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The depression files - unmasking the myths
Posted Friday 22 June 2012
Depression can strike anybody, and if your first thought was "not me" then you're wrong. No matter how smart or strong willed you may think you are, depression can still get you! I'm not saying it will, but despite popular opinion, depression is not just for those who are "weak minded and easily influenced".
You can suffer with depression whether you are single or married with kids, a high powered exec or unemployed. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do or how old you are, depression just doesn't care.
But I care. I care that people don't seek help when they need to because they are afraid other people will judge them. I care that people think that having depression means you are weak I care that innocent people take their own lives because the feel so alone.
Living with depression has made me stronger than ever.
The truth is, unless you actually have depression, you have no idea what it can do to you and how badly it can affect every aspect of your entire life.
In these series of blogs I want to dispel every myth that is circulating about depression, so more people can understand that it doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means you're depressed.
Can you tell me what depression is? Google it and you will find two very different definitions:
- severe despondency and dejection
- a condition of mental disturbance.
Clear as mud.
And the reason there is no clear definition is that depression is not a clear illness. Being depressed means different things to different people so it can be hard to put that into words.
But depression is NOT:
- something people choose.
- something that people can just "get over" by being positive
- a weakness or weak mindedness
- selfishness or self pity
- insanity or craziness
- something to be ashamed of
These are the kinds of myths and narrow minded prejudices that cause people to feel ashamed of their situation, not seeking help when they so desperately need it.
Just because a person is depressed doesn't mean that they are any less of a person. It does not mean that you are stronger or smarter than them. Only an idiot would believe that someone could live their life with depression and still be weak. It has made me a stronger person than I have ever been in my entire life.
The "snap out of it" mentality seems to be shared by a great many people and with the greatest of respect is possibly one of the most stupid things to say to a person suffering with depression. If we could snap out of it we damn well would! I don't care what anybody says: nobody chooses to be depressed. It can not be snapped out of; it is something that takes time to deal with.
People are made to feel ashamed of their depression, they are made to feel weak, stupid and crazy for not being able to "choose life" and "snap out of it" But depression is NOTHING to be ashamed of.
Claire Coshan
7 Comments
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Well stated Claire... I too try to dispel some of the crazy myths which still prevail depsite this being the age of mass communication it is sometimes of misinformation unfortunately and entrenched attitudes take a huge time to shift and fear of it happening to others makes them not want to listen. But the truth needs to be known....
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Agree 100% with everything said here, every small goal I achieve like taking a shower or texting a friend makes me feel that much stronger.
In some way even though i'm still very much fighting this I feel stronger now than I have ever done in the years I spent suffering in silence. After suffering from my early teens to now being in my mid twenties, an article in Glamour magazine gave me the courage I needed to speak to my Gp.
I was ashamed and afraid of being judged as a failure and unfit to work, so I kept quiet and suffered and slowly got worse and worse. Speaking about it has been the best decision I have ever made, I left my doctors surgery with a prescription for meds and a referral to health and social care and I felt like a weight had been lifted and have made progress ever since. Yes some days are bad but for the first time in a long time I can say to myself "you know what it'll be ok" -
Yes. What people don't quite get is the utter shift in reality that happens. My depression is recurrent and during an episode my mind is a very different mind to the one that has me when I'm well. Indeed when I'm totally out of an episode it seems that depressed person was someone else entirely. I even sometimes repeat exactly the same awful myths you detailed above... which of course is very dangerous thinking and has landed me back in a depressive state pretty quickly!
Thanks for blogging Claire.
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This is a great thing you're doing and it's so important. I've heard people say such awful things about depression, that it means the persons weird or weak or crazy and it makes me afraid to tell them I've had it too.
I would have loved the support and understanding of my work collegues & family when I was struggling with it, it's real lonely when their prejudice gets in the way.
I'll do anything I can to help you achieve better education for people on this devastating disease. As far as I'm concerned people who battle through it and survive are the strongest people in the world! -
Very good blog - thank you.
I used to be one of those people who thought depression was for 'mad people'.
Now I have been diagnosed (anxiety as well) it seems a relief and makes sense of things: my actions and views on life.
One area the mental health people get wrong is that your depression is a temporary thing, and you will come off meds. Well that may be true for some people but not me, and many others. The meds. have been a God's send so why would I want to come off them - I would be 'mad'!
I just wish the authorities would re-define their thinking and accept what the patient says. -
Claire,
Great Blog, sentement and passion.So often when depression hits, there is an unspoken judgement that follows, even from those closest to us.
I love the way you state that no-one wants this and the myth that people can 'pull themselves together' simply shows a lack of empathy and understanding of depression.
Often with depression people feel very anxious. Having others with such a judgemental stance only serves to feed that anxiety.
Well done for standing up and saying loudly and clearly that it can happen to anyone, no one chooses to be depressed and that they are no less of a person for suffering from this illness.
Keep up the good work
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Hiya, Thank you so much for all the fantastic comments! they are very much appreciated. And i apologise for the delay in reply, my computer is being tempremental.
MissSpanadora, I totally know the feeling. You feel as though the weight of the entire world has been lifted from your shoulders don't you?Anna, I am glad I am not the only one that feels as though they are a different person after a "spell".
Sarah, it is very lonely, heartbreakingly so at times. But there are always people to listen.
James, Meds can be such a boon, and you're right in some cases it Would be "mad to come off them" If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
Graeme, thank you, it is something I feel incredibly passionate about after having been judged by those I thought would understand.
Thanks again for the brilliant comments!
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