Close
Mind homeLatestMind blog

A tough transition

Posted Thursday 27 September 2012

Turning 18, becoming an adult, is a momentous occasion for everyone. For me, it was more so than most. It meant that after 4 years, I had to leave the child mental health services (CAMHS) and move to the adult mental health services. This was scary for me. At CAMHS I had become comfortable, they knew me and I knew them. The environment was warm and welcoming, the staff smiled and they were there whenever I needed them. After being diagnosed with depression at 13, CAMHS played a large part in my development as a teen and growth into an adult.

It was at CAMHS where I had hour long cognitive behaviour therapy sessions, as often as I needed them. Through these I developed an understanding of my depression, how it was affecting me and my life. I learnt a lot about myself and how I coped in different situations, and I learnt how to cope with my illness. Looking back, I don’t know if I appreciated at the time how lucky I was to receive such treatment and how much of a positive impact it was having on me.

When I got my first appointment at the adult mental health service, I didn't really know what to expect. I arrived at a cold and miserable looking building. I walked in and I couldn't see many staff. I announced my arrival with the receptionist who ushered me towards some seats in a room. In that room were other patients with severe mental health issues. It was a very emotional place to be. The people being treated seemed a lot more ill than me, and I wasn’t sure if I was in the right place. I sat there terrified, wanting to run away. I waited and waited. It was 40 minutes before a lady came into the waiting room, with large bags under her eyes, looking exhausted and stressed. When she called my name I realised the lady was my doctor.

I was led down a corridor to an equally dark room, with a small vase of flowers, which I was surprised to see were still alive. The doctor didn't smile. She didn't apologise for running late. I realised that I was not going to get reassurance that all would be well from the doctor, so I sat quietly whilst she got my notes. She took very little time to get my background. I was in and out in 10 minutes, not really knowing what we had discussed. I felt like I had been punished for her lateness with a short appointment. Only to find out you can only get a 10/20 minute slot. I don't find it is enough time at the GP surgery, so at the mental health services I certainly felt robbed. I left that day bewildered, with a prescription for new medication to try.

Thankfully, I had been in the system long enough and knew the only way to ensure I did not need to be reliant on the service for too long was to get better. So I swore to myself that I would get better, so I would only have to return once or twice before being discharged. And I did.

I count myself incredibly lucky that I had such willpower and determination to not let the horrifying situation destroy me, but to build me. Instead of feeling in despair that I may truly be a hopeless case who would never get better, I put all I had learnt at the child mental health services into practice and stabilised for over a year – my longest period of stabilisation since diagnosis. 

However, I can imagine some are not so lucky and may not know any different from what they see on their first visit to a health service. If they had been faced with what I had, would they have been able to help themselves get better like I did? I know I was lucky. And I must note that many consider the health service I visited to be very good and I have visited two other adult mental health services in different cities since and had much better treatment and care. 

Anna

You can follow Anna on Twitter @agmorris1 or @deamonandme

You can find out more about community-based mental health services, and about talking treatments, on the information and advice pages of our website. 

<  Return to mind blog

4 Comments

  • Rhi replied on 27 Sep 2012 at 15:35

    Well done for getting better. A friend of mine went from child to adult mental health services and didn't manage to deal with the change or her problems. I had no idea how different the two services were and how hard it must've been for her.

  • Gwynne replied on 27 Sep 2012 at 21:22

    My cousin has suffered with depression for almost a decade now and she has her ups and downs. There are times when she has been well and times when she is down again.

    The times when she is cleared as well are, for me, real moments of pride. I cannot comprehend the strength of character that it must take to do as Anna has done to beat her monster.

    The times when she is down again I trust my cousin completely to call an expert or her family or both, to be able to handle her own care and once more bring herself back on track. What I fear is that people who don't have previous experience of excellent health care support, or such a family support group look to places like this Adult Mental Health Services. While I know that they helped Anna in the end and I'm sure that they are in fact an excellent facility, I believe that more support for the doctors and nurses and mental health care groups is paramount to working against this cruel disease.

    As for Anna, thank you for publishing this article. I hope it helps even just one of the 1 in 4 who suffer.

  • Ellie replied on 4 Oct 2012 at 10:54

    I had similar experiences. Having been diagnosed with depression at 16, i spent two years in and out of hospitals and cahms appointments. When i turned 18 i dreaded it, and this was made worse by my care co-ordinator confirming my fears. Because i also had anxiety i had found it hard to speak in meetings, which was alright when i was 16/17 as my mum would put my thoughts forward for me, however when in meetings with adult services, she wasnt allowed to and i frlt that they didnt want to/ didnt know anything about me. I was determind to get better and not have to see them again, and after 4 months i got myself better with outside agency cbt and i was discharged from their services. I still havr my ups and downs 8 months on, but one of thr main things keeping me on track is not wanting to go back to them

  • Jasmin replied on 16 Oct 2012 at 09:27

    I have attended cahms where I received CBT for about 2 years aswell as other child mental health groups, it was at cahms where I had a lovely therapist who was so easy to talk to and who really helped. Unfortunately after being discharged I fell back into old habits and am now housebound with my anxieties. I've been referred to the adult mental health team as I'm now 19 and although this post has made me really worry about my appointment, I atleast will be prepared as to what to expect, so thank you for that. It's a shame you can't receive the same care at the adult services as you do with the child services :(

Commenting is now closed.

You might also like…

Filter by category