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The week I let ITV film my depression
Posted Thursday 3 May 2012
Steve is not my real name – I was given it by the production team filming me anonymously for a new mental health documentary – but I like to think of it as my ‘stage name’. Sounds a bit more glamorous than pseudonym.
I was speaking, emailing and even texting (as Steve) about my experiences of depression over a week in April, as part of a documentary called The trouble with men. Despite sounding like a spin-off section of Loose Women, the programme is actually about the difficulty that society has in dealing with men’s mental health. It’s being broadcast on ITV1 tonight at 7.30pm and I’d strongly recommend tuning in if you can. Perhaps in spite of my involvement in it rather than because of it!
I’ve always admired anyone who speaks out about their experiences of mental health problems. It strikes me as being an act of defiance: flying in the face of taboo and standing up to stigma. It’s very personal, quite political and most of all it’s very, very brave.
I signed up to being involved in The trouble with men largely because I’m none of the above. I’m a bit spineless, totally non-partisan, and shy away from the lime light like a self-conscious mole. But somehow I persuaded myself to take the leap of faith and stand up and speak out.
I’m so glad I did! Despite my initial apprehension, the support I received from both Mind and ITV meant that I came away feeling not only a bit proud of myself but also genuinely empowered for having risen to the challenge of speaking publicly about depression. I even felt I’d earned some of that bravery I could’ve done with before I signed up!
But there was a final twist in the tale when I got an update from ITV a couple of days ago. They’d had to cut me from the show. Outrageous! I was a bit disappointed, understandably, but quickly became intrigued when they told me why.
I’d done the interviews under my stage name ‘Steve’ because the production team was so pessimistic of getting any men to open up about mental health that they’d initially settled for talking to them anonymously. But since interviewing me, they’d travelled many miles throughout the country doing many hours of filming with men from different backgrounds. And you know what? To a man, every single one of the people they spoke to said ‘yes, this is me. I’m a man, I have a mental health problem and I’m happy to look straight into the camera and say it.’
So Steve didn’t get his 15 minutes of fame. Bad luck Steve. But something much more important happened. Men showed that they can defy the stereotypes and stand up and speak out about mental health. And in doing so urge others to be more aware of theirs, and reach out for support. I learned that the power of sharing your story is in its ability to touch the lives of others. Maybe to even save the lives of others. And to be a tiny part of that process has been amazing and something I’ll never forget.
Steve
If, like ‘Steve’, you want to stand up and speak out to raise awareness about mental health find out how to be a media volunteer for Mind.
Or you could nominate the documentary for our media awards.
14 Comments
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I only wish my husband could have seen this documentary, he suffered with depression for years which was exacerbated when he lost his job last October. He like most men was too ashamed to visit his GP or speak to friends and self medicated with alcohol that was until he took his own life four weeks ago. He never discussed any suicidal thoughts. We as a family are still numb to this senseless tragedy and urge anyone with depression to seek help urgently. The devastation this condition creates/leaves is understated, more people need to be aware of the seriousness of depression. We need more documentaries tackling this issue however I'm sure some lives will be saved as a result of tonight's programme.
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I too wish my son could have seen this documentary. He suffered with depression for 10 years and also lost his job in October last year. He was under a psychiatric doctor and did inform him of his increased suicidal thoughts over the last 5 months. This was never taken seriously enough and he was expecting a call to admit him to hospital for the last 4 days of his life, before he took his own life 9 weeks ago. Our family are still trying to comes to terms with the lack of support from so-called professionals. This is something we will never get over and feel he was so let down by the system. Documentaries like this highlight such an important issue that is a very grey area and needs to be addressed. I just hope professionals take note of these serious incidents we have had to experience as a family and do more to prevent it in the future.
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I thought your programme this evening was brilliant.Sadly over many years I have suffered with endogenous depression all my life but at the moment I am well but I know that stastistically that at some time in the future I will be unwell and have to resort to anti depressants.Personal situations such as divorce has had no influence on my mental state I think its important that those who are aware of such an inflicting illness to be aware on the onset of the problem and take medical advice .I found councelling very helpful.
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I thought last nights documentary on men suffering from depression was outstandingly good .It dealt with the illness in a very sensitive way exploding some of the myths and explaining to the viewers all the aspectsof this insidious disease.I have suffered wit depression for most of my life but generally speaking now its under control and although its difficult for me to accept I am aware that it could return in the future. I know now when I am on the slippery slope of a downward spiral and can do something about it. I am not on medication at present.The key issue is recognising you have a problem.Incidentally traumatic events have little influence for me in bringing on a period of depression. I have been told I suffer from endogenous depression caused when a certain chemical in the brain becomes depleted
For those out there who are reading my comments to them I emphasise there is a lot of help out there and believe me life does get much much better -
Never saw the documentary as I live in holland and we do not get ITV. The great thing is that men are speaking up, I have done a number of talks about my own experiance with depression and the best bit about it, is that it allows others to speak up. Well done 'Steve' and well done 'men' keep it up !
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A very interesting look at men and depression and the difficulty men sometimes have with admitting to being a sufferer. I thought it was very telling that 75% of suicides are carried out by men. As a woman who suffers with clinical depression, it made me realise how men have the extra hurdle of fearing being seen somehow 'unmanly'.
The suicide figures prove how vitally important it is that we create an environment where men can be open about their feelings to literally allow us to save lives. -
Hi all, the programme is now available on iplayer: http://www.itv.com/itvplayer/video/?Filter=316284 if you missed it. Take care
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I have just watched this on I-Player as my partner would not let me watch it last night.What a powerful story. I feel no shame in admitting, as a 66 year old male I was crying.
So true. I am an alcoholic/depressive (which came first - no one knows).
My Partner is a trained Diploma level Counsellor but she cannot cope with me. She gets aggressive and says those dreaded words "Pull your self together and be a 'NORMAL' person. I don't know what that means.
I survive, I cook for both of us, I work very successfully
in a voluntary role at National level on various senior committees. No one knows the distress in my head - WAS I USEFUL TO SOCIETY TODAY.
I urge anyone who reads this to tell their story.
I will soon undergo training with Time to Change (Wales) to tell my story as part of the anti-discrimination campaign.
I have already told part of my story through the care in Crisis campaign with Mind - and went to the House of Commons.
Best wishes to everyone - many of you will recognise me.
I am not ashamed to 'stand up and be counted' as one of the many with a mental health problem in the UK. -
I was diagnosed with parkinsons when i was 30 yrs old, 28 yrs ago, i had
my hgv class 1 taken off of me because of medication 18 yrs ago so i
carried on driving pick up trucks till i was barred access to the factory on h&s reasons (i fell over a couple of times).I haven't worked for ten yrs, i haven't had or felt like a holiday in this time i can't write, can hardly
walk have often thought of ending it all and worst of all i cry during Britains Got Talent, do you think i'm depressed. -
I just wanted to say a very big thank you to you all for taking the time to write your comments. I've found reading them very moving and appreciate your openness hugely.
In particular I wanted to thank 'lynn' and 'anon' for their openness at what must be an intensely difficult time. I'm so sorry to hear of your losses and I really hope that you are getting the support you need to get through this.
I also wanted to reiterate that Mind has been amazing through this process and reading about depression online was one of the main reasons I went to see my GP in the first place. Stuart, I'd definitely recommend you checking out their website and think about having a chat with your GP or Mind's infoline. The support is available, and in my experience things can get so much better for you if you take it.
Wishing all of you best wishes,
Steve -
Hi Stuart – I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling for so long, it sounds like you’ve had a lot to cope with in the last ten years. I’m glad you’ve spoken out about how you’re feeling though. You’re not alone and, as Steve says, support is out there. Please do take a look at our information about depression - http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/depression.
Also have a chat with our infoline team about how you’re feeling. They can suggest some options and put you in touch with support in your area. You can reach them by phone 0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk.
If you are having thoughts of suicide then it’s really important to keep talking about what’s on your mind. The Samaritans are excellent listeners and they won’t judge or tell you what to do – 08457 90 90 90 / jo@samaritans.org.
Take care
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For me, the most important message in this film was that it is more 'manly' to admit that you have a problem rather than trying to hide it. Depression is extremely common and there is help out there.
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If you could change society over night? What would you change and Would this make you feel any better?
Are we the ones who have the problem, or are we helplessly stuck in a situation where which perpetuates our negativity and gives us no way to release us from the situation.
Helplessness, Isolation, Fatigue, Apathy and Disappointment are you a Depressed or are you just another member of the tired member of societies tired capitalist system #BeTheChange
Fluid
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One of the biggest problems is getting access to counselling. For what is a life threatening illness there is a distinct lack of support and huge waiting lists. With other illnesses were under the threat of death would there be 6-18 month waiting lists? It is a national scandal.
GP will put you on medication and then leave you, only if you have plans to kill yourself will services kick in and then you can be hospitalised which is very scary.
At a time when you cant do anything for yourself you have to try and sort out treatment and support.
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