uni, work, money, family, career, work experience, my health, boys...) so I made the decision to leave. 7 months on and I'm gearing up to return in January! I've had counselling but don't think it's helped and I'm on medication.
From my own experience, they best way to get through uni with a mental health issue is to talk to people. Use your personal and welfare tutors, use your student support team, use your friends, don't be afraid to open up to people and say you need help. I wouldn't have ever gotten through first year, or the start of second, if it wasn't for my friends taking extra notes and talking through assessments with me when I needed it. Uni is not easy!
Having taken this year out, I feel better prepared for what's going to happen when I return, and I feel more sure and positive about my future. I have a brilliant support network that I use often, but I didn't get it without asking.
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Anyway this summer I got a new personal tutor she was just what I needed - supportive and motivational, but she said 'enough with the kid gloves'. She gradually began reinstating the pressure and workload for me, it gave me the kick I needed. I think the 'softly, softly' approach they gave me had made me complacent. I manage to submit my work for the revised deadline and came out with a grade 1. I'm now excelling in my chosen career and have been asked to write a book now! My tutor taught me that even though I had gone through this horrible nightmare I had to get back in the saddle. So what would I say the key to beating depression at university is? 1) perseverance and 2) persistence. Treat each day as it comes, use the support mechanisms at your disposal, and no matter how busy you are or how up against it, always make time for yourself and put your health first. This will lead to 3) prevailance. It isn't an easy ride - my class mates mate cutting remarks. Some thought I was lazy and off a lot of the time because I was lazy. You just have to take that on the chin and let it go. People will always condo what they don't understand. In the end the key to tacking depressive illness is self-reliance and self-awareness. Be aware of your flaws but don't wish them away - celebrate them. We all have them - it's part and parcel of being human. Depressive illness is a lonely journey because only we have the answers to our problems within us. We are our own jailers but we also possess the keys to our figurative prisons. Keep telling yourself 'It will get better' because it isn't a myth - it genuinely will! And when all is said and done it's true what they say: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
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Go for it and you will achieve your goal. I completed my degree in 2000 and never thought I would make it with time off with depression and juggeling other elements of Bipolar. I gained a 2:1 and the support I received was really good from lecturers especially in allowing extra time when required. I even did my dissertation on the impact and causes of stigma in mental health and actually now work in that field.
I strill live with my condition and sometimes it rears its ugly head but somehow we pull through and I am sure you will reach your goal. -
Hi,
I just wanted to email you and tell you how much this article has helped. I myself am a fresher with depression and anxiety. It's just good to know there is someone there who feels the same.
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