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Living with Bipolar
Posted Thursday 30 August 2012
I didn’t have any history of mental health problems until 2002, when I had depression and was prescribed Prozac. A year later, a series of events led me to become “manic and psychotic.” My relationship ended, I moved house, I experienced bullying at work for four years and I was promoted.
When I first became ‘hyper’ neither me or my friends thought that anything was wrong, as I had always been very lively and active. My boss realised that something was wrong and called my parents in order to take me to the doctors.
At this time, my mania led me to believe that I was immortal and the sister of Jesus. Because of this mania I was given drugs to bring me down, but the high dosage caused me to become very depressed and I was hospitalised for six weeks. It was at this stage my bipolar disorder was diagnosed. After leaving hospital I lived with my parents, where I didn’t leave my bed for two weeks and stopped eating. It took me the next eight months to get better after care and encouragement from my step dad and my mum.
I returned to my job as an office manager but found that my colleagues’ attitude to me changed. They didn’t know how to respond. They seemed to be walking on egg shells around me and were unsure about the kind of work that they should give me. My boss started to scrutinise my work and to undermine me. I left the company soon after.
I experienced further manic episodes in 2004/5/6 (during one of these I believed that I would be the next Queen Elizabeth).
In 2010 I experienced another manic negative episode this time I thought aliens were on the planet, I was fighting some invisible beings like Neo out of the Matrix. I had prepared my new boyfriend as to what may happen, so he was all armed and equipped! He took me to hospital and I spent a week recovering.
In May 2010 I started working with young people with learning difficulties and declared my mental health history. They were brilliant and took me for who I was. It was a real eye opener working in a different field ... I take my hat off to carers!
I did this for a year then went back to work in London, I became very excitable again and felt this time a positive energy around me - I wanted to help and change the world again. Not a bad thing I suppose, but given my previous experience, I went to see my doctor straight away and he increased my medication. It took a while to kick in and I ended up spending £4,000 on my partner's credit card - whoops!
Over the years I have gotten used to being Bipolar and I'm aware it will always be a part of my life. I complete daily exercise which helps and have also found group and individual counselling sessions to be very helpful.
I feel that now is the right time to share my story and experiences, to help reduce the stigma attached to mental illness. I want to help other people not to make the mistakes I made and to realise that to manage their condition they need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Liz
You can also follow Liz on Twitter @rotherham71
Read more about Bipolar disorder, what you can do to help yourself, what help you can get and what friends and family can do.
If you are worried about your own mental health and are looking for advice and support, contact your local Mind or call the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393.
8 Comments
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I'm bipolar too..
And I too have had some very "odd" experinces.
I talk about it if someone wants to know and Im not ashamed of being me anymore.
I went from being a Teacher to unemployed, then drink problems and criminality and violence (at age 44 for the first time ever)....all in a very short time frame.
Nobody would honestly choose this, but it is who we are.
Well done for sharing , you're very brave.. keep strong x
Cj
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i am 18 and was diagnosed a month ago
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I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder in 2002.i was working at an accountant in covent garden.When i had problems sleeping I would go into the office at 4am and start work but got very little done as my attention span was very limited and i would easily get excited by new adventures.i lost my job in Feb 2002 and have worked on and off in 2008 for about 6 months but since i am a qualified accountant i keep getting very stressfull jobs which i could not hold down.I take olanzapine and Zoplicone(sleeping medication) when i have a manic phase (the destructive phase...spending money ,drinking ,smoking lots of cigarettes , not slleping properly) and i am thinking on going on a permanent medication to improve the quality of my life.whats important to me now is staying well and healthy.Bi=polar is a funny syndrome...lots of famous and highly innovative and artistic people suffer from it (eg winston churchill)...Steven fry once said he would not get rid of his bi-polar if he can flick a switch...I know I would.
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Hi Ravi,
I think a lot of people feel this way, but it's really positive that staying well and healthy is your priority at the moment. It sounds like you've had a difficult time so deciding what's important to you really matters.
Are you getting support from your local Mind at the moment? Here's where you can find the closest one to you if you feel that would help? http://www.mind.org.uk/help/mind_in_your_area
Best wishes, Becca at Mind.
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i was diagnosed with bipolar last year after i lost my 4th ckild to adoption. it has been a struggle, and my 'hyper' moods, well, with each one i am really talkative, spend money and loads of it, and i think i can do anything and everything and think im invinsible.
at the moment for the past 2 months i have been in depressive mode and yesterday tried to take my own life, which happens everytime im in depressive mode. i also dont like doing anything apart from listen to my ipod and either crochet or cross stitch and i wont talk to anyone other than my dog bailey.
i have tried getting help and have been on various medication but am finding nothing helps. even last night when i was rushed into hospital, i was stuck in a room on my own and no one came to see me until i got up 3 hrs later and tried walking out. i even dressed what i had done to my arm. a nurse looked mt arm, dressed them again and that was it, i went home on the bus. i am still feeling the same now, suicidal, low, depressed so thats why i have come on this site for help -
Dear Tracey
I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling with these feelings, can you reach out to some family or friends to talk about what you are going through right now? If there isn't anyone you feel like you can speak to, the Samaritans are open 24/7 - 08457 90 90 90 / jo@samaritans.org If you feel like you are approaching crisis again, please do seek help http://www.mind.org.uk/help/crisis
Our infoline opens tomorrow at 9am and they can help you find support, please do consider giving them a call 0300 123 3393. Take care, -
Hi - thanks for all your comments - please keep on talking as I know there are more people out there that suffer in silence.... I also know there is a spiritual connection which is very interesting to - if you want to read my full story I have had it published on the nepft site under family and friends then our voices then archive then Liz's story. I am in the process of writing a second part as have been in hospital recently due to a manic phase and will share again with you as I think it helps.
Message to Tracey - babe please don't give up you have your whole life ahead of you - if you want a chat then please email me I am happy to help .... you are not alone babe believe me ..xxx -
I don't know if I am bi polar but a lot of these symptoms seem to have happened to me.
I've had problems with temper always fussing over things not being right mostly over the last few years. I've had days where i've been down but I just bought something or went out and drank with friends to get over it. Get bored easily in relationships after a while and in work.
The reason I think i might have bi polar is well my last relationship which only broke up the other day has put me and my ex through hell and back. I had major out bursts of mood swings, aggression and verbal and emotional abuse towards her and me. First I thought I was drinking to much, then I thought it's our personalities that clashed yet we are/were so much in love we planned to get married.
I took an overdose 5 months ago when we argued and broke up but it wasnt a serious break up. I've had problems in my past about being assaulted and abused with violence when I was in my teenage years. After the overdose my GP referred me to anger management course and offered anti depressants. That was a waste of time i didn't take the med's as was afraid of what might happen in the long run and was sure I could bet this.
So I took private therapy and well it helped and I noticed a big change in feeling positive but after a few months I stopped and I thought all was fine but I was always wanting to argue with my ex and berate her and bring her down about her past or other things then straight after feel so guilty and remorseful. I started to be to demanding sexually as well and I felt like she'd changed or I had and our spark had gone. I feel so guilty and ashamed for all I've put her through and this split personality has destroyed my life.
My therapist said I don't have anger issues it's my past experiences that have led me to this but i know my mum's niece has bi polar and since reading about it on the mind website 85% of the symptoms seem to match up. I need some advice???
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