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What happened to my crisis care?
Posted Wednesday 23 November 2011
In the latest in our series on crisis care, Sharon Howard writes about how she had to find her own support after being let down by local services.
Based on my experience you would think there really is no support for mental health on the NHS...
After my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, progress towards support actually appeared to be a wheel in motion - slow but at least things were happening.
The diagnosis came in September 2010 and in December 2010 I received a letter asking me to book an assessment for psychology therapy services with my local NHS trust. I dutifully called and was given an appointment for February 2011.
Despite being disappointed that I would have to undergo yet another assessment (having had three months of assessment to reach the diagnosis!) I was just glad that I would finally get some help.
In the meantime I had moved house...
I went along to my appointment in February and informed the Community Psychiatric Nurse who was carrying out the assessment of my move.
She completed the assessment, but informed me that I would not be able to go on the waiting list for treatment with their services as I was now under a different NHS trust in a different county.
She wrote to my new GP to say that she hoped that "her [my] care could now be expedited from the local CMHT without any further unnecessary assessments as she has already had a number of assessments with a variety of mental health professionals".
It was April 2011 before I received a response from my local Community Mental Health Trust. Unfortunately by this time I was already approaching/in crisis.
I just about managed to complete the questionnaire they had enclosed with the letter and send it back. It was a struggle to do this as I was at a point where I was barely doing anything at all.
The letter also stated that I had been placed "directly on our [their] therapy waiting list as of February this year".
Just a week later I hit rock bottom and attempted suicide...
The suicide attempt took place on Wednesday evening and on Friday morning I was taken to A&E.
I was put on a drip and the mental health liaison (MHL) team were called to come and assess me. The woman that came listened as I explained I was now homeless and had nowhere to go upon leaving A&E.
I told her I didn’t care as I just wanted to die, but I didn’t feel she was really listening.
She just kept talking about going to stay with a friend and gave me a leaflet with some phone numbers on it that constituted my care plan. It contained the following:
- Crisis team 24 hour phone number
- MHL will chase up referral to psychiatric services
- Council telephone number - ask for homeless help desk
- MHL will refer to hospital homeless service
She asked if I still felt suicidal. I was sat there, in a flimsy babydoll nightdress, trying to remove the drip from my own arm whilst she was talking and saying I was just going to walk out of A&E as I was.
I said 'NO' but I didn’t mean it. I had already been telling her I wanted to die. "If that’s not suicidal what is you stupid woman?" was all I could think!
So I told her ‘no’ as I knew it made no difference what I said, she wasn’t listening!
I spent the next month in a hotel that I paid for myself as the council would do nothing to help me.
They wanted me to go back to my previous county for help, but my job and children (also homeless) were here in this county. What use would going back to where I used to live be to us!?
During the time I was in the hotel I went to my GP several times. At one time the GP called the crisis team while I was in the office.
I had been unable and unwilling to call them myself as I was not in a good state of mind. I still wanted to kill myself and told the GP as much, hence his call to the team.
All they did was call the council housing team and tell the GP to call again if further help was required. I just walked out of the GP’s office, disgusted.
Since then, I asked my GP several times to chase up my referral to the CMHT as I have still not heard anything from them at all.
I resolved my homelessness issue, but as there was still no sign of any help from the NHS mental health services I asked for a referral to private care in May 2011.
In June 2011 I had an assessment with a private consultant psychiatrist and was referred for private psychotherapy treatment. I have been attending my private sessions weekly since July 2011.
I have still not heard anything from the CMHT and now I am feeling angry, let down and distressed that I have to pay for private treatment when I am out of work.
I think it may be time to start the formal complaints process over this matter, what do you think?
Sharon Howard
Sharon was diagnosed with BPD last year and blogs about her experiences. You can follow her on Twitter @SharonHoward09.
Excellent crisis care exists, but we need it everywhere, for everyone. Support our campaign, take action now.
13 Comments
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Sadly this story is all to familiar as I have struggled to get the right support for my husband.
I think it is time for a complaint, I did one last week and it is being acted upon. If you haven't got the energy to do it yourself, try and get someone to help you.
I get continually disgusted with the level of care Mental Health team give -
Makes you wonder why these people work in mental health if they don't want to help people. Imagine someone turning away someone with a serious physical condition because they couldn't be bothered?
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Hi Linda,
Indeed, the whole system is a mess and a lot of the employees really don't seem to care at all. We need people who are willing to fight with us for the care we need! -
Hi Joy,
I am starting the complaints process and getting an advocacy service to help me. I had another crisis just a week ago and discovered that the 'crisis' team number I had been given when in A&E before was not even the right number! When I finally got through to the crisis team I was told that as I am not currently receiving services they couldn't help me!? I have had a bit of luck with a different GP who is trying to push things forward (at least he listened and is trying to help!) but it will still be a long wait and no guarantees even with the GP's support :( -
Your story is very familiar to me - my relative gave up trying to tell mental health practitioners about his suicidal feelings - because no one seemed to listen. I am mystified as to why some people working within MH services don't seem to realise that when people say they feel suicidal they are speaking truthfully. I think there is a need for people working in this speciality to be properly trained to understand the despair that people like you - and my relative - and so many others - experience. We need people like you to try to convey what it feels like to be so low, so please try to harness whatever energy you have - to keep speaking out to get recognition for what has to happen. Thank you for having the courage to speak about your experience and it is only when more people like you tell society what is happening in some parts of MH services that anything will begin to change.
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Hi Penny,
Yes, I get the impression that a lot of people have similarly bed experiences. It's not right at all. Myself and others write blogs about our experiences and feelings in the hope that some people who need to understand may read them and find out what it is really like for us. :) -
Just wanted to say, never give up hope Sharon. Your writing this shows the brick walls that can be in place. I have climbed over very large obstacles in my mental health journey and still have them every so often. I am really lucky as my GP has been so supportive over the years and I now manage well.
Remember the Berlin Wall was broken down so be strong. I came out as a stronger person and many people out there really are now fighting for change. -
Unfortunately Excellent Crisis Care Does NOT Exist,If It Does Then I Myself,And Many Friends Over The Years Certainly Have Not Received It.I'm A Patient With Chronic Recurrent Depression,I Have Virtually Had An Admission Almost Every Year In The Last Eight/Nine Years-With Five Serious Suicide Attempts.I At This Point In Time Will Not See The "Consultant" Who Is A Locum Again,Because I Simply Don't Trust Them,Or ANY Other Mental Health Staff Down Here In Colchester.90% Of Them Could Not Simply Give A Damn,And Thats Just My Opinion,And I Know Of Dozens More Who I've Spoken To,Who Feel The Same Way.
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Thanks Phil, I hope that I can keep on fighting for myself and others! Things need to change and it looks like it's down to 'us' to make that happen! :)
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I have to agree with you Simon, myself and many others across the UK who I am in contact with all have the same experiences of NOT getting any excellent crisis care - if it does exist where are the people who can share their experiences. If there are such people we need them to stand up and tell us 'where' this excellent care is available so it can be used as a model to improve services elsewhere! And not just crisis care but excellent mental health care in general - to me it seems to be a myth!? I would love someone to prove that 'excellent' care exists!!
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We're talking to a few people who might be able to share their stories of good care on here and hope to have them up soon. If you have experienced excellent crisis care and want to blog, please email digital@mind.org.uk Thanks, Taryn
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Penny, that old adage still exists within services - that if people are "really" suicidal they don't speak of it - this is despite well known evidence to the contrary that many many people who have gone onto taking their own lives have expressed this to someone and often a health professional such as a GP.
So this flies in the face of evidence and Suicide Prevention Strategy needs to learn this.
The Samaritans most certainly grasp that people speak of wanting to die before they do.
Being taken seriously means - this is so ironic - you have to say the opposite of what you feel and want! You have to say you don't want a service - then you will get it! You have to rigorously deny feeling suicidal - then they will assume you are!
The other problem Sharon is diagnosis - I've heard of psychiatrists and nurses openly stating to people that they don't take suicide seriously in anyone with a BPD diagnosis, they claim their reason for not doing so is because 'this is how the person feels all the time', it's just a 'part of their way of living'. This is an appalling judgement, but it's part of their whole damning outlook on PD.
There seems to be greater push now for everyone to be funding their own support, sorting their own housing and mental health professionals somehow divorcing all things social/environmental from their job description. So some will only sort medication/CBT and ignore the fact that you're homeless or need help with welfare because that's no longer something they assist with, you're expected to go 5 different depts for different things, there's no joined up thinking -
Mindreader - I am in complete agreement with you that people who express their suicidal feelings are being completely honest about how they feel but for some reason - and especially when they have a diagnosis of BPD - they are not believed. There seems to be a vacuum in the understanding of this illness - professionals seem to think there is an ulterior motive for expressing such distress, and people are made to feel that that they are a nuisance and that they should be able to stop the way they feel by simply having something to eat, or having a bath or a good sleep. My relative tried every distraction there was - none provided an answer - he turned to alcohol and drugs, which was a temporary and eventually lethal solution.
I think that in the UK there needs to be much more research into mental health illness in general. In the US, BPD or emotionally unstable personality disorder does seem to be recognised as an illness that can be inherited - just as cancer, heart disease and diabetes are inheritable illnesses. Just like physical disease environment and lifestyle play their part - but in the UK we have screening for physical illness, yet none for mental health problems which still seem to be thought of as being the 'fault' of the person who suffers from them.
Suicide and mental health distress occurs quite a lot in my maternal family history and I am sure that there is a genetic component to this. It needs more of us to speak out and to stop being stigmatised by feeling that our mental health is something to be ashamed of when it isn't good. So I urge everyone to keep going so that our voices will be heard and we will get the same recognition and help that people with physical illnesses can expect.
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