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Crisis care too late?
Posted Friday 2 December 2011
Last week saw the launch of our report on acute and crisis care. Here, Catherine describes the delays that stopped her from getting help when she needed it most.
Trigger warning - this post discusses suicide and readers may find some sections distressing.
My first impression of UK crisis care was the crescendo in mental distress that I had to suffer before I could access it.
I showed my first symptoms of hypomania just days after starting on a combination of antidepressants that had been prescribed by a locum GP.
I returned to my GP and must have had good insight because I actually described what I was experiencing as a bipolar high.
An urgent referral was made for me to see a psychiatrist but unfortunately this referral was never processed as it was deleted at the surgery in error.
A few months later, when I had reached the early stages of manic psychosis, a worried friend took me to the GP surgery.
I could not see my usual GP, who knew me well, so I had an appointment with another GP from the group practice and was sent away with sleeping pills.
My husband took me back the next week. By this time I was delusional and convinced I was a secret genius.
My GP recognised the signs of psychosis and prescribed me an antipsychotic and sedative, and promised that she would help get me some urgent psychiatric attention.
That evening, the psychosis finally overwhelmed me. I spent the night awake with the most heartbreaking hallucinations.
At one stage, while in bed having taken my doctor’s prescription, I hallucinated that my husband was beating my son to death and I could only lie there listening to the screams and blows.
In my floridly psychotic state, I thought that my doctor had told my husband that to save me he must re-enact with my son what my father had done to me.
That experience of listening to my son die was utterly real to me at the time.
The next morning, I was taken to the GP surgery for the fourth time since the ordeal began.
By this point, I was hallucinating and raving incoherently, unable to communicate or understand speech.
My GP recommended that I be sectioned for my own safety as I had been making some bungled attempts at suicide.
My husband took me to the local community mental health team where I was assessed.
In a parallel reality, I believed that I was dead and the healthcare professionals were trying to bring me back to life. Still help was not immediate.
The staff struggled for hours to find me a hospital bed because there were none available locally and I got increasingly agitated as the wait continued.
Eventually, I had to be heavily tranquilized before being taken, semi-conscious and strapped to a stretcher, to a psychiatric hospital in a neighbouring town.
Once I was finally able to access crisis care, the treatment I received was generally good and I eventually made a full recovery.
However, I don't think it was necessary for me to suffer so much before I got the help I needed and I'd like to see immediate access to crisis care become standard in the future.
Catherine
Catherine has written a book called Psychosis through my eyes, visit YouTube to hear an extract.
Excellent crisis care exists, but we need it everywhere, for everyone. Support our campaign, take action now.
7 Comments
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Like you have said the care always comes to late, i tried to kill myself by the time i got into a mental hospital i had suffered a manic episode and then a mixed mood state desbite the fact i had been to my gp twice spike on the phone to mental health nurses and social workers quite afew times, i told my support worker that i couldnt cope anymore and wanted to die, i also told my phychatrist the same on numerous occastions they all told me to ring them if i couldnt cope anymore in the end it was to much and i tried to end my life, i spent only a few days in hospital then was discharged to the crises team who only a week after trying to kill myself discharged me again desbite the fact that i told them i still wanted tp die a massive fail throughout the whole process sadly this happens all the time and i shouldnt, i have not had the help i have needed and we are just all left to suffer its not fair to leave someone when there in such pain in my view it boards on neglet, you wouldnt leave someone alone in physical pain with out medication and support in a hospital, so why do we deserve to be left. Alot of work and campaining needs to be done to change this its discusting.
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Mental health care really is in crisis now. If you have to be that bad before action is taken then what hope is there for the rest of us. I don't doubt staff are just as frustrated but only they can change things by speaking out and taking action themselves, if they do that they will get my full support. Service users are in no position to change things we just don't have the power and our voices rarely get listened to. My nearest pyshiartric hospital closed a ward to house elderly people from the local hospital who were 'bedblocking' would they have closed a cancer ward for the same reason? I know physical care has room for improvement but imagine if someone presents with signs of haemorrage and no one did anything until the patient nearly bled to death? It seems to be the principle now that do nothing until the situation cannot be ignored any longer, sadly more people are going to die because of this.
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A common symptom of mental illness is the inability to sleep. Knowing I had a mental illness my GP would not prescribe sleeping pills. Having then explained the situation to my psychiatrist, he too was reluctant to prescribe them.Only when I explained (truthfully) that none of the 'natural methods' would work for me because I had constant flashing and changing images - some of which spooked me - going through my mind when trying to sleep, did he prescribe them. The sleeping pills have been a great benefit, It seems to me it is the lesser of 2 evils: don't take a pill and don't sleep, or take a pill and sleep. Would you deny someone in physical pain a pain killer? - No of course not; then why deny someone, who is in mental pain, proper medication.
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This is all of no surprise to me as I am currently experiencing suicidal thoughts & plans which I think the people who should care want me to carry out. So my grown up daughters are not responding to my pleas for help, I am hearing them egging me on to "do it, do it, do it" and they hate me for surviving when I "did it" 3 years ago but survived wasting NHS resources on life support at my failure. My hypomania/mixed mood state and now severe depression has led me in past two weeks to make numerous calls, emails etc. to my daughters, CMHT, crisis line, GP's and my medication for psychosis has caused me terrible side effects so had to stop them. Last night I went to A&E and agitated and distressed with horrific images, detached planning and panic because I have told and intend my plans. Had long talk with lovely psychiatrist after which I was calm & sent home. Feel I have told my life story to her, and she was kind and listened patiently. But I have no future. I am in crisis now and tomorrow will see my CMHT but have no idea what will happen. My medication is not helping and needs reviewing but like every one else says, if you were screaming in physical agony you would be heard and treated. But if you are silently screaming and describing your anguish, the pain goes untreated.
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Dear Bev, I'm really sorry to read you are struggling with these thoughts of suicide, hypomania and depression. It sounds like you are experiencing an incredibly tough time, sadly without the support of your daughters. I'm glad to read that you had a good experience at A&E and that you managed to speak with a supportive psychiatrist. I do hope your experience with your CMHT goes well today. Please also do consider contacting the Samaritans - they are there 24/7 and can provide emotional support and will listen non-judgementally if you can't reach out to friends. You can contact them on 08457 90 90 90, jo@samaritans.org Take care, Taryn from Mind
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In response to Bev, quite often when I recieve my out-patient appointment there is a free phone number to PALS who are available from 8am to 8pm.
I have never phoned them but they do sound like they are there to help.
I believe if you find a medication that suits you then the medical team should listen and if possible prescribe it. -
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