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My journey into work
Posted Wednesday 31 August 2011
This is the first in a series of guest blogs by Alison who is about to start working after 13 years on incapacity benefits.
I have been on incapacity benefits for nearly 13 years, supported by health professionals sensitive to letting me progress at my own pace. This year I’ve felt ready for change and wanted to control my own journey into work. I asked my social worker to refer me to a supported employment adviser.
At first I was looking for a plan ‘B’ in case my benefit status ever changed and I felt pushed into 'any job' later on. Working closely with my employment adviser I started to realise I had many talents and deserved to be rewarded in work. Eight months of intensive support and job searching paid off at the beginning of August when I was offered my first job.
Instead of ‘getting back’ into work I am approaching paid employment for the first time in my mid-thirties. I became unwell in my youth due to a serious eating disorder. This experience ended my time at university; pulling the plug on expected milestones of first jobs, colleagues and career development. During recovery it has felt impossible to catch up with others my age who invested their time in careers rather than focusing on intensive treatment.
I used my time out of work productively whenever my health allowed me to do so. My main and first chosen voluntary work was with the Citizens Advice Bureau helping members of the public with their advice problems. The benefits have gone both ways as volunteering introduced me to an excellent organisation which is a strong voice for those in greatest need and for social justice. Colleagues at CAB helped me develop my confidence. Outside of the CAB, I also joined service user involvement forums, speaking on behalf of other service users to decision-makers including NHS Trust chief executives, council officers and social services commissioners.
My supported employment adviser uses the Individual Placement and Support Model which means finding the right job and matching it to the person. She has been a star, encouraging me not to give up despite many rejections, the current stressful conditions in the job market and daunting interviews.
At a time when there is a much greater expectation for people to ‘return to work’ I hope to write a series of blogs for Mind explaining the transition and advocating that this be done with care and respect for personal choice. I am not setting any benchmark or calling for others to do paid work just because I am.
I believe that supported volunteering should be an option for people on benefits and in my role at the CAB I regularly assist people with disabilities to receive their entitlements. I also challenge mental health professionals who assume that recovery means paid employment or a discharge from services - that is recovery being all about someone working again, contributing to society as an employee rather than as a volunteer or family member or someone who needs time to recover from adverse experiences. (Ed's note: Updated 4pm 31 Aug 2011)
I remember how I needed to stay in survival mode for significant lengths of time - I couldn't imagine getting through that week, let alone signing an employment contract. I am writing this at a more hopeful time on a personal level although my anxiety remains high.
For me, planning to start work is exciting, worrying, amazing and a big unknown. It is a relief to come off certain benefits but a great challenge to try alternatives in a society that doesn't always understand mental health. I desperately want to succeed this time and believe that it is the right moment for me to do it.
Alison
23 Comments
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I don't know you Alison but am very proud of you! It must be very scary but I am sure all those skills your learnt at CAB will transfer over wonderfully. I too find it difficult and suffer with regular bouts of depression so find it very hard going back to work after time off with it.. keep your chin up, people can be very kind and help you through it I found...just a matter of finding a supportive employer! x
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I am very proud of you, and really respect the fact that even though you have achieved this you still grasp completely that paid work should not be an enforced holy grail and that volunteering should be an option.
I am aware that the support you received won't be available to many and I also that when there is support the typical jobs achieved are manual/factory/domestic/retail where reasonable adjustments/working from home/graded returns etc, all the things promoted by those who haven't walked your journey promote, do not apply.Well done, you're amazing! x
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If you believe strongly enough anything can be achieved. I started back in employment after a number of years illness in 2000. I have had both good and alas bad experiences with employers. I have always felt I have had to go that bit further to show employers I am well and able to hold down a job. Still 11 years down the line if I have to take time off with my mental health condition it seems to be looked at differently than if I had a broken leg.
Although things are improving there is still a long way to go to ensure companies do not inadvertently discriminate around issues of mental health. I have achieved far more than I ever envisaged but still to this day come up against the health policies so many companies still have. In the 21st century I hope that equality will become more prominant in the work place as at times I am still labeled as an employee with mental health issues rather than a person taking sick leave.
At one point in my 11 years back in work I was in a large office and the individuals who had the most sick time were those who were supposedly not affected by mental ill health. For example, hang over, slight cold, slight flu etc.
So many people who have been through mental ill health and have returned to work are valuable employees who have excellent skills due to lived experience. I don't want this reply to been seen as negative as it is not meant to be that. I really do wish you well and there are good employers out there. I have had good times in all my places of work but each time I have had to take time off with my mental health condition it is looked at differently.
There really does need to be an overhaul of Human Resource policies in the UK as latent discrimination in employment still exists in some areas of work; this is also very difficult to prove. I have always been honest and most companies are helpful but the odd few still see mental health as a problem for them; it is their loss. -
Fantastic post Alison - I really hope you find something you want to do. I'm sure you'll make a great employee. And I agree with you that wages aren't the only way to be valued. In fact, at the wrong time, an employment contract can feel like a noose round your neck. (It's also not much fun for an employer if they feel that they're overloading you.)
My daughter is just struggling to get back into her education after a long (and continuing) period of mental illness. It's hard to reassure her that it is Ok if she falls off the conveyor belt of education and earning for a while. The more she worries about this, of course the more likely she is to be stressed and fall off! Stories like yours can really help to show that your life can still be valuable even if it is not completely conventional.
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It is indeed a relief to come off benefits and you should be okay Alison. You can do it - others have, it really can be done.
I came off benefits and got a job 21 years after leaving school, 18 years after leaving mental institutions.
Unlike you, I had been on income support (equivalent of Jobseekers allowance) nearly all the time and never had Incapacity Benefit. A psychiatrist refused to let me have a place at an Employment Rehabilitation Centre or write me a letter in support of council housing.
I got a job by not disclosing where I had been. No way was I going to risk having any allegations of violence and 'personality disorder' that are in my notes revealed to a potential employer.
I trained as a legal secretary, got two good A levels, shorthand speeds, degree credits, did voluntary work and actually had some good secretarial jobs in the City. Not what I wanted to do but the labels, lies and stigma put on me by psychiatry wouldn't stand up to scrutiny if I applied for the academic role I really wanted and am suited to.
Am only partly employed now but there is a recession on. Moral of the story is, it can be done. Hard work and sleight of hand needed.
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I wish the so called career advisors I've been sent to via the job center were as useful.....in a year I've had only 2 interviews, one of which was a charity shop volunteer. I never got any feedback from either one let alone an offer.
All I can say it's VERY difficult to keep my Depression at bay while being what feels like ignored by potential employers & frustration of the snail like pace & lack of effort of those that are supposed to be helping me & advising me is extremely challenging.
I STILL haven't had anyone go through my CV to tell me what I should change, keep or remove.
I apply for everything I can, even those that I know will be brain numbing, soul destroying & without sounding snobbish, below me. I'm not to proud to clean streets or toilets. All I want is a job.
I'm really happy for for success, but can't help but feel very envious. -
@Catriona, I'm sorry to read about your experiences over the past year - I understand how hard it can be when you depressed to do anything let alone apply for jobs. Have you been in contact with your local Mind - some of them provide CV writing and employment support and may be able to help: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/mind_in_your_area Otherwise our Mind infoline can also help you find support near you - you can contact them on 0300 123 3393 / info@mind.org.uk Take care of yourself, Taryn from Mind
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Catriona
I am really sorry that looking for a job has become depressing and soul destroying. I know my post is positive but I could have written in a similar way several months ago about my large number of applications and the unskilled posts I would still receive rejections from - I expect my face didn't fit and they were looking for someone who had done the same paid job previously. I also would spend over five hours on an application and not receive any feedback, I didn't even get that after interviews except one. I also started to feel close to envious of other people either already working or securing jobs without high odds against them always. I know writing this won't help you feel any better from this reality, it does seem so unfair and harsh at the time and I wish you had people around to support you with this. It's hard enough for people who don't have mental health experiences to cope with this stressful process and when you have the vulnerability with your mental health it is difficult more than many other people understand.
With the job centre I don't know if the adviser you saw is still in post. The job centres do now have the Work Programme where it could be that another subcontractor has that contract and would use a different approach. Work Choice is also available to those who have disadvantages due to their disability and need long term help. Of course, I can't say that this would be available to you in practice only that I believe it should be when it's necessary. I don't know if you are referred for any mental health treatment, but in primary care the Increased Access to Psychological Therapies services (GP referral or self)have linked employment advisers. In community mental health teams the vocational adviser is also an integral part. However, I know that obtaining help for mental health is a struggle for many and again I acknowledge I have been fortunate even though I've also had to fight at times. Alison -
Dymphna
It sounds like you have really had to battle to improve your job and life prospects. I trust that you do count yourself as a survivor. I hope that you found decent housing though it sounds like all reasonable help was denied to you by that psychiatrist. Seems like you have got to where you are in spite of the mental health system available (or not) then. You had a lot to overcome alone here. I know there is a stigma attached to certain diagnoses, which then feel like a judgement rather than acknowledgement of hard work or personal strengths. I wish that you had been able to pursue your preferred career - it's a reflection of society that you couldn't, you should be proud of every work and course you took up as it sounds like this amounted to a great deal. I hope you find the right number of hours and work for you now.
I also worried about my health disclosure but this is where my supported employment adviser could give expert advice about presenting myself at occupational health assessment, giving honest and appropriate answers to questions asked directly of me and filling in the pre employment questionnaire when this asked for specific details of my health history. I also tend to be clear what problems I need to be in the past and the health issues I still identify with now. I know that my keen-ness to work showed through but I owe a lot to good preparation and confidence building.
Alison -
JuliesMum
Thank you so much for replying. I do hope that your daughter can feel she has a future - whether that includes work, study, time out or volunteering. There isn't one fixed option for us and sometimes it's testing them to find out which suits us at the time, it doesn't mean we have failed if we don't follow a particular path just that our own may take us in a kind of meandering way but still get to a point that is fulfilling and worthwhile.
But with study if it's a subject you really want to do then there are so many possibilities for personal development. There is that social side to education that can be difficult at times. I found it so but that was as much about the limitations posed by my eating disorder at the time - I now can imagine that many other students were struggling in some way with their emotional health it's just that I was unaware and isolated. I hope that there is support at the educational establishment/college she is going to - many do have counsellors and welfare support people -including those who advise on disability needs. I have found with CAB volunteering I have kept learning - from the people I've met and the resources freely available there. Family support goes a long way and it sounds like she has someone always there for her whatever she decides in her life ahead. All the best.
Alison -
In Recovery - As you say it is the employer's loss where they avoid potential employees affected by mental health issues or sideline current ones, as you may have felt at times. The irony is that we probably make the best employees when conscientious (though you shouldn't have to do more to prove yourself I really understand that feeling as I have it even before I start!) I hope that you do work with companies who have better HR policies and attitudes to sickness absence. I can imagine it's really difficult having to hide or just worry about the reason for your absence when you know that mental health just gets seized upon.
There is the Equality Act and I hope this allows protection from discrimination on the grounds of mental health under its disability provisions, but still I have yet to experience things in practice, the signs with my new employer are thankfully very good so far. I realise it may be different for certain professions.
I know that some employers also are well known for their best practice in mental health (BT is often mentioned) and there is a Mindful Employer network that many sign up to, they have a lot of free written resources to offer these employers. http://www.mindfulemployer.net/about_us.htmlYour post wasn't negative. In writing here I'd wanted to give a real world view of work and mental health rather than an ideal one, while emphasising the positives that can be found I know that the world of employment may be a long way still from giving those with mental health needs the chances they deserve, I hope things do change at all levels and for you personally. As you say, you have achieved more than you evisaged already.
Alison -
Mindreader
My personal view is that paid work shouldn't feel forced or seen as the sole desired outcome for mental health recovery. I think that the value of volunteering is at times overlooked now, it is seen as a mere stepping stone rather than an essential activity for communities and wellbeing. It's also where people can feel comfortable in contributing but not under pressure that they will be rejected for the times they aren't well enough to make it in or don't get things right. Without some voluntary work experience I wouldn't have been able to get interviews let alone a job offer.
With Individual Placement and Support it is the person who elects to see an employment adviser rather than a health professional pushing them in this direction since it will be good for them.
I know I am fortunate in having an employment adviser as well as seeing a psychologist for the first six months while I am in work. I realise that many others don't have that kind of support and I wish that services could improve so that this was recognised as necessary support rather than the exception. I've also had such supportive survivor friends as well as significant professionals in the past - but this also reflects the way it has been such a long, painful, often desperate journey to get to where I am now.
I also agree that jobs need to be suitable and of good quality. It isn't exactly good for mental health to have to take on a job that will be the first available (eg a cleaning job where you have OCD).
Thanks so much, Alison -
Luffly
Thanks so much for responding so quickly and positively. It's encouragement like yours that makes me feel I can face my massive anxiety about this major life change (my employment adviser also has to help keep me positive and I appreciate all the feedback here as it's been so good which explains why I've wanted to reply individually).
Sounds like you also have to overcome your own depression while in work and when returning there. I know that depressive illness can just destroy all motivation and lead to even worse things/thoughts, so it does take a lot of strength to see that through towards recovery. I hope that at other times work can be good for your mental health, showing you the positive impact you make there and that despite the difficulties you still go back. It's hard when depression is invisible or when the word depressed gets overused in public whereas you know it's true meaning.
I also am heartened that people are kind, I've found this with colleagues at my voluntary work - they have been open minded, generous and supportive. I hope that I have these sort of colleagues when in the workplace.
Alison -
Your blog is excellent Alison and i really appreciate your comment that 'supported volunteering' should be an option for people on benefits and that 'recovery' should not be all about paid employment and discharge from services.
You talk about the range of skills and experience you have developed whilst volunteering with the CAB and in service-user involvement roles, and talk about starting paid employment with the support of a specialist employment adviser. Can i ask if the employment you have found is using the high-level skills you have developed over the years, as i know there is concern out there about people with mental health conditions being forced into low paid, unskilled work?
Best wishes
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A Mind supporter, I really appreciate your comments here and you ask a good question which I can answer fully.
Employment needs to be chosen, secure, appropriate and sustainable otherwise it may cease to be 'good for mental health'.
Choice can seem limited. After long experience of mental health issues we may be 'too old' to do apprenticeships or graduate entry posts despite having many talents. Advertised job vacancies appear as labouring or canvassing or else highly professional roles that take years of training.
It wasn't about pay - as I did apply for work at the minimum wage, just that I didn't want to be very unhappy in an unsuitable job then start becoming unwell as a result.
I knew I had to start at stage one, but also wanted to see some way of changing roles one day in future.
I was looking for part time jobs in my local area (I don't drive due to my anxiety which is another obstacle). I discussed my choices with my employment adviser who asked me what my dream job would be and what else I wanted to do which could be achievable. My choice was doing office based work, admin or reception - though no doubt roles that many experienced jobseekers were going for too. I had done some IT type qualifications including ECDL in the past, initially in a centre for people with mental health needs to gain basic computer skills. I felt a valued team member in my voluntary work and knew that being among people in an office worked well for me, better than being at home where I can go into myself and a number of obsessions.
I applied for GP/college/school/home improvement shop/reception positions but was unsuccessful, I was in tears after the rejection from a college as with three vacancies I thought that was my best chance, they chosen candidates had further education experience.
Finally I am going to work in a similar field to CAB (an organisation helping people resolve their practical problems) but in an administrative position and this feels just right. Alison -
I do wonder how soul destroying it will become for me. Being in my mid-forties with a diagnosis of schizophrenia I don't have a work record only a relapse one. So it will be something of a miracle if I should ever escape the working-for-benefits trap (one reduced further and cut down by housing benefit changes along with a dismissal of current illness related add-ons). I think I'm gonna become very ill, very, when all the changes kick in for me. I don't trust people - the illness, and their appears no paid work for this kind of illness, only slave drudgery - working for benefits....although when push comes to shove I'm used to falling over.
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Congratulations, Alison, and good luck.
I have had to leave my job as a result of various factors and am now desperate to get back to work as this is the only thing that gives me any sense of self-esteem. But suffering from massive depression makes it so, so difficult even to organise cvs and forms. And having no personal support I suffer appalling loneliness.
I hope you can be an inspiration to others in the same position as you were.
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To 'Klunkler Bostecker Procession' -
I hope that you don't have to go through jobseeking ever where it would make your health issues even worse. I know that welfare reform is happening at a fast pace and I encourage friends in a similar position to yourself to get CAB advice and medical evidence from mental health professionals if there are requests to review benefit entitlements (and again this is over a period of three years so may well not be for a while). With the migration from incapacity benefits to Employment and Support Allowance, you an get advice from CAB at any time. In the community mental health teams in my own area time slots are available with a benefits adviser from Social Services guiding clients so that the ESA questionnaire is completed in the right way with enough detail, and encouragement given to get letters from medical staff who know you who can explain how your health problems affect you in line with the ESA descriptors, especially if being found fit for work is likely to cause substantial risk to your own or others health/safety.
But for anyone it's important not to ignore any letters/forms that do come through.
You can find your nearest CAB through here. http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/get_advice.htm
Disability Alliance also produce good factsheets on work and benefits including one on ESA http://www.disabilityalliance.org/f31.htm
With housing benefit if your concern is that reduced housing benefit levels/local housing allowance won't cover your full rent, you can apply for a discretionary housing payment.
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_money/benefits/help_with_your_rent_-_housing_benefit.htm
(note that these links are for England, I don't know what country you are from, but the advice guide website also covers Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales if you go to those sections.)
There is help out there and I hope that you can access this so you don't bear the worries alone, There should be protection here. -
Richard
Thank you for your message, sorry that you have had a period of illness and have left your job. Reading your message I realise it may be so disappointing though it doesn't mean that you can't return to some other work in future. I believe that you may need to take time out to recover, being in the workplace when very depressed would be very difficult in terms of pressure and suppressing all the symptoms so that you look okay to the outside world. It isn't good for the employer to have under performance from an economic sense, so I think they should support their employees properly during time away to get well and in usual management practice. I don't know if you resigned because you felt you had no choice or if there was any discriminatory treatment by your employer but it may be worth going to see the CAB to check this out, as soon as possible as time limits apply to employment tribunal action - as well as helping you to claim benefits to which you are entitled to replace earnings. You say that working is the only thing that gives you self esteem. I think that self esteem fades when are depressed, and perhaps in overcoming aspects of this you may one day feel esteem from other areas of your life - surviving serious illness is a massive strength in itself. You said also about having no personal support, I hope that your GP is aware of your difficulties, they can refer to psychological therapies that would be brief (up to 20 sessions) or otherwise to secondary care mental health. I draw inspiration from others who are living with mental distress as much as from those who are working as I will be doing shortly - so do take care of yourself. I can recommend volunteering for contact with others and confidence, when you feel well enough again, Alison -
There is active discrimination towards anyone with mental health problems when it comes to getting work I should know. Few of my letters ever get answered and the two supermarkets that did reply referred me to a website which had no jobs. I asked at my local supermarket and was told by a checkout woman 'there are no jobs I know' since then new faces have appeared and I've seen people handing in their CV's. Two weeks ago I saw an advertisement in the local paper asking for care assistants, I rang for an application form-it never arrived. Alison, good luck but you are lucky you had support and it is clear people beleive in you-not the case for most of us.
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a good topic. Im kind of caught up in ' can't afford to try that. I can't cope when it goes wrong financially' and it sounds like I'm going to be OK for the benefits for now. So thats OK . Im also caught up in having to fill in gaps in the services for myself and others because of the cuts in support.
and actuallly feel quite frustrated about my ambitions. But I have been able to do some volunteering and have now enrolled on a course for September. I feel that I need to be patient. There were many years when i couldn't even do voluntary work. it was amazing when that ability resurfaced! If I push too hard then I'll just go back into 'survival mode' a s someone put it here
thanks for listening.
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Linda
I think that you deserve to be believed in by an employment adviser similar to my own, it's clear you are determined to try to find some work. I don't know if the jobcentre can refer you to an employment support provider, or if your GP or any health professional would do this for you. I know they can't usually create or magic a job as it is competitive employment in the real world, but they can support you through it and follow leads up. They do have contacts in employers already and can give work placements which can lead to paid opportunities at times. I know that the supported employment agency I use has contacts with many local employers and a number of other success stories among people with mental health conditions and/or learning disabilities.
I have been through many, many rejections including no response to requests I made. A job offer was really hard fought for and the chances looked remote for a long time. I realise I am lucky because i've been shut out before. I was advised by people I know to have a break from jobseeking because it was so draining and I am sensitive to rejection due to my emotional health issues. I realise it's difficult out there and hope that comes through in what I have written throughout here. I still think there should be a right to good employment support though I know it is dependent on area and access to health services. I wish the system were better for all irrespective of diagnosis and problems, and try to say this on a local level that mental health needs to be a priority.
I think the whole job market conditions have changed, where once we may have been given a chance more readily, now there are hundreds of other applicants after one job. I hope that more can be done to create employment opportunities but I know in a downturn things aren't promising and mental health history can become an additional disadvantage.
I do hope that if you continue to look for work you get more response from employers and I do hear you -
Katie
If you've found suitable voluntary work and a college placement too then these sound like good learning opportunities (and more than enough for now). These can be good for your health as well as your CV - and show that you are trying to fill the gaps that otherwise are left by our mental distress. I needed a lot of time out from employment and only now actually feel in the right position to try it out. I also worry about what if this goes wrong and being back at square one regarding benefits - the linking rules ended for the 'old' incapacity related benefits in January of this year. There really should be more safeguards and a benefit system that allows trying out work for a limited number of hours (ie under 16) and being able to keep more from benefits so it isn't an all or nothing option (I do acknowledge permitted work here though can't speak from personal experience of doing this, I know that my employment adviser supports others who have this arrangement).
I also understand when you say about having to fill the gaps in support due to cuts. I can see mental health services changing in my own area - due to commissioning and funding shortfalls - and this will affect many people's ability to think about going back to work as the support won't be there or not for long enough.
Do be patient with yourself as you say here, doing voluntary work is a big achievement and more valuable than you tend to realise at the time. I hope that you are thanked for going in and it's a kind of volunteering that makes your day. Good luck with this - you do have time and just keep going as you are, then you can also test out what's an acceptable number of hours/stress/type of workplace/vocation for you. 'Survival mode' is a really difficult place to be - not ill enough to get crisis help but not well enough to feel part of the world. You don't need that, your mental health comes first. Alison
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