Posted: Tuesday 16 March 2010
By Izzi, who writes the blog How to Juggle Glass
Having completed my Bachelor's and Master's degrees, I am currently a PhD student at one of the UK’s top universities. I also have had “severe and enduring” mental health problems since my teenage years, which have had (and still have) a large impact on my life and the lives of those around me.
I write a blog called “How to juggle glass” which chronicles my experiences of having mental health problems at university in an attempt to learn from them and to help others in the same position.
University is a time of money worries for most students, but for me it is a source of very real difficulties.
I have problems with impulse control and am vulnerable to going on wild spending sprees when my mental health is bad. I just can’t help myself and feel like I need to spend, spend, and spend. I also have problems with the mathematics of spending and can go vastly over-budget without even realising it. This has led to me getting into debt problems.
I remember my last spending spree very clearly. When my student bursary was transferred from one place to another I was accidentally paid twice for the same month. Unfortunately this was at Christmas time and so I couldn’t resist a spending spree where I spent over £1000 in one day. Most of the things I spent my money on were presents for others.
I bought an Xbox 360 for my boyfriend and a cashmere scarf for my mum as well as many other things. I also spent nearly £200 on getting my hair done. At the end of this day I had spent an entire month’s wages and had to live with the financial repercussions.
It’s a catch 22: when I find myself getting into debt problems, my mental health deteriorates, which means I am more likely to go on another spending spree and make debt problems worse. It all goes round in a vicious cycle.
I have had some help from the welfare department at my university. They have helped me make a detailed budget so that I feel more in control of my finances. This works well when I am feeling ok, but when my mental health is bad then I still end up going on spending sprees and ruining everything.
I have also just started seeing a social worker and he said that he can help me to deal with my money troubles so there is help coming and I just need to hang on and try to prevent myself from going on any spending sprees in the meantime.
I have been in university now for 6 years. That’s 6 years of having not a lot of money; so not being in control of my finances, even for a little while can have a large impact on my life as I don’t have the buffer zone most people have.
Izzi
I suffer from severe mental health problems but my university were dismissive. I was told as I was 300 miles away from home, I was just home sick and it would soon pass despite having depression on my medical notes for years. I barely scraped through my first year, did my second year and after getting low marks resulted in me resitting the year. So I did the second year only to fail my last assignment which was worth a lot towards my final year. I was then told rather than re-sit the essay, I would have to sit the whole year again. I couldn't afford two more years at university as i'd already paid for two. So I had to leave. My tutors weren't sympathetic at all. The student health department told me to drink milk before I go to bed whilst I was suffering terrible insomnia. They also refused to give me any kind of note for essay extensions as mental health problems were just seen as typical student behaviour. I am very angry that my education has suffered and i'm now paying off a ridiculous amount of debt for what feels like 3 wasted years, just because people refused to take my condition seriously.
Hi Izzi, have you thought about getting a voluntary appointeeship? The way mine works is that when my money comes in my rent, bills and debt repayments are all removed. I have an account with no overdraft, no credit cards, no store cards and every day I get my daily living requirement put in this account. It prevents me from going overdrawn and using credit cards to blow a £1000 or so in a few days.
Its nice to kept on the financial straight and narrow and allows me to concentrate on my BSc (hons) in Biology. So far I'm passing which is always good. You gave me hope that I could get a Masters.
Thank you
hello izzi you sound like you like a good shop...are you all ways manic...its a feel good factor....
Take Care Linda...
i completely understand what you are saying. when i was at uni i was exactly the same. BPD and AvPD were my problems but they weren't diagnosed until 15 years after as i never went to the docs. until i had a breakdown. hopefully your blog will encourage others who have the same issues go see their GP quickly and not be like me and bottle it all up and use un-helpful coping mechanisms.
It's such a shame that depression is still not seen as the very great and profound problem it is even after 40 years - I am much much older than you are and had to leave my then nursing career (which was a university course) because my illness was not recognized. I am now a grown woman with grown up children of my own and still cannot believe that I wasted those two years. Best wishes to you for the future and take care of yourself..
University is where my long-term Mental Health problems reached a head and I ended up not finishing my degree.
Money was one of the main reasons for this: I spent my rent money, food money and money for bills on things I didn't need. Most, if not all, of these things I can't even remember now. I ended up being bailed out by my family; something which potentially changed those relationships forever.
University is an extremely difficult time for those that suffer with mental health problems because the highs and the lows of a condition like mine are often seen as 'normal' student behaviour and you can get lost in the crowd. There is also no routine to speak of and the 'sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll' lifestyle can compound the problems that come with conditions like Bipolar.
I am now working in an office full time, something which I never thought I would do. I was always a high acheiver and often thought I'd change the world. The job is fairly easy but keeps me busy and the work stops me from becoming too self-absorbed. As much as I love to learn, education just didn't work for me... who knows what I will be able to do in the future, but for now I am very happy where I am.
I wish those with similar problems who are embarking on a degree all the best... I have to say that although the mental health sector is severely lacking, there is some fantastic support out there.
My experience of mental health problems while at University were largely negative.
After leaving a law degree at a top three law department in the mid 1990's due to mental ill health, my consultant advised me not to return to the University. However, shortly after, he encouraged me to reapply to a more local University.
Around the time I was to take up my unconditional offer at University 2, I fell ill again. After disclosing this to the University and why I had left the first University, the admissions tutor effectively told me to get lost, casting aspersions on my suitability for the legal profession and refusing to entertain my request of deferring entry to the following year.
However this was in the mid 1990's,when student grants were in their dying days, it looks like things may have changed a bit since then.
While I was trying to figure out what to do with my life, I found the local Mind drop in centre very useful. I was eventually diagnosed as bi-polar.
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