Posted: Monday 16 May 2011
This guest blog is part of a series on mental health at work; our Taking care of business campaign
Firstly, I am writing this blog from my position as a person with bipolar disorder.
I was finally diagnosed in 2008, though I had exhibited symptoms since my early teens. Diagnosis was a relief – I had a name for my pain.
During my working life, I have been absent with severe depression many times. In between I either had a ‘normal’ phase or would spiral into hypomania or mania. The periods of normality decreased, and I knew I had to get help. In work, I have had difficulties with colleagues, particularly those in authority, due to my aggressive outbursts and rollercoaster moods. Thankfully I have never lost a job because of it.
I was working for a major City firm when I was diagnosed. I was afraid for my job, but felt that I really should tell them. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. However the meeting went well, and the HR manager was very understanding. I took a colleague in with me for support.
Telling your employer is a difficult decision to make and doesn’t work for everyone. My employer was very supportive, and when I felt unable to work, they said that I should come back to the office when I was ready and put no pressure on me to do so. Partly their attitude was due to my actively trying to find meds that worked, and also that I continued talking to HR. In my experience communication between me and my employer was the most important thing when dealing with my mental illness. I was very open about my bipolarity with most of the staff as I felt the best way to challenge the stigma of mental illness was to talk about it. Most were receptive and keen to understand.
Since then, I have had the courage to leave my well-paid job in London, sell my house, move to the Midlands and start a new life. I would not have been able to do so without medication and excellent CBT. I don’t regret it for a second.
When I moved here I attended an interview and decided to disclose my illness. The interview had been going well, but after I mentioned my bipolarity, the interviewer seemed to “glaze over” and I knew I was out of the running. My agency was shocked as I had been their best candidate. It was clear to me that disclosure prior to being in a job was perhaps not the best idea!
I am now working in a hospital and am still very open about my illness - it hasn’t affected the way I am treated by my colleagues. My personal attitude is that I will not be discriminated against or suffer stigma due to my illness. There wouldn’t be such a stigma with say, diabetes, so why should I be any different? For those of us who feel able to challenge society’s views, perhaps those who are less able to do so may feel capable of at last stepping into the light.
Lexy P.
Read Mind's information and advice on work, whether it's how to stay well at work, dealing with stress or workplace bullying.
Getting a proper diagnosis does help. Imagine going through all these symptoms and worse and being told its all down to your personality and left to hang out to dry. Imagine having an employer who moves heaven and earth to get rid of you because of 'depression'. Imagine no income because you benefit scum and no one wants to employ you.
Thank you for sharing your story as this helps break the stigma. I also live with Bipolar Disorder and have been in the situation of should you tell or not tell employers. I also have diabetes and agree that is considered fine in the work environment (not seen as a problem).
Even with recent changes regarding applying for positions those short listing are not given the information that you may have a mental health condition but alas this fails to rectify how to write down long absences that may have occured far in the past. I spent 7 years off sick due to my Bipolar and to this day even though I work and have done for 12 years I feel it is a barrier that has caused loss of oppertunity in the work place. Some time ago I applied for a job and had all the criteria and still was not even short-listed and I strongly believe it was because I was honest and stated I live with Bipolar Disorder.
I will continue to support all initiatives that will break down the barriers that remain. Why don't people just accept that a mental health issue is not seperat from physical illness. The brain is a body organ. I am a person who works well for a large percentage of the year and I really have achieved huge strides yet still feel guilt when I have a Bipolar 'Blip! which is what a bad spell is.
Work is so important for many people who live with mental ill health and recovery principles mean that we can live life and function just as any other individual. Thank you for an honest veiw on work and Bipolar. I think of it as being a battery 'positive' at one end and 'negative' at the other end and when working together well being and I am not Einstein!
Thank you for sharing your exerience, i myself suffer with bi-polar--- and in the past have felt ashamed and embarassed about discussing it in the workplace and with this campaign i hope we can change that .
I'd like to respond to Linda's comments. (Ed's note, we remove Linda's comments relating to Lexy being "something in the city" and middle class. Please be supportive of each other.)
Linda, I was definitely NOT "something in the city". I have been a secretary my entire working life. and I am really not middle class. I was diagnosed at 40, having suffered the symptoms since very early in my life. I have had to sell two houses because I ran up hundreds of thousands of pounds of debt when manic (thanks to credit card companies allowing me more and more spending power). Before I was diagnosed, I had a disciplinary meeting with my employer due to my absence so they certainly weren't understanding until I finally knew what was wrong with me. And the same with a previous employer who made my life a misery. And I have certainly also been "benefit scum" - to use your words.
I find it a bit of a shame that you have made so many erroneous assumptions about another person from a simple blog trying to give support their fellow sufferers.
I only ended up with a diagnosis in 2008 due to one of my closest friends being bipolar and recognising the symptoms in me. I also had an horrendous mixed episode and ended up being seen as an emergency by the psych team. Yes, I was lucky with my psych team. They were amazing, and I appreciate that not everyone else has such a supportive bunch of people. But I will say that you get out of therapy and the med-go-round exactly what you put into it, no matter how ill you are at the time.
And really it is a pity that you assume that people from diffferent classes suffer less with mental illness than others. I did find your comments quite hurtful, though given the state of depression I have been in for the last week or so, had I seen them on Friday they would have caused a great deal more damage. Please do try and think a bit before attacking others in such a way.
I do hope you get the support and help that you need. Nobody deserves to suffer a mental illness without those things.
It is very difficult when your illness (mania) puts you in opposition to the authorities at work. During my last manic episode, whilst off sick, I held quite delusional beliefs about my employers and my line manager. I was unfortunately sacked for acting on those beliefs.
MY employers had known about my mental health issues and had employed me for the best part of ten years, throughout some episodes of very poor health
I am pleased you experience a different sort of treatment.
I am now on ESA and suffering the worst depression ever, trying to come to terms with the ruin my life is now left in.
I hope this campaign makes a difference
Thank you for sharing. I too face the dilemma of whether to disclose my mental illness to employers and worry about being discriminated against. Workplaces have a responsibility to take care of their employees regardless of disabilities and I feel for those employees who do not have the support of their employers.
@ Lisaclaire. I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences. I can only say that it is rare for your life to be COMPLETELY ruined. Honestly, I have managed to rebuild after some very difficult times and I'm sure you will be able to once you are feeling stronger. If you have the support of a good psych team and counsellor, it is amazing what you can achieve. Supportive friends can also make a huge difference. I really hope things don't continue to feel so desperate for you. Please feel free to contact me via Mind if you want to have a chat.
Disclosure is very much a personal decision. My previous experience of my employer hadn't been encouraging as far as my disclosing my illness went, but I really felt that I had to bite the bullet. Taking my line manager in there was very important as not only did I have a witness should I have needed one, but her support really helped as far as having the courage to do it.
If you feel that you want/need to disclose to your employer, then do find someone you can take with you for support and witness purposes.
@Lexy
Sorry my blog upset you
Hi Linda, you didn't upset me per se, but I did want to let you know that you had assumed things about someone. We are all different, and all suffering from similar illnesses which affect our lives horribly.
I felt for you. I could feel your anger and frustration at not being given access to the help you needed. I knew it wasn't aimed at me, but I was feeling quite fragile at the time I read it.
I really hope things get better for you. Maybe your GP could refer you to a mental health advocate and then you'd have someone fighting your corner with you. I know how hard it can be to fight for help when you can barely get out of bed.
Take good care of yourself
Lexy
x
People say there is no discrimination when it comes to the workplace legally you know they cannot get rid of you or refuse you work as a result of your illness but they can mask this with other pathetic excuses I worked for a company for over a year and was doing well in my job, I had a period of severe depression and was off for several weeks. After explaining my illness to them they appeared supportive but ever since have refused to increase my hours at work and I am not even considered for interviews in other departments because of my sick record. I get struck down before I have the chance to explain its not fair.
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