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My letter to depression
Posted Wednesday 22 August 2012
Dear Depression,
I wanted to write a letter to you in the hope we can come to some sort of agreement as to where we both go from here. I have written to you many times before in days of despair and days of hope, today is one of my good days when I can find the strength from within to speak to you forcefully, concisely, from the head and from the heart. If need be, I can also speak to you aggressively, just to enforce my point, but seeing as we are now old friends, I shall try to remain diplomatic at all times.
Let me start by complimenting you on the wonderful public relations team you have working for you. How you manage to cause so much pain and heartache to so many people and not get a negative reaction in the press is a testament to the work they do on your behalf. How you get away with creating a stigma against those of us who suffer is nothing short of remarkable. When we are on better terms, perhaps you can tell me how they do it?
Exactly how is it that you manage to turn the tables on people so that they are seen as weak, hopeless, worthless and even on the verge of taking their lives because you won’t let them breathe? How come you’re still not seen as the major illness you are when so many people suffer because of you?
I saw first hand how you destroyed someone with no regard, no remorse, just a relentless charge through someone’s persona. Watching someone so vibrant, loving, outgoing and confident become a shadow of the person that I loved was horrible. To make someone change in such a way and, worse of all, to do it over a long period of time so that they are not aware of it, how do you do that?
You came to me over a 2 to 3 year time span, I knew you were there but I was not ready to acknowledge your existence. Unaware of the strength I needed to halt you on your path of destruction, I allowed you to control me and my feelings until that day when you almost beat me.
The truth of the matter is that I was a beaten man, but I did not want you to claim me as another victim. From within, I found hidden strength, through the love of my wife and children, I fought back. I am lucky in that sense, but others are not as fortunate as me, it’s so hard with your uncanny knack of pinpointing someone’s weakness and going straight for it.
The good news for me, and the bad for you, is that now I’m on top. Without you I would not be writing, something I had a passion for as a young boy in school, YOU stirred my creative juices and made my mind awash with ways I could defeat you. Now I am ready to help others defeat you and most of all I am ready to show others how the weakness comes from you not themselves.
I am starting a revolution and will unite all “Depressionistas” from all walks of life in my battle. Are you ready for us this time my friend? We may seem weak as single entities but as a force we are strong and we will not be defeated. Your days of chaining us to shackles will soon be over.
Try putting a positive spin on that!
Garry
You can also follow Garry on Twitter @depressedmoose
If you are struggling with feelings of depression, have a look at our information page or call the Infoline team for advice and support: 0300 123 3393.
21 Comments
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Very creative Garry. Reminds me of C.S. Lewis' Screw-tape letters. The other day I received one of those standard, underhanded evil letters from the DWP trying to blame me for something that is obviously their fault. You can imagine the anxiety and distress levels, etc. As I read your letter my mind couldn't help but continually slip in DWP right alongside Dear Depression. Worst of it was, it seemed to fit all the way through. Sorry for being a bit off thread but thats what I'm at presently.
Nice one.
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Great article Garry, well done for speaking out and good luck with the rest of your journey.
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What can I say Garry. You speak from your heart and I hear it in mine and I certainly hope that we can all unite and wipe out this invasion.
Kind regards
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I would like to add to this insigtful letter
Thank you depression in managing to convince the professionals that it is all down to my personality.
Thank you for turning family, friends against me and convincing my husband that my anger means I could turn into a phycho any minute.
Thank you for convincing the world that I am just another scrounger while inducing such anxiety and insomnia that would make me unfit to hold down a job.
Thank you for not giving me a life limiting psyical illness so I can endure another 10 -15 years of this hell.
Thank you for negating all the intelligence that I possess and all the hard work I have done into nothing and still not giving up.
Thank you for passing on my mothers mental illness to me even though I begged for it not to happen.
Thank you for making me guilty while my perpetrators are left to happily get on with their lives
Thanks depression, nice knowing you.
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Yes...... It is mere a bump or a sharp bend but for sure it's not the END ....And the road further is so nice and WONDERFUL......
Just a little (more) wait and there is smooth ride after this bumpy / curvy road.......May be that you need the hope......and moreover you need JESUS.... the hope with REWARD.
.....HIS PRECIOUS BLOOD shall heal you for SURE.....!!!Try to know him and the HANDY tool is your personal BIBLE.... and necessarily the habit of.daily reading....IT...!!
In faith with the LORD,
Walter Tuscano
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Garry, I forgot to say, brilliant post. Knowing that you are determined to fight this wretched illness does give some glimmer of hope to those of us who know what it is like. Thank you for that.
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Its good writing. Depression, -- when someone suppressed, and they accept it, this will lead to depression. (lot of people suppressed by drugs issued by mental health system) if the person fight against the suppression then its called revolution. So how can a person escape from suppression, depression and revolution, (only way out is having a better mental health system) as all these are taking up valuable living life. (the time) for example a long revolution with employers, so called british system (including tribunals and all) i end up in so called mental health system , where i been forced to have drugs. It was a 12yrs revolution. Today i see my self my life has been stolen. Haven’t lived a life, my advice can be how can a person avoid suppression, depression, and revolution??? Because all these are taking up valuable life time. I found one way of doing is educating others around you including doctors and psychiatrist , so revulunists as you are in there don't let new people to come in (don't let others to fall in the hand of depression) .. Depression also related with high level of discrimination. In my early days at sharp team in the front reception i used to see a board saying ''without stress i am empty'' i asked them what kind of people are you, after a while the board has removed.
And also lots of people in so called mental health system are in cryonic state have to come inti active state. Unite more people and fight for it. As i have done enough i am trying a way out from the so called mental health system.
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Thank you all for your kind words! This post was taken from my blog www.thedepressedmoose.com and is one of my favourite pieces I have written, The messages of support today have blown my mind. Keep up the good fight people
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I work delivering sessions to young people about mental health. This is a really interesting, frank and creative way to let the world know what it's like. Those who've never encountered it truly do not know what it is like, hence the ongoing stigma. Keep informing!
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Garry,
What a creative and powerful way to get in touch with depression. Somehow it brings alive that battle of the sufferer. I found my self almost cheering when you had 'got on top of it' turning it round to reconnect with a positive outlet for you and your creative writing.I am sure that many depressionistas will be grateful and strengthened by your talent for words. Good luck with the rest of the journey
Graeme
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It can be embarassing talking about taboo grey areas, i agree the mental act system needs updating.To many things go unnoticed with conditions of depression we need to pay attention to this!we need to be positive with this condition and not look at the weakness of it.Gary you are a star keep the great writing skills up.
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Just as the other guy said- very screw tape letters. Thanks for the memories
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Garry,
What a wonderful piece of work. Expresses all I cannot seem to say. Thank you so much. -
Dear Garry:
Your post was great on depression and it had touched deeply in my heart making me aware of the battles we face in depression. It is people like you that will help people like me to become a great battling victorious Soldier on the fight against depression.
Thank you for sharing your post and may God continued to bless you and your family.
Sincerely yours,
Darlena Pagan
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Great writing, Garry. You certainly gave that Depression what's for! And I, for one, was right behind you, cheering and waving flags of support!
All the best with the writing...let those juices flow freely...
Be you, be proud and channel all those wonderful gifts and talents...
With love,
Jackie xx
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thank you again everyone who has replied to this. I hope it has inspired some of you, it certainly has helped me with my current funk reading the positive comments from people. To think that people have actually made the effort to comment on something I have written is mind blowing.
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Oh I so needed to read this today, I wish I was on top but depression seems to have taken up permanent residence in my brain and the pair have became very close. I hope I too can write a letter like this some day. x
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I was reminded as were others of the similarity to The ScrewTape Letters. Perhaps the ancient people were not so far off in their thinking. I commend you for your courage and pray that God continues to direct your path and understanding. May the demons which plague us, recognize the strength of the Presence of God within us and flee.
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This was really powerful!
Thanks for sharing :) -
I too have the same problem i have my family who stop me from dying but some days i feel that this is
not enough and that scares me. I read your letter it
has given me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel on matter how far down you are -
My friend, my hero,
Inspiration from so many people that go through the same thing, but we all deal with it differently.
You rendered me to tears, understanding every point you were making to this illness!
I do not follow no one, apart from myself. But you have made me realise even more.
Thank you.
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