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The silence of dogs in cars - reflecting depression
Posted Friday 18 May 2012
These images are about more than dogs. They draw upon my experiences of depression and are an attempt to capture that feeling of isolation and anxiety.
There is something raw and unspoken in the darker feelings inside us: they reside within us like an animal locked away.
I was once left in a car at a young age. I don't know when or where or for how long, possibly at the age of four, perhaps outside a supermarket, probably for fifteen minutes only. The details don't matter. The point is that I wondered if anyone would come back: in a child's mind it is possible to be alone forever.
Around the same age I developed a deep affinity with animals - in particular their plight at the hands of humans. Many animals, and some pets, seemed helpless and the fact that they could not speak made it worse.
It is clear that both these experiences arose from the same place deep inside me: a fear of being alone and unheard. These feelings have stayed with me and when I suffer from depression they haunt me – or maybe the depression is a result of trying to avoid those feelings.
I started this project as a way to explore those dark wild feelings, but in a safe way, to see if I could find the animal in the darkness that I might love and know.
When I started this project I knew the photos would be dark. What I didn't expect was to see so many subtle reactions by the dogs: some sad, some expectant, some angry, some dejected. It was as if upon opening up a box of grey-coloured pencils I was surprised to see so many shades inside.
Perhaps there is life in the dark places within us.
I will stop writing now and you can stop reading. Words can only get us so far. After all, we are all animals.
PS. In case you were worried about the dogs, please don't be. I love dogs dearly (I have two of my own) and the dogs really didn’t have to spend much time in the cars. Their owners were there, and regular treats and water was given out.
Martin Usborne
Martin Usborne has a photographic studio in London. He's a long-time supporter of Mind and over the years has photographed many people and events for us. He thinks there is something magical about looking through the lens and capturing a bit of the world.
If you liked the pictures in this blog: see more and watch a video about the project. You can also help Martin get the book published.
Or read another blog he wrote for us called My experience with the black dog.
17 Comments
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Love this Martin
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thanks for the support!
All the best
Martin -
Martin I found these pictures with the imagery in your writing very moving, thank you, and all the best with your project
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I loved this. It's very well crafted and like the poster above said very touching too.
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I love this as a metaphor. I try to capture this sort of stuff in my writing as well. Inspiring.
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Martin, beautiful pictures. Depression can be a very dark and lonely place.
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These are really very good - captures depression perfectly, very beautiful and poignant.
I really hope your book gets published - I will definitely buy it if it does!
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" It was as if upon opening up a box of grey-coloured pencils I was surprised to see so many shades inside."
Loving your use of those greys, Martin.
Top dog job :) -
What a beautiful project! Absolutely love it. Great work!
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The part that I find the most interesting "inside a child's mind" is it possible to be alone forever.
My answer is, I think that it is, from a very early age I didn't bond with my parents or siblings, I was very alone, then has an adult I was strangled by relationships that I should of never of been in, luckily for me I did find my soulmate 20 years ago (though I was a very damaged person by then) I thought I could never love or be loved. However I have never been able to find my way out of the fear, the isolation and low mood, I don't think that I have ever experienced natural elation.
Great work Martin, regards frankie
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hi all, so touching to hear your responses to all this. It means a lot more that it touches people with similar feelings and experiences than it does it affects people in a gallery. I think it's also so important that we all share these things - the overriding experience with depression, as I tried to show in the pictures - is the sense of isolation. And yet all around the world, right now, many of us are experiencing the same feelings. Ironic in some ways. That's why we owe it to ourselves and others with depression to openly talk about the experience when we are feeling strong enough to do so. I wish all the love and support in the world to those that are troubled by these things. It IS possible to get better, you CAN get over it and people ARE there to help. especially MIND. If you want to see more about this project please click on the link in teh article to watch the video and order a book if you like or go here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1293604819/dogs-in-cars-a-photography-book
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Is anyone else haunted by feelings of being an un-willing player in the game of life. And therefore you disengage,not least because to engage in the game of life causes anxiety and will lead you to be hurt?
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hi martin I love your work you are very talent in the field of arts.
" It was as if upon opening up a box of grey-coloured pencils I was surprised to see so many shades inside."
Loving your use of those greys,I am currently writing an essay on the benifits of using alternative methods for expression in mental illness especially in the arts and was wondering if I could feature you in my essay. It will not be seen by anyone else other than the university and will of course respect confidentuality.
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I have dogs myself and I could appreciate the look on the dogs face as you leave them. The disappointment that they are not coming too. As a sufferer of agoraphobia this was especially poignant and relevant to my own personal feelings. I am the dog imprisoned in the car which represents my anxiety trapping me, facing the disappointment of being left while others enjoy life outside. The isolation and loneliness welling up inside me.
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Beautiful pictures....Beautiful sentiments....
I myself have suffered depression for the last 14years....My latest starting six months ago.....My solution was to purchase 2 dogs would you believe.....Completely relate to the lovely pictures...fear of loneliness,being trapped,no-one seeming to care.....Martin you have captured the" essence of a mental state"....
Ironically "my dogs" have got me out of the car....Best thing I ever did...
Beautiful work...truely beautiful... -
Hi, yes, that's the irony. My dogs have also helped me so much with my depression, they are a great antidote, so free living and positive ( I wrote another book with photos about my dog and my depression, see My Name is Moose , on amazon.co.uk). I love dogs more than I can say.
The dog in the car is of course meant to be a positive symbol: the life and love that resides as the centre of us. Even when we feel most depressed there is a beautiful creature at the heart of things, with a voice and emotion. We just often don't let it out, but its there....
Thank you for all your continuing messages and support, it's wonderful to hear from you, even if some of your stories are difficult. We are all here together and I wish you all support and love
Martin
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And yes, Leah, of course you can write about the images, delighted...
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