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Mind the gap - my experience of health anxiety
Posted Thursday 23 August 2012
Hi everyone
I have had health anxiety for years but I’ve only spent the last one trying to overcome it. Largely because I didn't know how to. I knew that reacting as if death was inevitable after having just the slightest pain wasn't a normal thing to do, but despite this I didn't feel the need to rectify the problem.
After I started receiving Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for panic disorder over a year ago, it also materialised that I had 'hypochondriasis,' which made perfect sense; I'd always considered myself a hypochondriac but never really considered it to be a form of anxiety – even though it caused me great anxiety. Everyone knows anxiety isn't rational...
Anyway, following talks with my therapist and reading 'Overcoming Health Anxiety' by Rob Willson and David Veale, I realised that my problem was actually quite common and not just a case of me being an annoying hypochondriac. Therapy and the book have certainly helped ease the condition, and I would definitely recommend both.
But one of the main problems I still have is thinking catastrophically about health. In other words, believing any pain or discomfort will result in something life threatening or, in many cases, life ending. I'm now more equipped to deal with this thought process, but the ultimate aim would be to not have the thought process at all.
Is it possible, having thought in a specific and (because it causes pain) dysfunctional way for basically all of my life, to change the process in a proportionally much shorter amount of time? The idea of experiencing pain and not going into autopilot is almost intangible. Indeed, if one were to not have health anxiety, one may not even notice the pain in the first place.
Let me give an example:
Me of old:
I have a pain in the shoulder. Imminent heart attack. Panic attack because I believe I'm about to have a heart attack. Panic symptoms feel like a heart attack. Heart attack thoughts emphasised...etc.
Me now:
I have a pain in the shoulder. Imminent heart attack. Implement techniques to try and control the feelings, such as breathing, mindfulness, rationalisation, punching myself in the face to distract me from the source of the pain (OK, I made this last one up. Please do not accept this as a reasonable method of overcoming health anxiety).
My aspiration:
The gap represents me not noticing I even have a pain in the shoulder, therefore for no issue to arise in the first place. I appreciate how far I have come to be able to rationalise better, but I also wonder how I would respond if a particularly severe pain came about whilst I was out of my comfort zone... the two scenarios haven't crossed paths for a long time, so it'll be interesting if they do. Well, not particularly interesting for me I would wager, not until I'm able to reflect on it at least.
CBT is all about altering thought processes, and the therapy I had certainly helped do this in a positive way. But it's amazing how difficult it is to change a thought cycle, especially one triggered by a tangible force (i.e. pain) that has been embedded into us for so long. And that's without analysing why we have said thought cycle in the first place...
Health anxiety can be a debilitating, and quite simply a horrible experience; it can dominate your life. CBT was certainly the way to go for me in terms of overcoming it, but if you go down this route be prepared for a lot of hard work.
Best wishes
Al
Al has a blog that he updates regularly.
If you would like more information on anxiety visit our information page or call the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393
8 Comments
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Oh my word that is me !!! I have just started CBT
I know what I have to do but after 61 years of my brain thinking that way it's hard to think any other way ,
But my life is getting shorter and don't want to waste the years I have left on negative thinking
I do a stop now and think of something I enjoy doing that helps good luck and front look back look foreword !!!! -
Here Here!!!
I too suffer from health anxiety and had CBT. This worked initially and felt like i had turned a major corner which influenced me to ween off my anti depressants. Think i was a little to quick to act on the good times though.
At my worst I was reading papers by the hour trying to find out about Swine Flu which I thought was a imediate threat to me. I think I have been ok over Summer because Swine fu hasnt really been in the press but I am now aware that Winter is upon us which means so is the flu season (sounds ridicuolous i know)
I take comfort in our website that we developed called disability sanctuary which is currently off line whilst we develop the site. We developed it because my husband suffers from agoraphobia and realised we was completly alone in the world so developed it in the hope we would connect to other sufferers which has been a huge success.
We were granted funding recently and have been supported by the nhs so your all welcome to join when the site is up again this week.
Good luck to you all with this fight, its a totureous condition.
Love x
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Hi Carol, yeah I can imagine that after a longer period of time it must be hard! I'm glad you've decided to start CBT, I hope it works out for you. Good luck and best wishes.
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This has really helped me because it describe me exactly.
If I get a headache - I am adament I have a brain tumour. Or if my muscles hurt around my shoulders it's definitely a heart attack.
The problem for me is that I've done CBT for 8 weeks and yes it did help, but I'm sick of it happening in the first place. I know how to calm down and think rationally but its exhausting to have the panic attack in the first place.
Does anyone think that anti - depressants may help me?
x
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Its so nice to no im not the only one , its so awful and people don't understand i may get a pain whilst working and it can stop my whole day i just can't function. Ive had cbt but am having a tough time at the moment as i write i have neck pain when i breathe in and im scared to death.
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Hi everyone, I'm glad we can be united with this horrible condition! I think to put things into perspective, I had 39 CBT sessions and, whilst not all of those focused on health anxiety, it goes to prove how stubborn this thought process can be... And despite so many sessions, I still have these catastrophic thoughts which don't seem to want to go away, as the blog shows! I guess my advice is stick at it, whatever 'it' is... Sarah as you say it's the 'first place' that's the problem, getting out of the initial thought is so hard! I must admit I'm not sure about anti-depressants, give the experts at Mind a try with this one I guess? Hope everyone can get through this :) PS- Sounds like great work Disability Sanctuary!
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Finally..someone that feels the same as I do. My anxiety started in my first year of uni and its horrible. Words cant describe how bad it is, Im just about to start my 2nd year of uni and im really hoping I can deal with it better than I did before, I should be starting CBT in the next couple of weeks so hoping that helps. Best of luck to you also.
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Hi Tasmin, I hope the CBT goes well for you so you can enjoy your second year. I remember uni being a difficult time for me too, but it's great that you're taking steps to tackle it whilst you're still there. All the best :)
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